"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Got played by a "good girl", really really pissed...

L

Le Parisien

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Ok, tonight I just learned through a mutual friend that a "good" girl (definitely the non-playerette type) who obviously likes me ALOT and who I like a lot too basically has been hiding the fact that she has a boyfriend the whole time.

We couldn't have made it as bf/gf anyway because of geographic problems (she went to a foreigh country for studies and just got back and I'm about to go home for good in two days).
We both know that there was this chemistry, but the fact that she chose to go out with another guy doesn't really bother me, because of the circumstances.

The thing that's really pissing me off is that she strung me along the whole time. She never said that she doesn't have a boyfriend. But it's always like (like tonight for example) she would cancel things sometimes because of some "emergency" "I really can't make it". Now that I know it was basically because she needed to take care of the boyfriend.

I'm not really pissed by the fact, I'm just feeling like if even "good girls" act like this, maybe I should stop being a "good guy". I'm no "nice guy", and I don't have oneits over her either, it's just that I feel being "betrayed". Because sometimes at certain occasions I needed to "cool down" other girls' interest just so that she won't get jealous. But the whole time, she pretended to be single (at least with me).

I feel like I'm leaning to the cold-hearted jerk side more and more...
:( :mad:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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M

MadeInTheUK

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maybe she didnt tell you about him cuz she was interested in you...
but anyway chalk it up to another experience...

Stop getting ***** whipped...and whip some *****! :D ;)
 
S

squirrels

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Sounds like she may have been interested in a change and didn't tell you about her man to see if you measured up to what she was looking for. And you didn't.

Maybe through no fault of your own. Just let it ride. ;)
 
2

2niceaguy

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Hey man, I know what it's like. Take it as a lesson learned. Turn a real negative into a positive. Use it as motivation to improve your self and to avoid building up feelings for women to early. As my posting name says, I am considered by most people to be a "nice guy." I really can't help it because it was how I was raised but I am by no means a push over or a wimp. I am generally nice to people at first and treat them how the treat me. But if I get pissed off you will know it. I actually am trying to control my anger and emotions better and just learn from things and just laugh at some of the crazy sh*t women and other people do. Good luck man.:cool:
 
C

cannibustacap

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If you feel betrayed, holding the feelings in and making a post about it on the interweb isn't going to solve your woes.

Express the feelings to her, how you feel betrayed and end the relationship. but Express the feelings. Yes some people say "oh its gay, guys need to hold their feelings in. feeling feeling lol gay!"

That is bull****. If you really liked this girl and she betrayed you, tell her it hurt you that she let you on and you forgive her. She doesn't even have to say anything, she can even act snobbish and evil. Doesn't matter, for your own good just do those two things and move on. Learn from the mistake.

If you hold in these feelings of betrayal, it could loom up again more easily in future relationships. You need Closure.

Read "Radical Honesty"

It is a great book and talks about this very stuff right here. So let this girl know she made you mad, then forgive her, then move on. Don't let the feelings get suppressed. It WILL haunt you and your next relationship or who knows.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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L

Le Parisien

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Thanks for your replies guys.
I'm not mad, there was no "feelings", it's NOT a Oneitis.

I repeat, we both knew that a bf/gf relationship was not possible because of the bad timing, and it didn't stop me from seeing other girls either.

Basically she acted like one of those hoes we guys all know TOO well who are "off the market" but who still did everything possible to appear single.

I felt that my "trust" was betrayed, basically in a way she lied.
:rolleyes:
 
M

MindOverMatter

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This is pretty much why I gave up on monogamy and actual relationships. The way this world is set up, if you're not the one playing them, they're the ones playing you. Once I realized this, there was no way I could go back.

edit - also there is no such thing as a good girl, or a nice guy. everyone has an agenda.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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