I have been on this site for years and it has helped me immensely.
I have been trying to build a social group in my mid 40's with no success. I was trying to reestablish my childhood friends and some have moved on and show no interest. Even 1-2 '"nerds" never got back to me. I learned from this site never to take things personal. 1 kid did not get back to me and it may have been attributed to family dynamics. Our families were friends and his father almost died in a car accident He may not want to talk to me or possibly he simply remembers me as an a-hole. Who knows and I should not care. I asked him how is mother is etc and he never responded.
I grew up rough. I was one of those kid's in school who appeared homeless and unstable. I switched school systems 6-7x growing up. Lived in a trailer, etc. There was one town I spent many years in and I consider that my hometown. This town is a middle to upper middle class city. Almost all the kid's lived in a nice house and had access to an older car i.e mom's volvo,
Lately, I have been obsessed with reliving my childhood in this hometown. You know -being the kid with a nice car, hot girlfriend, rich dad, etc. We cannot go back in time.
Thankfully, I have a wife and kid so I have a nice family but no blood relatives. I have 1 stable cousin who talks to no one and that includes me. I think basic rejection by people affects me a great deal more than others because I was rejected by both my parents when I was young and largely by this wealthy town. I was seen as a dirty loser back them and admittedly, I was. I am somewhat accomplished now and can see all this.
This site has taught me there is no continuity in relationships. You may have close ties to a girl (even married) and her family. If that marriage falls apart, you lose that whole network. It's important for a man to know how to build from where he is.
It does not matter if I cannot connect with anyone from the past. I never stole from them, chased their girlfriends, etc. If some want nothing to do with me, that is okay. It does hurt, but dealing with pain is something we have to do.
A mistake I made was never trying to branch out with my friend network. I think growing up in many ways as an orphan (mom left, dad was in jail, then they both remarried and by the time I was 14, there was no room for me. I left home at 17-18), caused me to attach to people a little too much. I am obsessed with this town and the idea of being a teen and banging one of the hot chicks who live in a nice house. Growing up, I always saw these women as the forbidden land. They were beautiful, came from nice homes, etc. I did not even bother as I was such an outcast. This always bothered me. I am sure many of us wish we could go back and do it over. Maybe it was merely an overall symptom of a lost childhood. Who knows. The people who remember me ( if any do) from this period of my life do not have fond memories of me. They saw me as the motherless child of an alcoholic father who was a nut case.
In closing, what I have learned from SS over the years is a man builds from scratch every aspect of his life from where he is at that point. This goes for friends , money , women , etc.
I welcome your feedback and thoughts
Thanks
I have been trying to build a social group in my mid 40's with no success. I was trying to reestablish my childhood friends and some have moved on and show no interest. Even 1-2 '"nerds" never got back to me. I learned from this site never to take things personal. 1 kid did not get back to me and it may have been attributed to family dynamics. Our families were friends and his father almost died in a car accident He may not want to talk to me or possibly he simply remembers me as an a-hole. Who knows and I should not care. I asked him how is mother is etc and he never responded.
I grew up rough. I was one of those kid's in school who appeared homeless and unstable. I switched school systems 6-7x growing up. Lived in a trailer, etc. There was one town I spent many years in and I consider that my hometown. This town is a middle to upper middle class city. Almost all the kid's lived in a nice house and had access to an older car i.e mom's volvo,
Lately, I have been obsessed with reliving my childhood in this hometown. You know -being the kid with a nice car, hot girlfriend, rich dad, etc. We cannot go back in time.
Thankfully, I have a wife and kid so I have a nice family but no blood relatives. I have 1 stable cousin who talks to no one and that includes me. I think basic rejection by people affects me a great deal more than others because I was rejected by both my parents when I was young and largely by this wealthy town. I was seen as a dirty loser back them and admittedly, I was. I am somewhat accomplished now and can see all this.
This site has taught me there is no continuity in relationships. You may have close ties to a girl (even married) and her family. If that marriage falls apart, you lose that whole network. It's important for a man to know how to build from where he is.
It does not matter if I cannot connect with anyone from the past. I never stole from them, chased their girlfriends, etc. If some want nothing to do with me, that is okay. It does hurt, but dealing with pain is something we have to do.
A mistake I made was never trying to branch out with my friend network. I think growing up in many ways as an orphan (mom left, dad was in jail, then they both remarried and by the time I was 14, there was no room for me. I left home at 17-18), caused me to attach to people a little too much. I am obsessed with this town and the idea of being a teen and banging one of the hot chicks who live in a nice house. Growing up, I always saw these women as the forbidden land. They were beautiful, came from nice homes, etc. I did not even bother as I was such an outcast. This always bothered me. I am sure many of us wish we could go back and do it over. Maybe it was merely an overall symptom of a lost childhood. Who knows. The people who remember me ( if any do) from this period of my life do not have fond memories of me. They saw me as the motherless child of an alcoholic father who was a nut case.
In closing, what I have learned from SS over the years is a man builds from scratch every aspect of his life from where he is at that point. This goes for friends , money , women , etc.
I welcome your feedback and thoughts
Thanks
