Got turned down by what turned out to be a gold digger, pretty dissapointed in myself

[Overcomer9]

I've been talking to a girl from college for a little bit. She seemed interested in me somewhat and we got along pretty well. I was excited at first because I have put in a lot of work into women recently and it seemed that it paid off as she seemed to enjoy my company and she is very attractive.

She started telling me about her ex today and how he was some kind of older traveling business man (saw a pic of him) and she's dated guys like this regularly. I work too, but it's just at a sporting goods store...nothing like a traveling business man. She then started asking me other questions like what kind of car I drove and where I worked and when I told her...she looked at me funny and changed altogether.

I did get around to asking her just to put it to rest and she turned me down of course. I am disappointed because if I had a couple of dollars to my name I would've succeeded and would've avoided the rejection. She of course is completely fine through it all and left with an ego stroke in turning me down...she doesn't have to deal with the feeling of rejection. Well, I am not talking to her anymore, but feel ****ty. It's not that I haven't been rejected before, but it sucks this time since there was nothing I could've done about it.

 

[CR103030]

1. Don't feel like you have to answer questions about yourself so quickly. You will always lose. You look like you're trying to validate yourself to them.

2. Why were you talking about her ex? When a girl ever talks about her ex, either change the subject or bust on her for bringing him up in the convo.

3. Sounds like you've moved on, which is the best thing for this situation. Good luck to you in future interactions.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

It's not that I haven't been rejected before, but it sucks this time since there was nothing I could've done about it.

Don't get too hard on yourself. The problem isn't with you...it's with her. Girls like this aren't worth the stress and attention, so the only thing you can do now is move on and forget about her. There are plenty of other girls who have a lot more character than this one.

For the future, if you sense a gold-digger, try not taking her very seriously. When she starts asking you about your job, car, etc., come up with something funny that also doesn't tell her exactly what your job or car is. If she puts up a stink after finding out what you do, I'd challenge her a bit - don't let her walk all over you.

 

[Overcomer9]

She had been hounding me about it for a while so I finally cave in after giving wise ass answers

We were talking about NYC and she brought him up since he lives there or something like that.

Thanks.

Don't get too hard on yourself. The problem isn't with you...it's with her. Girls like this aren't worth the stress and attention, so the only thing you can do now is move on and forget about her. There are plenty of other girls who have a lot more character than this one.

For the future, if you sense a gold-digger, try not taking her very seriously. When she starts asking you about your job, car, etc., come up with something funny that also doesn't tell her exactly what your job or car is. If she puts up a stink after finding out what you do, I'd challenge her a bit - don't let her walk all over you.

Will remember this. Did not think it would've mattered in my situation since were both 21, but I guess she has high expectations.

 

[CR103030]

Definately not your problem. You did everything you could.

BTW, what does she do for a living, what kind of car does she drive? Did she buy those things herself, or did she ***** herself for those things? You are better than that.

 

[Overcomer9]

Definately not your problem. You did everything you could.

BTW, what does she do for a living, what kind of car does she drive? Did she buy those things herself, or did she ***** herself for those things? You are better than that.

Hehe, funny you brought this up because it made me scratch my head when she told me. She drove some pretty new hatchback her parents had bought her, had to be less then 2 years old and from what she told me, she had never held a job in her life. She talked a lot about money and being something like CFO when she grew up though. I'm guessing her parents or different guys paid her way because she wore nice fashion and had pretty expensive tastes that she couldn't otherwise afford unless someone paid them for her. She is really attractive though so I could see that scenario happening (She'd brag pretty much about guys doing it at clubs).

 

[SharinganUser]

Why are you feeling bad about this???? I say you dodged a bullet here.

 

[Overcomer9]

Why are you feeling bad about this???? I say you dodged a bullet here.

In a sense, yes, I know even if I did get her she'd probably just use me so it's good I didn't, but it's just the fact that...she does this. I'm disappointed girls like her pull this stuff on many men and laugh about it because they can do it and get away with it. I know she would be madder then hell if she got a taste of her own medicine but it doesn't stop her from doing it to others. Know what I mean?

 

[CR103030]

Offer her $500 to hang out with you for an hour next time you see her just to see her reaction.

 

[SharinganUser]

Dude, she takes advantage of those chumps because she can, because they let her do it.

 

[CR103030]

I have a PhD in chemistry, make a little over 6 figures, drive a BMW, wear the nicest clothes. But when girls ask me what I drive, I say a black car. What I do for a living, I say blood donor or fashion designer. Point is... I never tell girls any of the things that these shallow girls want in a guy. It is much more satisfying to find a girl who enjoys being your interaction and not other superficial stuff that money can buy.

I obtained these things b/c I enjoy them not b/c I can brag about them. Screw these pretentious girls. They are nothing but superficial biatches.

 

[edger]

Offer her $500 to hang out with you for an hour next time you see her just to see her reaction.

LOL. If I ever happen to encounter a gold-digger who turns me down because I don't rake in 100k+ a year, this is exactly what I'm doing, so they can see what they truly are: prostitutes.This is great...lol.

 

[Overcomer9]

LOL. If I ever happen to encounter a gold-digger who turns me down because I don't rake in 100k+ a year, this is exactly what I'm doing, so they can see what they truly are: prostitutes.This is great...lol.

