Got my first "I don't know" shutdown.

[daygameguy]

She was in my gym, on the stepper watching the mini TV with headphones on.

I walked in the gym, noticed her, went right next to her, and started using the stepper next to her.

I switched on the TV, and tapped her on her forearm, and looked at her, and said - "I need to ask you a quick question", she took headphones off, I said - "How long do think a guy should wait before dating a girl's roommate."

She said "I don't know" and put her headphones back on and started watching TV again.

The girl next to her was watching this. I simply remained unreactive and went on with my workout.
--------------------------------------------

My analysis of this - possible reasons:
1. Vibe wasn't friendly.
2. Not smiling.
3. Opener too weird for the situation. My first time with this opener. Was on my mind so wanted to try it after watching the lovesystems video.
4. I wasn't looking my best.

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I am starting to really fear that this opinion opener thing is exposed and Outdated. Tell me this is not true! I can do without it but I love opinion openers (

 

[Perfect10]

Crappy opener, crappy results but try again next time!

 

[daygameguy]

Crappy opener, crappy results but try again next time!

The opener is good in a high stimulus club type environment, with a wing, or on a group. I think it was totally awkward for this situation.

Well, it was my first time experimenting with this opener, so at least I learned something.

 

[Perfect10]

That's the spirit DGG. Mabye a bit more casual next time?

 

[daygameguy]

you're right. Day game is all about being more casual and taking it slow. Doesn't mean you have to be boring, just more casual.

By the way, I also realized - I delivered the opener like a scripted line and I was waiting for her reaction. WRONG. - I should have rooted the opener and kept on talking casually (90-10 rule) and smiling (which i wasn't) and she would have opened up."

 

[Poise]

I switched on the TV, and tapped her on her forearm, and looked at her, and said - "I need to ask you a quick question", she took headphones off, I said - "How long do think a guy should wait before dating a girl's roommate."

Why didn't you just walk up and when she turns to look at you smile and say, "What's up?" (like you're just doing it because it's the socially polite thing to do - and in which she'll smile or go, "hey"). Then turn on the TV to MTV or something and be like, "I hope they play the new Britney song, I love that song." And she'll probably react, if not then go on with your work out. Chances are the next time you'll see her she'll say "What's up" to you and you can start talking.

You know, be confident and funny?

The girl was probably thinking, "WTF?" You probably would have been better off asking her for change for the Gatorade machine.

 

[daygameguy]

yup.. but she had headphones on, so small talk would not have worked. Secondly, she wasn't looking at me when I entered her peripheral vision. So, I had to forcefully get her attention.

 

[Igetit!]

you're right. Day game is all about being more casual and taking it slow. Doesn't mean you have to be boring, just more casual.

By the way, I also realized - I delivered the opener like a scripted line and I was waiting for her reaction. WRONG. - I should have rooted the opener and kept on talking casually (90-10 rule) and smiling (which i wasn't) and she would have opened up."

I hate,hate getting "I don't know" responses from women. I absolutely hate it. Man,I'd rather she just say no,at least then I'd have more respect for her. Indecision from a woman just makes me lose interest for some reason. I've made this error you just described like a million times,where you ask a question,then wait for her response instead of continuing to speak immediately after the opener.

What usually happens is there's a moment of silence,then an awkward pause.
Then things just seem kind of off track. Man,I did that for years,but at least I now know how to fix it.

To me,a woman saying "I don't know" is equal to saying no. It might as well be,because once I hear it,I no longer have interest in her.

 

[Duffdog]

"I don't know" does not mean she doesn't know. It means she doesn't want to take the time to explain it to you or feel the need to indulge you.

Keep in mind that people on treadmills with earphones might not want to be bothered. You could always go to the other side of the gym with the wieghts and find a girl without earphones.

My favorite opener at the gym is when a girl is working with wieghts doing some wierd excercise. I typically stop and ask her "what does that do?, I've never seen anyone do that before" I sometimes think that girls do wierd stuff like that so they will attract attention from guys who will ask them what they are doing or offer help.

 

[daygameguy]

I hate,hate getting "I don't know" responses from women. I absolutely hate it. Man,I'd rather she just say no,at least then I'd have more respect for her. Indecision from a woman just makes me lose interest for some reason. I've made this error you just described like a million times,where you ask a question,then wait for her response instead of continuing to speak immediately after the opener.

What usually happens is there's a moment of silence,then an awkward pause.
Then things just seem kind of off track. Man,I did that for years,but at least I now know how to fix it.

To me,a woman saying "I don't know" is equal to saying no. It might as well be,because once I hear it,I no longer have interest in her.

Yeah, I was like So pissed when she said "I don't know". It wasn't like "I don't know" (actually confused tone) OR "Oh, I don't know, sorry" (like she is busy tone).. It was like "I don't know" (You have no value for me tone).

LOL anyway fvck that. I opened my mouth at least.. so no regrets there.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

I would of just not even opened...situation is too wack .

But if I had the balls I would have just went with a David D ****y / funny opinion opener, like maybe say "I'm stronger than you" and be very sarcastic and funny about it.

 

[daygameguy]

My favorite opener at the gym is when a girl is working with wieghts doing some wierd excercise. I typically stop and ask her "what does that do?, I've never seen anyone do that before" I sometimes think that girls do wierd stuff like that so they will attract attention from guys who will ask them what they are doing or offer help.

