Got involved with a friend don't want to hurt her, advice needed

[Voice]

I'm single and intend on being single for the rest of my college career. Recently however I got involved with one of my female friends. I've known her for a few years now and never really felt anything more than just friends with her. I knew she has had a little crush on me for some time. She's always been one of the girls that hang out with us when we go out. Recently however I realized how cute she's become (about a 7 I guess) and we wound up hooking up one night. The funny thing is I was really trying to get with her roommate but she didn't come to later and by that time the 7 and I already started dancing and one thing led to another. A few weeks later we're fvckin almost every night after we go out. She no longer looks for other dudes to hook up with and I'm afraid she wants more with me.

I'm getting bored with her, the sex isn't great and her personality doesn't do it for me. I don't want to date her, but I don't want to hurt her. I'm in a pickle here. I don't know if I should just straight up tell her I'm not looking for anymore than fwb, cut it off completely or just do what I usually do and let her be the one to bring up our situation. The thing is every time we go out she is with us and I don't want to hurt her by getting with other girls. I don't want to just NOT invite her to come out because she'd find out and that would hurt her. It's also going to be hard to get with other girls within my social circle now.

Ugh, advice needed.

 

[Crissco]

Ive been through this before. Theres two ways you can do this bro.

1. Keep contact with her but wean her off of you little by little, say your busy and eventually she'll get the hint and move on.

2. Cut it off completely with her, no contact, but give her a warning and let how down nicely then go no contact.


Ive done both of then, 1 is the hardest to do because if the feelings are still there its harder to cut if off eventually in the end.


I say just cut if off completely bro. If your not feeling it anymore, no reason to string her along and hurt her more in the long run.

 

[joverby]

Yeah, definitely tricky. It's hard to say exactly because I feel like you should be able to still try to get with other girls when you're out with her, but that's the logical side. I'm sure we all know she might still get upset about it. This is all depending on how you think she VIEWS what you guys are now.

IDK, I would probably stay the course until she brings it up then let her know you don't want to commit to anything. That way you get to continue banging her(unless you don't care) and possibly get to keep a FWB.

Does she seem like the type that would be cool w/ a FWB or more "open relationship" or are you sensing her getting clingy?

[Edit]: After reading Crissco's post I'm almost more inclined to do the instant cut off, but as an option. Just straight up let her know that you really like "hanging out" with her but dont' want to persue anything more than that. UNLESS you don't think she is getting clingy / wanting more, which she probably is.

 

[Voice]

I won't be able to cut it off completely because we see each other ALL the time. I've been trying to see her less because I don't want to give her the wrong idea. However we saw each other all the time even before we got involved so it's not gonna be easy to do without hurting her.

Of course you guys know it's easy sex. Even if it's not that great, she's cute and it wouldn't be easy to give up. Idk bros, don't want to mess around with her feelings.

 

[Voice]

Ah, had a chance with three other girls last night at the bar.

One came up to me blatantly and basically told me she'd fvck me right then if we left the bar, no strings attached, said we'd never see each other again no problems. I didn't even spit any game at her, she was just a straight up ho. She came up to me, told me I was cute and told me she was dtf. I told her about my situation and how boring things were going with my fwb, she said she's anything but boring and said she's down for whatever. As we were talking my fwb was literally ten feet away from me. The ho then told me to make out with her right then and there. She wasn't the hottest girl in the world maybe a 7, but the situation itself was actually something exciting and I almost hooked on it. I told her I couldn't do it cause I didn't want to "break blondie's heart". She followed me around a bit after but finally gave up.

Second girl was a girl I fvcked last year and is kinda a ho. She's got a real cute face, good body and gave me a great bj last time. She was dancing on me and trying to flirt with me all night. At the same time I could see my fwb looking over at me. I just couldn't do it, felt too guilty.

Third girl was another random girl. She seemed really familiar to me. She seemed to be eying me all night and finally came up to me and started saying that I seemed familiar to her as well. Wasn't particularly hot so I ended the convo and moved on. Still, probably coulda fvcked her.

So the night ended as usual. I went back with my fwb, had sex twice, missionary as always. Idk bros need more excitement. Funny thing is a few years ago I would have loved to have this "problem".

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Missionary only? You need to teach her some tricks. Be a man and tell her that she is your jump-off and she should have no problem seeing you with different women.

 

[PapiChulo]

That post about the missionary really made me chuckle...... Whats wrong with her personality?

 

[Voice]

That post about the missionary really made me chuckle...... Whats wrong with her personality?

If I could describe her personality it's like the female version of a nice guy. I love her as a friend but she's too nice, it bores me. No challenge. No opinions for herself. Her sense of humor bores me. I need a girl that can match my wit, she falls flat. She's not good a flirting and not very sexual. Any and all excitement I had with her with our initial hook up is gone. Yeah, she's cute but her personality doesn't do it for me.

I tried to get her to go on top, but she tells me she's bad at being on top. She is right. No rhythm whatsoever, I had to do all the work. She tried giving me a bj, but it was horrible. She hardly makes any noise when we fvck, doesn't talk dirty at all (not a big deal but it adds excitement), she basically just lays there. I want a girl that can fvck like a champ, but she isn't anywhere close.

Bad situation, don't know what to do here.

 

[Crissco]

If I could describe her personality it's like the female version of a nice guy. I love her as a friend but she's too nice, it bores me. No challenge. No opinions for herself. Her sense of humor bores me. I need a girl that can match my wit, she falls flat. She's not good a flirting and not very sexual. Any and all excitement I had with her with our initial hook up is gone. Yeah, she's cute but her personality doesn't do it for me.

I tried to get her to go on top, but she tells me she's bad at being on top. She is right. No rhythm whatsoever, I had to do all the work. She tried giving me a bj, but it was horrible. She hardly makes any noise when we fvck, doesn't talk dirty at all (not a big deal but it adds excitement), she basically just lays there. I want a girl that can fvck like a champ, but she isn't anywhere close.

Bad situation, don't know what to do here.

I think you answered your own question bro.

Like I said I still think its best to cut it off and find someone else, or keep it going until u find someone else then cut it off.

 

[PapiChulo]

LJBF her, tell her it feels like friends. She is cute, there ll be another one in no time.

 

[AlexDP]

If I could describe her personality it's like the female version of a nice guy. I love her as a friend but she's too nice, it bores me. No challenge. No opinions for herself. Her sense of humor bores me. I need a girl that can match my wit, she falls flat. She's not good a flirting and not very sexual. Any and all excitement I had with her with our initial hook up is gone. Yeah, she's cute but her personality doesn't do it for me.

I tried to get her to go on top, but she tells me she's bad at being on top. She is right. No rhythm whatsoever, I had to do all the work. She tried giving me a bj, but it was horrible. She hardly makes any noise when we fvck, doesn't talk dirty at all (not a big deal but it adds excitement), she basically just lays there. I want a girl that can fvck like a champ, but she isn't anywhere close.

Bad situation, don't know what to do here.

Most good girls don't know how to fvck. That's why you have to teach them. My current girlfriend (who is by far the best I have ever had) was initially too scared to hurt me, do something wrong or awkward. You have to make them relax and tell them what to do. If you want to do her from behind while's she's laying on her stomach, you tell her what position to be in. If she objects you tell her it'll be fun and she should relax. 90% of the time she'll follow your lead. If she doesn't, it will be difficult to improve your sex life.

Nonetheless, if I were in your shoes, I'd try to improve it. Hard to tell where this is going and you could miss out on something great - especially because girls who are initially scared in the bedroom, often turn out to want to do anything to please their man. I'd give her a chance and see where it goes.