"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Graduated from university but now an umemployed bum loser

shadowfox

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Not posted here for awhile. I have learnt a great deal from this forum, signing up here was one of the best decisions I ever made. Although I dont post much I haven't really needed to as I just read the DJ bible and Pooks stuff which is priceless and then just applied that. At the moment however I am in a real rut in life and I need some advice from real men who have been there done it and got the t-shirt. Don Juaning for me is not just about the women but a certain lifestyle and so I am looking for a Don Juans perspective on careers and money making.

Heres the situation:

I never really liked school at all however I always got good grades. I managed to get into a decent university and studied law. I absolutely hated university to be honest and I hated my subject but I stuck it out and got a 2.2 law degree. I dont know what the system is in the US but in the UK you have 1st class degrees then 2.1 then 2.2 then 3rd then pass then fail. A small percentage get 1sts then the majority get either 2.1s or 2.2s. In the race for jobs however it is the 2.1s that get the interviews, 2.2s are discarded. There are way more graduates than there are jobs at the moment. I am making roughly 20 applications a week for jobs for the last 3 months and nothing has happened. I have had 1 interview and a few phone calls.

I apply for graduate jobs and also minimum wage jobs. No minimum wage employer has got back to me after sending in my CV.

I got my CV made professionally for about £100 and I have been complimented by some employers by how good it is. However most employers ignore my applications or just send out the standard rejection letter.

If I do get an interview I usually mess it up. I have battled with social anxiety nearly all my life. I am a lot better thanks to sosuave etc and I manage to take the pressure away in social situations but when I feel I am being judged or try too hard to make an impression the anxiety returns and my voice starts shaking and my mind goes blank and I start sounding very stupid.

I also live in the middle of nowhere at the moment. Everything is at least 45 minutes drive away (I have no car I cannot afford the insurance premiums I have welfare but most of it goes on food for bodybuilding) or 1 hour 45 using the useless public transport system (if one bus is late and I miss a train I can be hanging around for hours and the journey becomes 3 hours one way).

I tried to set up a business but it failed. It was a web design business but I couldnt get clients because it is near impossible to get them to buy through cold calling.

I am losing all my energy becoming depressed and fear being a welfare bum for the rest of my life.

I just have no idea what to do! People say get a job, any job and I do want a job but nobody will hire me. It may be the lack of experience problem but I have offered to work for free and employers even ignore that.

People talk about networking, its not what you know but who you know but I asked my parents and they dont know anybody, I ask family and they dont know of any positions available.

I feel trapped.

What would you do in my situation? :mad:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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shadowfox

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whosthat said:
well your domeed like many others
Are you in a similar situation? The unemployment seems to have hit the youth hardest in this depression, in the UK youth unemployment is around 20% whilst in Spain youth unemployment is something like 40%.
 
U

user43770

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It's all about making connections, man. Try to get out and meet people in your field. If you're unemployed and doing nothing, it wouldn't hurt to take an unpaid internship to get your foot in the door. Employers love people that are highly motivated and willing to start at the bottom.
 

Bible_Belt

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You should probably move. Your written English is excellent; that's a valuable skill in many parts of the world. Consider getting certified to teach English as a foreign language. The world economy stinks, but some countries are still doing ok. Many US residents have left the US to find a job...as a NY Times article pointed out, that reverses a trend that is about 400 years old. China, Australia, and some oil-rich Middle Eastern countries still offer economic opportunity.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Deadly_Ripped

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If your training and performance is not sufficient when combined with your interpersonal skills, it's time to reassess your career path.

I don't care how old you are, or how long you had to work to get your degree.

1. You say that you have social anxiety. That will make it impossible for you to be a lawyer. Maybe you could have thought of that before taking on the job, but hey, hindsight is 20/20. Even if you had a 2.1 you would still be f-ing up interviews with potential employers because of your self-admitted interpersonal weaknesses.

2. Identify what strengths you posess. Actually make a 2-column list of strengths and weaknesses. Ask a family member or close friend to look it over to make sure that you're not too hard or easy on yourself.

3. Identify what resources you have at your disposal to change careers (not much of a change since you haven't actually STARTED being a lawyer at all). I'm not trying to be rude or mean - just as brutally honest as I can be.

3. Make a list of careers or specific jobs that you think you want to do.

4. Reconcile your list with your identified strengths anbd weaknesses and then identify what it would take to enter those career paths. Example: if you suck at talking to people, don't try sales, law, marketing, etc... If you don't like confrontation, then don't consider law enforcement. If you don't like blood, don't consider medical fields.


5. Reconcile your new list of career paths with your resources that would allow you to take those career paths.

6. Do it.

Don't discount technical careers where you actually get trained to have a SKILL and then you apply that SKILL and KNOWLEDGE to a particular JOB rather than something as dynamic and intellectually/socially challenging as law. If you are desperate for a career, then vocational and technical training programs are your fast-ticket to a real life career!
 

ArcBound

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TyTe`EyEz said:
It's all about making connections, man. Try to get out and meet people in your field. If you're unemployed and doing nothing, it wouldn't hurt to take an unpaid internship to get your foot in the door. Employers love people that are highly motivated and willing to start at the bottom.
This guy gave you the most information out of anyone here.

Sometimes it's not about what you know, but WHO you know. I highly doubt people turn away people wanting to be interns, and once you get your foot in the door and make connections its much easier to get a job.
 

3countriesPlan

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Get out of the Uk and go somewhere to teach english for a year. I taught for one year and HATED it, but it got me out of my hometown and opened a lot of doors for me later on.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bible_Belt

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I'm guessing you would teach the ones who already knew some English, but wanted to get better, which would be a majority of the students.
 

ElChoclo

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Your story seems authentic. You should probably do the following;

1 You don't indicate much about your geographic location. You should only go for law jobs which are within easy travelling distance from your place of residence. Firms don't really want someone who is always wanting to get the last train home. This would be one reason for rejection.

2 Don't bother applying for the 1st class honours firms. They do not want you, you have to tailor your application to places which do want you.

3 I don't know if they have to pay you minimum money which is high there or not. What you need is experience because nobody wants to pay for someone who can't actually do the work.

4 Continuing with point 3 I don't know what training they give you post qualification if anything in the UK. If they don't give you much you really need to seek work at any pay rate

5 You have a bad attitude to your profession. If you think this way now and you haven't started it yet, you won't make 10 years.

6 Apply for government jobs, they have to at least pretend that everyone is equal, frame the application right and you will get an interview at least.

7 Forget about working offshore, someone who stays in a degree which they don't like, obviously has a conservative personality, and such a lifestyle would probably not suit you, plus your seed capital is low, so you would need a confirmed proposition to even think about it.

8 Invest in a good suit if you have any spare money, sometimes the things which shouldn't matter, do matter.
 

shadowfox

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Thanks for the great response guys it is much appreciated. I am going to have to sit down soon and write out a plan taking on board the suggestions made here.
 

ArcBound

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shadowfox said:
Thanks for the great response guys it is much appreciated. I am going to have to sit down soon and write out a plan taking on board the suggestions made here.
On another note my university has a career center where they hook up students that graduated within 5 years with alumni and companies that offer job positions, might be something worth looking into.
 

joverby

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TLDR;

But, I never get why people who get a degree and can't find work where they are at don't move?

I know it's a big change but if I invested 4 or more years of my life into something(and A LOT of money) I would gladly apply all over the country / relocate to find a good job to apply my degree.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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