I agree. That's the best we can do in a gym environment I suppose.

I think I took my "Any girl, Any where, Any time" rule a little too far.

Sometimes you just gotta be socially aware and let people be. I mean if you think a set is really bad (not very socially approachable) - you should let it go.. or if the set doesn't respond well then better move on.

 

[daygameguy]

I would of just not even opened...situation is too wack .

But if I had the balls I would have just went with a David D ****y / funny opinion opener, like maybe say "I'm stronger than you" and be very sarcastic and funny about it.

I agree. But again, she wasn't using weights, she was on the stepper (i dunno if thats the correct name for it)... maybe she was too absorbed by the TV show that she was watching.. maybe she didnt want to be opened or disturbed at all. She was an HB 7.5 but I guess some girls don't like being very social.

sometimes its better to NOT open. I mean I could stop girls on their bikes and pick them up, but you know, its better NOT to. Any girl Any time Any where - is not really ANY girl ANY time ANY where .. lol I don't even know if that makes any sense.

 

[Poise]

yup.. but she had headphones on, so small talk would not have worked. Secondly, she wasn't looking at me when I entered her peripheral vision. So, I had to forcefully get her attention.

If she didn't even look at you then her interest in you was 0. If you had to force an opener (I don't know why you would though since from her body language she doesn't seem either open to you or ready to socialize) then you ask her, "How do you set the speed on this to light jog? Sorry, I usually run at the track I don't want to fly off this thing."

She'll help you (if she doesn't she'll be breaking huge social norms). You gauge her body language, and then you go about doing what you were doing.

Forget the weird opinion openers, there are way easier ways to do this. Watch this guy do day game, all he really does is ask for direction. It always elicits a polite reaction then you can just follow up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj5D2i2O9D0&feature=related

(Skip the 1st minute it's unrelated to what I'm talking about)

 

[daygameguy]

I agree with you and the video.

I know there are better ways to open conversation. I know all that. I was still wanting to analyze this specific case, why would she say "I Don't Know" and shut me down.

Maybe it was a combination of not smiling low vibe reaction-seeking and bad opener.

 

[Poise]

I agree with you and the video.

I know there are better ways to open conversation. I know all that. I was still wanting to analyze this specific case, why would she say "I Don't Know" and shut me down.

Maybe it was a combination of not smiling low vibe reaction-seeking and bad opener.

Another misconception in the community not every girl will be attracted to you.

Take a random selection of 100 women from 20-35 (assuming that's your age range).

How many of them will be single? Not every one. Some will have boyfriends (likely if they're attractive), some will even be married, 1 could possibly be gay, a couple could be in really bad moods, and a few just won't like you for whatever reason (you're not their type etc.).

The best thing to do is remember that: Not everyone will like you.

The quicker you get that the easier it all gets. A couple years ago me and my friend didn't get this and when we went out to pick-up I'd be high pressure, and we'd get shattered after rejections with that whole, "What did I do wrong?" attitude. A girl actually told me once with this girl a few months back when I was planning to approach this girl I was really into at a cafe, "You're going to screw up because you're putting so much pressure on yourself." You know what? I screwed up because I went in with this weak, "She's got to like me. It's got to be perfect, it's on me" attitude like I was entering war or something.

Not everyone is interested. Not everyone will like you.

 

[Duffdog]

I'm not gonna talk long 'cause I have to finish my workout, but I just want you to know that if I were not gay, you'd be soooo mine."

Hmm...

Depending on where you are, that line would be good and funny or terrible and cliche. Don't use it if everyone uses it all the time. I hear it at least twice a day where I live and at even then its about 3 years old. So, I would never use it, your results may vary.

 

[Duffdog]

Espi, do you know any other gym openers? I want to try one today, you probably know some good ones that I don't.

 

[f283000]

Don't open girls talking on cell phones or with headphones on, simple as that.

 

[DonJuan11]

She was in my gym, on the stepper watching the mini TV with headphones on.

I walked in the gym, noticed her, went right next to her, and started using the stepper next to her.

I switched on the TV, and tapped her on her forearm, and looked at her, and said - "I need to ask you a quick question", she took headphones off, I said - "How long do think a guy should wait before dating a girl's roommate."

She said "I don't know" and put her headphones back on and started watching TV again.

The girl next to her was watching this. I simply remained unreactive and went on with my workout.
--------------------------------------------

My analysis of this - possible reasons:
1. Vibe wasn't friendly.
2. Not smiling.
3. Opener too weird for the situation. My first time with this opener. Was on my mind so wanted to try it after watching the lovesystems video.
4. I wasn't looking my best.

----------------------------------------------

I am starting to really fear that this opinion opener thing is exposed and Outdated. Tell me this is not true! I can do without it but I love opinion openers (

You hit it with number 3. You have to pay attention when you pick your targets. This girl is exercising with her headphones on and does not want to be disturbed. You come in there while she is working out and ask a question that has nothing to do with her. If it was me, I wouldn't have even responded.

You have to build rapport, find something in common, ask her name, ask what she likes to do. I don't know what you were expecting, but "How do you think a guy should wait" does not give a response of "Two weeks, lets make love passionately" by any girl.