Got into a huge argument.....Now she seems a lot less interested

[The Great One]

So basically, on saturday I got into a huge fight with this woman that was VERY interested in me. The worst part is that by the end of the argument, it was just pointless yelling, and not getting anywhere.

Before, she would call me often, text me 24/7, and we would hang out at least once a week.

Now, she avoids me sometimes when she sees me, it feels weird when I am with her, and when I mentioned calling her, she said "Why can't we just talk in school instead?"

Basically, her interest seems to have DROPPED ever since the argument. How can I salvage this? I am pretty interested in the girl, so nexting her isn't really my first choice.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Isn't it obvious?

 

[CCKazi007]

Big mistake losing your cool, girls want men who're stable and have their emotion in check. There's a big differance with argueing and putting your foot down. When you get into an "argument" never yell but remain calm cuz she should be the only one yelling so after the argument she'll realize how foolish she was and come back to apologize. Don't be silent cuz she might think your not paying attention and get pissed at you more. But ya you kinda messed up big time so the easy answer is next... you can always apologize if only it was YOUR FAULT, if she was being a b*tch then NEVER APOLOGIZE. You can always give it time... oh yea reread the DJ bible. :rockon:

 

[TruthHurts]

Next her.... the only way her interest level goes up if you move on, and have interest for someone else, which means you wont care about her either way.

point is....sorry.. truth hurts... but... its over.... i.e. relationship is all about compatability and communication, as much as you like, in this case you lack it..

NEXT ... MOVE ON... FORGET...

 

[MacDiddy]

she's lost respect for you man... impossible to get back...

 

[Obsidian]

gftow

 

[Scorched]

The Great One - Buddy buddy old pal... Where did you learn to argue?

You've got to out smart her and make her feel... dumb... wrong... like she's lost her cool... she needs to calm down... she is being a drama queen. Etc etc etc... If she changes the subject when she is wrong, or just keeps at one point... call her out on it...

Some of the things I say when a girl trys to argue with me - aka GAIN POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP... Hrmmmm... well....
"Why are we even talking about this..."
"I don't get your point, this is annoying, k now your are annoying me..."

You can even laugh at her and then start tickleing her.
But chances are it will come back around unless you make her feel like a total dumb ass.

Let me try to relate...
Recently my girlfriend complained about me going out of town too much... So... I just happen to cancel a trip out of town with some friends due to me over sleeping... So she suddenly thought she had some power... Two days later she starts trying to demand stuff and argue with me. I quickly put her in her place and made her feel like she was beating a dead horse.

Good Luck in the future

 

[Vypros]

Interesting that people are giving you advice without asking you a VERY important question:

WHAT DID YOU ARGUE ABOUT?

 

[mrRuckus]

Why are you even arguing with women?

You're not going to convince them of anything.

 

[Fred Da Head]

gftow

+1

Finally someone else is using the good ol' tips!

 

[Phazuka]

The Great One - Buddy buddy old pal... Where did you learn to argue?

You've got to out smart her and make her feel... dumb... wrong... like she's lost her cool... she needs to calm down... she is being a drama queen. Etc etc etc... If she changes the subject when she is wrong, or just keeps at one point... call her out on it...

Some of the things I say when a girl trys to argue with me - aka GAIN POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP... Hrmmmm... well....
"Why are we even talking about this..."
"I don't get your point, this is annoying, k now your are annoying me..."

You can even laugh at her and then start tickleing her.
But chances are it will come back around unless you make her feel like a total dumb ass.

Let me try to relate...
Recently my girlfriend complained about me going out of town too much... So... I just happen to cancel a trip out of town with some friends due to me over sleeping... So she suddenly thought she had some power... Two days later she starts trying to demand stuff and argue with me. I quickly put her in her place and made her feel like she was beating a dead horse.

