Got my first "I don't know" shutdown.

[Daddy The Pimp]

Openers dont mean sh1t . You can talk gibberish to the girl and still get her interested in you . Its all about body language , vocal projection and your confidence . But keep practicing , and with time youll be able to open with anything . I hope that " I DONT KNOW " response didnt affect or scare you .

Respect for approaching

 

[Asteconn]

I've absorbed the advice that you speak to them as if you've known them forever. It seems to work brilliantly. I would have asked something about the music she had on, or what her workout was, or soemthing like that.

 

[daygameguy]

I didn't scare or affect me. I wasn't playing the game for quite some time so I was a bit rusty. So I learned some lessons and am ready to move on.

Good replies btw. Thanks. I agree with all the common thoughts expressed here.



PS: I've successfully opened girls on treadmills (No IPod though) with similar opinion openers. So I guess its not ALL about the opener. My vibe was much better then.

 

[Poise]

True...but here's another possiblity which I choose to think because it's most empowering for me:

Maybe she's intimidated by me.

Or maybe she thinks you're a tool. If you go up to a girl, she gives you a disinterested look and a quick closed answer, then turns away she's not intimidated by you.

If she had any initial interest in you whether intimidated or not, you could have already seen when she looked at you (pupils), and her other body language (shoulders, hair, smile). You can choose to be delusional. It really doesn't matter in the long run, same result, you just feel a bit better about yourself.

Depending on where you are, that line would be good and funny or terrible and cliche. Don't use it if everyone uses it all the time. I hear it at least twice a day where I live and at even then its about 3 years old. So, I would never use it, your results may vary.

That and he's not actually gay, so you add an un-necessary obstacle to the approach. Now you've got to say, "Oh I was just joking I'm not really gay." Oh, so you only said that because you wanted to be weird and pretend to be gay to get close to her? Not creepy at all.

 

[MetalFortress]

You win some, you lose some. You lost one, but that doesn't mean you'll lose em all, so keep plugging away.

 

[Duffdog]

OK, so check this out.

I was just at the gym and decided to try out the guidelines that Espi wrote about. I have been eyeing this petite but very buff and athletic dark haired girl-- id say an hb8 for about the last week. Every time I am there, she is there, but I really didn't want to use a line. So, tonight I decided that I would do a totally balls-out cold approach based on the fact that I thought she could be a tri-athlete.

so, thats what I said. It wasn't super cool or anything, I walked right toward her, smiled and asked if she was a tri-athlete. Surprisingly, she started volunteering all sorts of cool information. She goes to sac state, a cheerleader, she has always wanted to do competitions etc, etc... very receptive in short. This is good, because I go to the gym everyday and I am pretty sure that she will be there too.

I think that all it took was full determination and confidence, which I displayed when I went right for her and didn't have a second thought.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Hey buddy...most likely had nothing to do with u, but could've been her. Its not always us, its them sometimes. She could've been in a non so good mood, could've broken up with her bf, her cat died, her stressed out/etc. We never completely know. But After she put her headphones on, u probablly could've persisted and kept talking as if her putting her headphones back on didn't happen. Also...direct might've been good with her for this situation. She prolly would've reacted better. Something she doesn't expect but wants to hear deep down I say this because sometimes when i did normal conversation with a girl she'd act neutral, then i decided to reveal by revealing my intent/letting them know i want to meet them cuz they're cute...etc...and they're whole demeanor would change...was funny....

 

[daygameguy]

I am over and past that. I wasn't shocked just curious as to why she would behave the way she did. Well I got my lessons and thanks for your inputs!

Day game is more casual and slow.

Mehow's natural vibing style is sometimes great for opening up people:

Go in casual, ask a bunch of open-ended questions, make some value-added statements, build some rapport, and use teasing to fill in the attraction part.

I wasn't friendly, I wasn't casual, and I needed an answer (basically) for a weird question. :nono:

 

[2.0]

Don't take it personally. A girl wears headphones because she doesn't want to be disturbed... by anyone. She uses them to block out the outside world. Girls wearing headphones will typically not be receptive to guys trying to hit on them.

 

[DonGorgon]

She did not choose you... if she did she would have given a long answer then asked why you want to know...

 

[DonGorgon]

OK, so check this out.

I was just at the gym and decided to try out the guidelines that Espi wrote about. I have been eyeing this petite but very buff and athletic dark haired girl-- id say an hb8 for about the last week. Every time I am there, she is there, but I really didn't want to use a line. So, tonight I decided that I would do a totally balls-out cold approach based on the fact that I thought she could be a tri-athlete.

so, thats what I said. It wasn't super cool or anything, I walked right toward her, smiled and asked if she was a tri-athlete. Surprisingly, she started volunteering all sorts of cool information. She goes to sac state, a cheerleader, she has always wanted to do competitions etc, etc... very receptive in short. This is good, because I go to the gym everyday and I am pretty sure that she will be there too.

I think that all it took was full determination and confidence, which I displayed when I went right for her and didn't have a second thought.

She is already physically attracted to you.. hence her willingness to blabber on.

 

[Duffdog]

She is already physically attracted to you.. hence her willingness to blabber on.

Im curious. What makes you say she is physically attracted? I haven't said a single word to her before this interaction.

 

[DonGorgon]

Im curious. What makes you say she is physically attracted? I haven't said a single word to her before this interaction.

physical means you would not have to say a word.. its about looks not mind.. Young hot women tend to be very superficial and your looks make or break the deal no matter how mentally advanced you are..