Hehe, I think If I made her that offer she'd jump all over the opportunity! I wouldn't do that though and believe it or not guys I'm actually not pissed off at her or wish anything bad to happen to her. Initially I was hurt and a little pissed off....but I let it go and figured what's the point...it is what it is and what she did to me is something she's going to keep doing for years.
I just feel bad for the guys who get used or the guys like myself who start to think maybe something can happen and then get denied because they don't have the amount of money she's looking for before she can allow herself to like a guy.

 

[DonJuan11]

I've been talking to a girl from college for a little bit. She seemed interested in me somewhat and we got along pretty well. I was excited at first because I have put in a lot of work into women recently and it seemed that it paid off as she seemed to enjoy my company and she is very attractive.

She started telling me about her ex today and how he was some kind of older traveling business man (saw a pic of him) and she's dated guys like this regularly.

"Wonderful. Would you like to go for coffee?"

She then started asking me other questions like what kind of car I drove and where I worked

"I drive a Honda and work a Sporting Goods store, does this impress you enough to let me inside you?" - NOT GOOD.

"Well that's not important, how we drive up Dairy Queen and grab some milkshakes, I would love to spend some time with you." - GOOD

I did get around to asking her just to put it to rest and she turned me down of course.

LOL. Translation: Don't ask me so many questions, you won't like the answers.

I am disappointed because if I had a couple of dollars to my name I would've succeeded and would've avoided the rejection.

WRONG. If you got to her feelings and emotions and excited her rather than trying to qualify yourself to her, she wouldn't be talking about her ex or asking you questions. She would be telling her girlfriends you are the most fabulous kisser who makes her knees weak.

It all depends how smart you are in talking to her and how well you can change the subject. If you are not smart and absorb everything she throws at you, of course you will be LJBFs. It all depends how witty you respond to her.

If you took her sky diving after she talked about her ex's money, she wouldn't give 2 thoughts about his bmw because she got excited with you. Instead, you tried to qualify yourself to her and played right into the HBs game.

 

[edger]

Hehe, I think If I made her that offer she'd jump all over the opportunity!

Lol.

I believe what it also comes down to with some of these gold-diggers is a FETISH. That's why some of them won't even give you a one-night stand or consider you as a f*ck buddy, as is the case with this chick you're talking about. Once they find out you're not raking in 100k+ a year, their sexual attraction to you is gone. But from what I understand, those types of gold-diggers are in the minority...most of the time supposedly, a gold-digger will still have sex with you or keep you around as a sex partner, but nothing more.

 

[Overcomer9]

WRONG. If you got to her feelings and emotions and excited her rather than trying to qualify yourself to her, she wouldn't be talking about her ex or asking you questions. She would be telling her girlfriends you are the most fabulous kisser who makes her knees weak.

It all depends how smart you are in talking to her and how well you can change the subject. If you are not smart and absorb everything she throws at you, of course you will be LJBFs. It all depends how witty you respond to her.

If you took her sky diving after she talked about her ex's money, she wouldn't give 2 thoughts about his bmw because she got excited with you. Instead, you tried to qualify yourself to her and played right into the HBs game.

I'm still learning and while I can't say I said all the right things 100% of the time, looking back I can say I personally think I did alright and I'm proud of myself given how bad I used to be. Almost two years ago I wouldn't even approach a girl I liked because I'd fear being turned down, while now I can - I am the overcomer after all.

The examples you laid out I can see where they would be golden, but I don't think it was the case here. Truthfully I did give those types of answers...pretty much early on all the time to keep things interesting and unique. It's why I got a big head initially because it was working so well and on a hot chick too. She seemed to be coming around, was seeking me out, talking to me first, etc. but then I noticed over time while she still enjoyed me being a smart ass, she was pestering me about telling her the truth. I didn't want to appear like a full time clown so I caved and told her thinking it was the logical step. She did not like the answers and probably thought I wasn't in same league as some of the guys she dated. After all if she's used to dating a hot shot like Andy the stockbroker she's not going to give a regular guy like me a chance. She wants to progress, not regress.

I'm pretty sure this is the case because I once overheard her talking to some other classmate about some guy she turned down and how he tried making her feel bad because she only dates "older, richer guys", in which case nothing I could possibly throw at her would convince her otherwise. I didn't talk to her yet at this point because I figured she would've just rolled her eyes at me or walk away like some girls have before when I'd try.

I hope this doesn't sound negative because it's not meant to be. It's honestly what I believe happened. I think I was doomed to fail from the beginning. I don't want to say I was out of her league because I don't really believe in that "league business", but there was no way I was going to succeed with HER because I didn't have the financial means to even be seen on her radar. There was no way i'd be able to take her to all the fancy eateries and rich shopping districts she'd always talk about in Boston and that would've spelled the end of everything because it's what she was accustomed to. On the flip side maybe it's just a reflection of myself and you or someone else from this board would've probably done a lot better, but myself, no;I tried my hardest.

 

[Acq]

Man you disappoint me.
first: the chick is probably a bimbo, living off rich men and is being used by them. I know quite many such girls in real life, and NONE of them is worth MY holy seed or even time. Yes they are attractive but is there anything else in them other attractive body ?

By being rejected you lost NOTHING, its highly unlikely that you could have built up an emotional relationship with someone like her.
However, such girls can be played, if all you want to get fvck her, but its a different story.

Again, she is not worth your emotions/time and your sperm, forget her and move on.