Got the L-bomb for the first time.... by text

[TheMonkeyKing]

She said she didn't want to say it by text.... but did anyway.

Of course I still judge her actions over her words; which are flaky at best. Haven't reacted at all yet. She sent another text about 10 minutes later saying 'Sorry, forget that'. I'm not saying it back because I don't (yet), mainly because I don't trust her.

Would like to hear about similar stories and how others have dealt with the situation.

 

[Fireballs]

My current girlfriend first said the 'L' word via text also.

We had just spent a weekend away and she dropped me off at the train station and as she was seeing me off (I was on the train and could see her on the platform) she texted it. I waited about 20 minutes and as I felt the same I texted it back.

It was funny, on our weekend away there were times where it looked like she was about to say it but held back. Probably waiting for me to say it first lol...

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

It was funny, on our weekend away there were times where it looked like she was about to say it but held back. Probably waiting for me to say it first lol...

Funny you say this as I had the same feeling last time I saw this chick too.

Not really sure how to proceed.

 

[MtnMan]

Not really sure how to proceed.

proceed exactly as you have been. I would continue on like it never happened and see if she actually says it to you in person sometime. Then respond how you want.

Personally, i wouldnt be thrilled with the first utterance of that word being done via text. I would not tell her I loved her back if she just texted it to me, but thats just me.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Dear lord....by text? What would happen if a guy said it first, by text? Holy f*ck she and her girlfriends would all probably be making fun of you for being lame or too clingy or whatever else. In this case if she can't muster up at least a little gumption to say it to your face, forget it. This whole laying out our feelings and emotions via text these days is just ridiculous.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

To be fair, I think it's that time of the month when the pet hamster is being put through the paces.

Not really any excuse though. It was a blatant knee-jerk reaction to my calling out her flakiness (again).

 

[jurry]

When love is said or written, it stops being love and becomes something different. It seems to me more like an admission of vulnerability than anything else, where one person wants to be reassured of the unknown by the other. It sounds like you handled it well.

Theres no reassurance in life, and we should always be vigilant and embracing the uncertainty, rather than trying to protect ourselves or run from it.

That statement is very suspect to me, and I dont think i would want to use it in more than a light hearted, teasing way. Generally the people who are saying i love you the most are the ones with the least of if. Not that i didnt use it with high school/college girlfriends, but i was just a young pup then

 

[Donaldinho]

Her: I love you
You: I know

Boom

 

[Donnie Darko]

Her: I love you
You: Let's just be friends

KABOOM

 

[LMFAO]

The let's be friends line really can work well on women when used right, for example for any last minute resistance from her - you say "you know what let's be friends, you're smart and adorable and I can introduce you to my guy friends". I'm a huge fan of using woman's s**t and throwing it back on them, "I think we should take it slow", "But I don't even know you". Their weapons thrown back at them.

It's so out of bounds from the norm she would see from the beta fags out there, she wouldn't know what to do with herself. :yes:

 

[Redzky]

How sweet, glad you are doing well with your mate.

 

[dasein]

Funny this thread, as I said ILY to a woman in a dream last night. Was not a specific woman from real life either. First time ever. No idea what this means is going on in my subconscious.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

Funny this thread, as I said ILY to a woman in a dream last night. Was not a specific woman from real life either. First time ever. No idea what this means is going on in my subconscious.

Maybe it's your subconscious letting you know you have finally learned to love yourself.
Maybe the female in the dream represents your repressed femininity and your subconscious is letting you know it's ok to embrace it.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Really starting to think I need to put distance between myself and this chick. I have played it OK. But at the end of the day her actions do not really follow what she says.

She 'loves' what I am (independent enough to put up with her flakiness and rarely flake myself). Time for a change of tack. But the desire isn't really there. No one is that 'busy', not for someone they profess to 'love'!

Thanks for the input guys.

 

[dasein]

Maybe the female in the dream represents your repressed femininity and your subconscious is letting you know it's ok to embrace it.

Oh I embraced it alright. One of those "glad I didn't wake up 15 seconds later" dreams.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Update

Monday: told her to come see me asap (I know I should have just told her a specific time).

Reply, Monday evening: 'I don't dare to now. It's not like me this'.

Any further thoughts appreciated...

Haven't responded.

 

[christoff522]

Monday: told her to come see me asap (I know I should have just told her a specific time).

Reply, Monday evening: 'I don't dare to now. It's not like me this'.

Any further thoughts appreciated...

Haven't responded.

"Okay then, we should just be friends"

Or don't respond..its up to you. She's obviously a bit off. It won't work out.