"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Got my first hookup action, but I have a question.

ThatGuyOverThere

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Before yesterday, I had never kissed a girl in my life (unless you count spin the bottle many years ago) and I've never had a girlfriend (unless you count 11-year-old relationships). I've always been a big ***** when it comes to making a move, whether it's asking a girl out or going in for the kiss. There's been a few girls I've tried to pursue the past few months but with no success.

Well, last night a bunch of us went to an empty house to drink. While everyone else was using alcohol to hook up with each other, it looked like I was going to be the only sober one there. Fortunately, this one girl who was hanging out with us for the first time also didn't drink (She was about a 7.5-8. Cute face, nice body, very nice boobs). I had seen her around school and talked to her maybe once, but this was the first time I had hung out with her.

She almost made it too easy. From the beginning she was giving me lots of eye contact and smiles, and she became very touchy-feely. There were a few times I felt I should have kissed her but other people were around or I got nervous. At the end of the night, when nearly everyone was asleep, I got her alone and kissed her good night on the lips. I was content with that for my first hook-up and went upstairs to one of the bedrooms. I lie down to sleep and am startled to see her walk into the room and sit on the bed. She lies down next to me and we start a make-out session. After a few minutes, I wanted to do more so I decided to test the waters by putting my hand under her shirt. I inched slowly upwards and when I received no resistance I went all the way. Feeling pretty bold now, I tried to make a move downstairs but she pushed my hand away. 2nd base was as far as I got. We ended up just making out for a while and talked for an hour or so before she fell asleep in my arms. The best part about this other than the fact that it was so unexpected was that we were both completely sober.

Now here is where my question comes in. She fell asleep but I was way too wound up to sleep. I ended up getting zero sleep because she blue-balled the **** out of me and it was too painful. I would have left and gone to the bathroom but she looked so peaceful and adorable sleeping on me that I left it alone. While we were hooking up, I was hoping she'd make a move herself and a few times I thought she was going to because she was feeling my stomach so much. I didn't want to just whip it out or force the issue so I left it alone. How do you make a girl go for it if she isn't doing it herself? It was my first action of any kind so I'm very much a noob when it comes to stuff like this. I also forgot how much blue balls sucks.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Kid Style

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First off, let me say I've been in this situation plenty of times (and sometimes, I still do with new girls I meet) where I am not sure if the girl I am making out with on a couch, bed, ect. really wants to have sex. So I'll just add some tips that may work. Any thoughts or replies are encouraged.

Have a mental confidence that you are going all the way with her. This will help you be in control and may ease her security in sex. Basically dont ask questions if something you are doing is ok, just do it. Now you can ask her if something you are doing feels good to her...a little different.

Take it slow. You reached her breasts but you may have went downstairs too soon. Try rubbing against her thighs with your knees or something, then move your hand around her inner thighs but don't go to the zone. Start kissing around her breasts, ect. Foreplay will make her feel relaxed so do plenty.

If you are still unsure is if she is willing for sex, just tell her what you are going to do like "I'm going to start unbuttoning your pants now" or something like that. If she says "no, I'm not ready"...whatever...then you have a clear indication she is not ready to go that far. Then just play it cool and continue making out.

BTW, I know how it feels to have a long er3ction while you are laying there! It sux.
 

Credos

Master Don Juan
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San Jose California said:
WOW, that is an exact description of a hookup I had kind of recently. It was also the first time I touched boobs. Except she didn't fall asleep in my arms and it was in the back seat of a car lol. Also I was sober but I told her I was drunk.

To get a girl to make a move do this: when you're smoking a cigarette with her, you say "wanna see a cool trick?". Then tell her to take a hit of the cigarette, hold it, then blow it out, into your mouth, pointing to your mouth. I have tried that once and it worked for me.
:down:
 

ThatGuyOverThere

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Wow, this has turned out much differently than I expected. So since we fell asleep in the same bed that night, everyone else who was there saw us together. Well, my friend started telling everyone, including my younger brother. This is significant because the girl is the same age as my brother (16) and I get the feeling that he likes her. He confronted her about it with like ten of his friends (they were all hanging out at the same house). They all ganged up on her and gave her **** about it, calling her slutty and stuff. Well I receive a text from her accusing me of spreading what happened, so of course I'm getting really bad vibes and doubting that I'll ever see her again.

But on Independence Day, I had a long talk with her over the phone and I got the feeling that she thought we were together (I originally thought it was just a random hookup). I had already made plans days earlier with friends, so my family left me behind when they went off to watch fireworks for the night. This meant I had the house to myself for several hours, and I was waiting for my friends to get off work. So I called her up, asked what she was doing to celebrate the day, picked her up and we went back to my house. We spent a lot of time on my couch and also jumped on my trampoline (making out there was awesome). Nothing more happened than last time, but I didn't mind because it was so spontaneous. When my friends called, I dropped her off and went out. About ten minutes later I got a text from her saying "I'll bet you miss me already."

Because of all the BS that happened last time word got out about us hooking up, I want to keep this thing a secret from my family and most of my friends. I've told two of my best friends and no one else. There are a few problems, however.

First, having the house to myself was a stroke of good fortune. There are nine people in my family, and six in hers, so it's going to be rare to have empty houses to go to. I'm going to have to be creative in finding ways and time to see her.

Second, I have no idea what it is exactly that we have. I don't know if we're just a fling or boyfriend and girlfriend. We both like each other and are hooking up, so I'm not going to worry about it unless she brings it up. I'm leaving for college in two months, so this is just going to be brief and fun. Anyway, I called her yesterday and we're doing something today for a few hours in the late afternoon (I'm hanging out with friends later). My idea was to take a walk in a park for a while and just talk and chill before going to the restaurant I work at for dinner. Since I'm still unsure of our "status" is this date-type thing a bad idea? I'm trying to gauge whether she would to like do things couples do or if she just wants to hookup in private (which wouldn't be such a bad thing I guess :D). Even though we've really only seen each other a few times, I've never felt so comfortable with a woman in my life, and it's never awkward. While hooking up, we can go in and out of conversation like nothing happened, and there are no awkward silences afterward. I don't know what it is, but I feel different when I'm with her. With friends, it'd be laughable to suggest I'm the alpha of the group, but with her I'm able to take charge without a problem. Plus she has joked about us having sex several times, which I take as a very good sign.
 

AKA FLEX

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San Jose California said:
WOW, that is an exact description of a hookup I had kind of recently. It was also the first time I touched boobs. Except she didn't fall asleep in my arms and it was in the back seat of a car lol. Also I was sober but I told her I was drunk.

To get a girl to make a move do this: when you're smoking a cigarette with her, you say "wanna see a cool trick?" ( I do not remember what I said here). Then tell her to take a hit of the cigarette, hold it, then blow it out, into your mouth, pointing to your mouth. I have tried that once and it worked for me. ok I apologize, here is the actual way to do it http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=143975&highlight=cigarette

then you pull away and say "good, now let's try it without the smoke!", I have not tried this however.
That is NASTY. I hope you are joking.

As for the OP's situation, you don't really need to try to get her to make a move. You're the man, that's your job. Obviously she wasn't ready for third base on your first hook-up, but that doesn't mean she won't be next time, or the next.

Keep trying until you succeed, but respect her boundaries when she says no. You'll get there!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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