got knocked on my ass by an AMOG. what should I learn from this?

[MascaraSnake]

my main virtue with dating is that I have a lot of gall and go after women that appear to be out of my league. chumps with no self-confidence look at me like I'm a ladies' man, but my kryptonite is being around actual alphas.

I'm in a political org on campus - it almost goes without saying that I'm usually surrounded by socially awkward men, so I tend to have an advantage with the women in it. An alpha came with us in the car this time, though. Long story short, it was near-certain that he was going to hook up with Girl 1. I worked on Girl 2 the entire way over, she laughed at all of my jokes, and was generally receptive to my advances. (the other guy in the car might as well have been chopped liver.)

Girl 1 disappeared after speeches, and our AMOG effortlessly switched to Girl 2 - irritating me, since I'd already had dibs on her (in my mind). Constant and very, very aggressive kino from him, far more so than what I did. She promptly forgot about me, gave him tips about going after a third girl he liked, and he practically hooked up with her in front of me when I was drinking with them later. (Girl 1 was livid at the last minute switch - as you can imagine, that was a long car ride back.)

I felt extremely angry as soon as I got back, as one of my greatest character flaws is not being able to stand other roosters in my coop. (Sometimes I intentionally hang out with losers to puff myself up.) This guy ran rings around me and barely even tried. Now that a day has gone by, I don't fault him for it...I would have done the same in his situation and loved every minute of it.

"Get over yourself" is obviously what I need to do here, but should I just pick better male acquaintances? I hang out with so many losers, I think I genuinely didn't see this AMOG coming and got knocked on my ass. I don't want it happening again. ever

 

[SmooveMooves]

Become as alpha and as confident as he was. Why limit yourself to the constraint of your perceived alphaness in retrospect of the other dudes?

Work on your game til it doesn't matter which group of guys you surround yourself with. Everywhere you go you should be the top alpha or damn near close.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Do not compare yourself to others, lest you become vain or bitter,
For there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

 

[mangotot]

Hang out with this dude more often so you can learn from him. You are not going to learn much by hanging out with socially awkward men where you are a big fish in a small pond. There an ocean out there away from where you are playing your game.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Befriend him. The best way to disarm a guy like that, as long as he isn't being a blatant ******* towards you and insulting you, is to make friends with him. Similar to how, if you want to approach a group with two girls and a guy...it's NEVER a good idea to just start hitting on a girl. Then there's this tension between you two, and you're seen as an intruder in the group and you and the guy don't talk, so naturally he's going to run circles around you. If you simply introduce yourself, shake his hand and ask him how his evening is going, then he immediately respects you.

If you had simply befriended him earlier in the evening then you've almost completely disarmed him as an obstacle. Both because, if he's a half-decent guy, it's harder for him to take "your girl" when he's met you and gotten a beer with you, and also because you two, as the alpha males can now team up and basically wing each other. Also, when you befriend the top dogs in a group (the men), the women immediately gain attraction for you, especially if you two, as the two strong, charismatic men, are surrounded by weaker men. You are the leaders of that group.

You can smolder in anger and pout as you watch him take the girl you were after, or you can be proactive and assert yourself in a smart yet not aggressive way.

Oh and another thing worth mentioning. THERE ARE NO DIBS unless you are winging with a close friend. Alpha males are not going to give you the common courtesy of 'getting out of the way' when they see you've been lightly flirting with a girl that they think is hot. Weak betas will do that because it's the 'nice' thing to do... but sex is competitive and it's dog eat dog. If you can't beat them, join them, and then maybe girl #2 will be setting you up with a hot girl at the bar. Besides, this is some random chick you likely just met. There's dozens of other hot girls at any given bar, you should be out talking to other girls.

And also, who knows? Maybe this guy could be your new close friend and teach you some stuff. Which is alot more valuable in the long run than some chick who probably sucks in bed anyway..

 

[Fugitive]

Stop hanging out with losers for a start. I can picture how you're a deer caught in the headlights every time another Alpha enters the frame because you're not used to ever coming in contact with them. Start hanging out with Alpha's and you might learn a thing or two.

