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Grass is Greener?

Buddha_Mind

Master Don Juan
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Have any of you ever thought of this little phrase, "the grass is always greener on the other side"? I have been thinking of this recently in a personal situation of mine.

There is a female at my workplace, she's thirty-two, I'm twenty-five. When I met her I was immediately attracted to her, and I too have for the duration of working with her, felt a mutual attraction (ie, I've caught her checking out my ass before, plain and simple). She has a boyfriend, age forty-two, and he is a lawyer at a major downtown law firm.

She follows me around the restaurant, makes me coffee, ice-cream banana drinks, pokes me and initiates playful physical contact (non-sexual, but touching of sides, arms, ect). We had a 'secret santa' thing at work, and she totally went balls to the walls on gifts, making me a blanket with all of these nature-like patches, ect. The gifts truly reflected information about who I am as a person, and they were very well thought-out.

I decided for my own reasons, that I'm refraining from women with boyfriends. I don't want to get involved. A scorn heart can be illogical, and I'm not so interested in going around hurting other males.

There is something to be said about the, "grass is always greener" expression. It's as though the flirty expression, similarities of character and life path induce a dream-like state of potentialities with that person. But the truth be told -- it likely would not be successful. Even if intimacy was initiated, it would be at the sake of cheating, and this would in my mind trump ever having a successful relationship with that person (ie, if they cheated on someone to start with me, they'll likely cheat on me in the end as well).

Sometimes we have to understand that the fantasy of something can be more exciting then the thing itself. The fantasy of relationship, or even material possession, can be more tasteful then when the thing is had -- "this isn't what I thought it was" someone might say, or, "it looked better in the box".

I am leaving soon, and I suppose there is no harm in exchanging contact information and staying in touch (never know how the future unfolds) -- but at the present place, nothing can be.

It is important in life sometimes to step back, look at a situation more objectively, then be swept up my emotion and fantasy. In some ways this can be very difficult, as emotion and fantasy can also be powerful tools to motivate the creating of something in life (even aspects of our own personal development). But we too must balance the weights of reality -- and sometimes a lustful climb can end in a painful fall.

much love.
 

horaholic

Master Don Juan
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Well, if you're not going to go for it, it should at least bump up your self esteem, and confidence. Just knowing that girls are interested in you, subtly raises your value for other girls.

Remember, the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, it just APPEARS to be.
 

bish0p

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horaholic said:
the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, it just APPEARS to be.
True. I broke up with my girlfriend because of this syndrome and now she won't take me back because she has it.
 

shaunuk

Master Don Juan
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good post BM, that gave me a lot of food for thought. I've been guilty in the past of not thinking things through properly, and in the long run AND short term I've paid for it. Things would likely have turned out better if I had just used my head instead. Peace.
 
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