"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Got LJBF'd but still getting something more

joker79

Senior Don Juan
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Hey guys, here the problem: got ljbf'd by a "confused" girl, acted a little bit upset, nervous and beta but recovered partially acting cool later and withdrawing attention. She noticed it and gave me opportunity again for some drinks. Kissed her again, she tried to resist but i did it easily and we had a nice evening (not sex unfortunately). Some nice texting later during the week but now she disappeared suddenly during the weekend mentioning some plans she had and preventing me to invite her out. It's not the first time that she's completely unavailable during the weekend. everytime the situation is contradictory - she wants to stay "friends" but kisses me and likes what i do/say - she mentions the fact that we agreed to wait until she clarifies herself (bul***** , "just got out from a relationship" bla bla bla). This is true and was my fault, haven't been able to recover from this since she ljbf'd me.
Now, think it's just a waste of time and there's some A guy, probably I'm in the backburner considering her actions and not her words. Unfortunately she a coworker so I can't ignore her but it's quite easy for me to break the wall of "being friends" and get something more when I withdraw attention. Thing is that I can't get what I want, that is coherent behaviour from her and stable attention from her. It's like being in a rollercoaster since she ljbf'd me but i see in her eyes that she likes me. Probably low interest/low attraction and when the A guy will come in, I'll be whiped out? don't know. Any opinion to help my clarify the situation? My idea now is to move on as I'm not getting what I want and ignore her if she attempts to get attention. What shall I do when she tries to "regain power"?

cheers bros
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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dap

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Two things. You will probably ignore #1:

1. Don't date co-workers. When things inevitably don't work out, you will have to bear being around that person all day every day and it will be miserable. Plus it could hurt your work reputation and make you perform worse.

2. Judge girls by their actions, not their words. If she lgbfs you and she still initiates texts, lets you flirt/kino/kiss, etc then keep pressing forward IMO. If she is holding out (in action), however, I would go NC and see if she initiates contact. If not, move on.
 

TheWolfMan

Don Juan
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I wouldn't go NC, just withdraw your attention a little bit. Also spin more plates, if she knows that you are talking to other girls i bet it will improve your chances. If she gets upset or questions it you can just be like "Well I thought we were just friends right?" and then go from there or something. She will either drop the act and be all over you, or she won't in which case you will have other plates already available.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

Master Don Juan
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You need to drop her completely. She is not interested. Girls like her only come into your life long enough to get attention and then they see you like sh1t. I have even had a pathetic girl so hungry for attention, that she INITIATED and came back into my life simply for attention.

At first I bit, but the experienced part of me caught onto the ruse quickly and I threw her out of my life again.

It doesn't matter if she is a coworker or not. Just drop her. Treat her in an aloof/distant manner without being offensive.
 
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