Secondly once you're in that position of another Alpha moving on you're girl there are 2 ways to go. One way as Gravity has said is befriend him, keep your friends close and enemies closer. The alternative way is to go to war. That doesn't mean punch him in the face but that means not letting him take your spot. Go up to Girl 2 and Alpha while they are talking and tell him that Girl 1 is looking for him outside, he falls for it by the time he comes back he's done as Girl 2 would feel abandoned by him. You could nail it home while he's gone by pressing home the point to Girl 2 that Alpha guy is all over Girl 1 and has been all through car journey. Women are great at assessing mating options. She'll bump him if he came back. You may even get brownie points for looking out for her. Just a scenario there may work differently in reality but the idea is that you seize the upper hand by any means necessary.

 

[MascaraSnake]

thanks for the insight and moral support guys. when you're a recovering AFC like me, you try to stamp out any waify beta behavior and I'm making a valiant effort right now.

me and Mr. AMOG actually have quite a bit in common, we're Facebook friends now, and chatted on there for about 45 minutes last night. funny how things turn out sometimes. this jealousy ended up getting me a new friend.

 

[VladPatton]

I agree, befriend him. Run with wolves and you'll soon begin to howl.

 

[MascaraSnake]

That guy probably saw you as a beta and that's why he ran circles around you.
Just don't even think about it next time.

We're going to the final conference of the year next Friday/Saturday. Girl 1 (the pissed off jilted one) has gone out of her way to ask me if I'm going to join them. I did talk to her quite a bit on the car ride back, and she thinks I'm hilarious. to be perfectly frank - I'd buy that for a dollar.

This also happens to be the same night that an acquaintance of mine - that our AMOG likes - has a wind ensemble concert that he's thinking about attending. he isn't sure if she likes him back and is hesitant to miss the conference on a gamble. I've more or less told him "she has a high opinion of you - just go". I'm not really that sure.

why I exaggerated is for obvious reasons - I'm moving in on Girl 1, or at least considering it. is this behavior to be avoided? him being gone obviously puts me at an advantage, but should I directly compete with him instead of subtly making sure he's not there to upstage me?

 

[Fugitive]

Fugitive, that second scenario sounds extremely b!tch-like. Basically you're lying and making him look like an idiot because he's better at gaming then you? No. No. No!

Who's gives a f*ck what he looks like. It's about winning and getting the girl not worrying about how the other guy looks. Also it's a scenario in real-life a better opportunity may present itself but if it doesn't then you cannot let another guy move on your prospect because trust me that's a lot more b*tch like. You may as well rollover and let him f*ck you.

@Mascara if you're going out and you have the opportunity to completely take the other guy out of the picture then go for it. That was what I was getting at with my scenario but your way of doing it is a lot better!!

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Remember this........

OK fellow DJs, time for me to teach you all something that most of you may have forgotten about:

First impressions are very important!

Remember that. If her first impression of you is that you are a weird and creepy guy, then her chances of ever giving you a chance is pretty slim. In contrast, if her first impression of you is (for example) some cool, outgoing/extroverted dude who is energetic and laughing a lot, you know, a dude who just has a good time with everything, then you will be seen as a leader and as a confident guy, not shy at all. Chicks dig those 2 things, as we all know.

Just be sure that her first impression of you isn't of something that you aren't, or else it will be hard to maintain that image for long.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

And OP, remember that girl number 2 knows when she is gonna see you, while that other dude just came at random (if I'm not mistaken). Girls love spontaneity because they 'never know what's gonna happen next'. Not to mention, because of that, he gave her a 'first impression'.

This is why NC works so well; it is like another first impression and gives you a chance to change and develop you, your character, your personality, your strength(s), etc etc. And [to the girl] it doesn't seem like a phony facade just to 'impress' her or anything; the NC has given you time to change yourself and the girl subconsciously knows that, thus it is a believable transformation.

Just thought you should know that