 

[saber]

to the op

you might have done more daygame so take this with a grain of salt

the first approach was wrong for a few reasons

the line was an obvious pick up attempt and way out of left field

what did you expect her to do??? stop her exercise and chit chat

in my humble opinion

daygame should be direct as night game just a whole lot slower

you need to go direct and casual

for example

when you run into her smile and say hi...if she responds well
maybee say something like

i like your gym attire :wait for response: reminds me of the 80's :hopefully she laughs: oh your probably too young to remember the 80's

basically just bvll****ting with her... just chit chat, drop some innuendos maybe

the one espi suggested is also good because its just pointless convo that lets you flirt a little

I might not even number close if i was gonna see her again..you can decide

if the first convo went well maybe next time you see her you can give a kind of sexy whistle and wave hi as she walks around the gym

then the third time you see her invite her out

 

[saber]

double

 

[daygameguy]

to the op

you might have done more daygame so take this with a grain of salt

the first approach was wrong for a few reasons

the line was an obvious pick up attempt and way out of left field

what did you expect her to do??? stop her exercise and chit chat

in my humble opinion

daygame should be direct as night game just a whole lot slower

you need to go direct and casual

for example

when you run into her smile and say hi...if she responds well
maybee say something like

i like your gym attire :wait for response: reminds me of the 80's :hopefully she laughs: oh your probably too young to remember the 80's

basically just bvll****ting with her... just chit chat, drop some innuendos maybe

the one espi suggested is also good because its just pointless convo that lets you flirt a little

I might not even number close if i was gonna see her again..you can decide

if the first convo went well maybe next time you see her you can give a kind of sexy whistle and wave hi as she walks around the gym

then the third time you see her invite her out

There was girl next to me in the computer lab. She was typing out an assignment. I looked at her fingers moving like a jet, and said "WOW... how fast do you type!" and she started smiling and qualifying and giving reasons like "oh no actually i have a deadline to meet.. ".

I'm usually pretty cool and casual in day game. I think my weird AFC self took over that day. I hadn't approached anyone for like 2 weeks!

I agree with you. Keep it simpler and more casual and slower than night game.

By the way, to actually think of it,

If some one asked me the same question in a gym "how long should a guy wait before dating a girl's roommate?" and then started at me waiting for my reaction.. that pretty needy and creepy..

I've used similar opinion openers on treadmills, but with a non-needy fun and BS kinda vibe...so they know i'm just a fun person.. then they react positively.

 

[SharinganUser]

I worked at a gym before. I can tell you you were shut down before you even made the approach.

She was there to work out. Not get hit on. Women that wear headphones while working out generally don't want to get disturbed.

If she was wearing a matching outfit (like a pink jump suit). Or was wearing make up, then you'd have a better chance.

You gotta learn to spot the ones that are there to work out and the ones that are there for the social reasons.

 

[daygameguy]

I worked at a gym before. I can tell you you were shut down before you even made the approach.

She was there to work out. Not get hit on. Women that wear headphones while working out generally don't want to get disturbed.

If she was wearing a matching outfit (like a pink jump suit). Or was wearing make up, then you'd have a better chance.

You gotta learn to spot the ones that are there to work out and the ones that are there for the social reasons.

Most of the girls wear headphones. The ones that don't have some girlfriend as company for their workout.

But yes, some look a little bored with their workout...you can approach them and lighten up their day.

The girl I opened was really into her workout, she was workout out very fast, and maybe too much focused on the TV as well.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

I worked at a gym before. I can tell you you were shut down before you even made the approach.

She was there to work out. Not get hit on. Women that wear headphones while working out generally don't want to get disturbed.

If she was wearing a matching outfit (like a pink jump suit). Or was wearing make up, then you'd have a better chance.

You gotta learn to spot the ones that are there to work out and the ones that are there for the social reasons.

Dude, quit it. He was NOT shut down. Stop making it seem worse than it really is. It was just initial resistence. If she said, "No"...then yes...but she didn't reject him. Who cares if she's there to work out, him direct approaching her would make it that much more effective, since she doesn't expect it, would deep down like it, plus she's not all dolled up. Wen u said "GENERALLY" don't want to be disturbed, some want to give that impression but it DOESN'T mean that they don't want to be approached.

And approaching her if she was more dolled up? From my experience....her getting seduced when she's not prepping up would've had her more intrigued EVEN more because she can still feel sexy wearing normal stuff. Its funny, one girl at a party after i was teasing her about something with her outfit in an insecure argumentive manner, she's like, "You wouldn't like how i look if i wasn't wearing this!" then i told her, "Bull**** ....the best girls are the ones who look good even when they don't have to prep themselves...and who says i wouldn't want to talk to u if u were just wearing sweats? I haven't u wear them yet so how could u be so sure? " Shes shocked of what i said.

So SharinganUser, if he was more to the point she could've responded better. BUT remember, he was rusty.

But Saber, wat u mentioned wasn't quite direct....it was i'd say semi-direct since ur just mentioning her clothes rather than her overall looks/attractiveness...but if u mentioned with her looks...then yea...it would've been..eventho wat u said was still good ;-)

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Most of the girls wear headphones. The ones that don't have some girlfriend as company for their workout.

But yes, some look a little bored with their workout...you can approach them and lighten up their day.

The girl I opened was really into her workout, she was workout out very fast, and maybe too much focused on the TV as well.

Daygameguy...agreeed. Yea, if a girl is working out VERY Fast...then its prolly best to meet her when she takes a break or walking to something else. When she reacted that way, she was probably distracted hence why she responded in a manner that seemed of disinterest, she was most likely out of it.