Gradually leaning toward AFC could use quick pointers

[Black Widow Void]

Right now, I'm on fairly solid ground, but if I keep at it, I know I'm going to sink.

Yes, I know about "spinning plates" "oneitus" etc... I could use some advice which goes beyond the quick reference.

Been seeing a girl for six weeks (we are both late 40's). Sex of course has occurred. Although I'm not acting like some homely school boy, I am finding myself being a little too flattering toward her. It's not about winning her approval, but just noticing that she's behaving positively differently than most women (which I realize can change on a dime btw). Example; when confronted on her sh*t, she's very open and owns it but has a high self-esteem (not using the female victim card, or attempting to turn tables etc..) Anyway, being aloof can be a man's best friend, but damn, I've been far from it.

I do like her (and yes, I know this is prime meat for some of you to rag on) but anyway. I have to counter-act my above actions. So far, I haven't gotten any resistance or low interest from her, but facts are facts, if I keep this up, we all know it'll back fire.

Any tips on applying a subtle push/pull ? Any good mindset to adopt while being with her. Keep in mind that anything too bras or abrasive is not going to be subtle enough. Any advice will be appreciated.

 

[samspade]

There is nothing wrong with LIKING her. That's not Oneitis. But if you feel you're being too nice or submissive around her, stop and tell yourself - she's got cooties. Tease her (playfully, not maliciously) in her presence. When apart, don't respond to her texts/calls right away. Don't step too far back, but back off enough to keep things interesting for her if that makes sense.

 

[sharkbeat]

What if you arent too concerned with your interaction with her? What if you dont care what she thinks or how she behaves? Right now you are soo concerned that shes manipulating you.

What if, instead of all the above, you continue to live and enjoy your life. And she can tag along if she wishes to, or not.

 

[ronniel]

Man, relax. She is late 40s and you are late 40s. Yous value is a lot higher than hers.

Minimum game required.

 

[VladPatton]

You're over-thinking a good situation and anticipating a bad outcome without any merit. Don't wait or expect something bad to happen. Take it day by day, event by event and see how things keep up. Only in the event that her behavior does a 360 should you need certain tactics to get your frame back, dump her, distance her, etc. It's cause and effect. For now, if things are good, you are enjoying each other's company without problems, just keep going. Forget about about the future. Deal with problems as/if they come. If you've frequented this forum for a while, you should be well equipped.

Good luck.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If you're late 40s, why does your profile say your age is 52?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Thanks for the feedback. Lots of useful info you all provided. While I think I have pretty good self-control with verbalizing, I have found myself being too candid - (which in theory, usually removes the mystery or the aloofness - which usually creates attraction). All seems to be good so far though. She also knows first hand that I have other options to fall back on though, so I'm thinking that this has also really helped.

Atom Smasher - a direct question (though I wish this had been privately emailed) deserves a direct answer. When it comes to the internet, I prefer to provide as few personal specifics as possible. My age listed as close enough to fit certain ageist particulars, but not my exact.