Good Luck in the future

Good points. When a girl is trying to be argumentative, laugh it off, play it down...don't validate her actions and don't reward bad behavior. You're rewarding her actions by yelling back and you've lost her respect. Keep your cool, man. I just let my GF yell all she wants, then I don't contact her anymore until she comes to me. She will eventually come around to realize how stupid she looked and apologize.

 

[Holland]

You lost composure, man. Never do that.
Learn from this and move on.

 

[wjh]

+1 for curious about what you argued over.

Some things are worth yelling/arguing over. That said, they're rare. So if it's that important to you - to the point where you lost your cool, it better be resolved quickly. Otherwise, whatever. She's not for you.

I had this issue with my LTR recently. I had, for a long time, been bothered by something specific that she did. I got upset, impatient, and I yelled. I told her it needed to stop - and then said I can't be with her if it doesn't stop. I told her I was sorry but that it could no longer continue.

She wised up because she does care about me and she turned around. She's aware that I won't take the same b.s. My yelling and getting pissed off made that apparent to her. Granted, I could have just not called her anymore, but I'm not the type to just ignore a girl I have feelings for and am in a LTR with.

 

[Phazuka]

+1 for curious about what you argued over.

Some things are worth yelling/arguing over. That said, they're rare. So if it's that important to you - to the point where you lost your cool, it better be resolved quickly. Otherwise, whatever. She's not for you.

I had this issue with my LTR recently. I had, for a long time, been bothered by something specific that she did. I got upset, impatient, and I yelled. I told her it needed to stop - and then said I can't be with her if it doesn't stop. I told her I was sorry but that it could no longer continue.

She wised up because she does care about me and she turned around. She's aware that I won't take the same b.s. My yelling and getting pissed off made that apparent to her. Granted, I could have just not called her anymore, but I'm not the type to just ignore a girl I have feelings for and am in a LTR with.

Exactly, you have to pick your fights. If you're going to stand firm on an issue, don't back down.

 

[The Great One]

Interesting that people are giving you advice without asking you a VERY important question:

WHAT DID YOU ARGUE ABOUT?

Another guy. Now before you guys think I was being major AFC, it wasnt about jealousy or anything of that matter.

Basically she has known this guy for a while now. The thing is, he always ends up doing things to hurt her etc. So she told me that the guy called her up again recently. They haven't talked for the past 6 months or so, because he did some pretty messed up things to her.....things that I would really have to HATE a girl to do. I pretty much told her that she shouldn't be wasting her time, because the guy always ends up screwing her over somehow, and that her continuing to give him chances was a pretty dumb idea. So then I ask her if she has feelings for him or something, becuase I just didn't get why she kept giving him chances. She says no, blah blah blah.

Then I started getting pretty frustrated because she was acting like she didn't know what the hell I was talking about, and she didn't understand why I thought her talking to this guy again was a bad idea.

Then all I know is that I started raising my voice, then yelling, and I don't even know why I was doing it. It accomplished nothing, and by the end I didn't even know what I was yelling about so I just hung up and went out to relax.

gftow

What does this mean? I'm obviously not up to date with my "internet lingo"

Scortched and Phazuka: Thanks. You both made some very good points and i'll be sure to remember those.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Interesting that people are giving you advice without asking you a VERY important question:

WHAT DID YOU ARGUE ABOUT?

That would matter if he had a bigger interest in being right than being with this woman.

 

[Phazuka]

Another guy. Now before you guys think I was being major AFC, it wasnt about jealousy or anything of that matter.

Basically she has known this guy for a while now. The thing is, he always ends up doing things to hurt her etc. So she told me that the guy called her up again recently. They haven't talked for the past 6 months or so, because he did some pretty messed up things to her.....things that I would really have to HATE a girl to do. I pretty much told her that she shouldn't be wasting her time, because the guy always ends up screwing her over somehow, and that her continuing to give him chances was a pretty dumb idea. So then I ask her if she has feelings for him or something, becuase I just didn't get why she kept giving him chances. She says no, blah blah blah.

Then I started getting pretty frustrated because she was acting like she didn't know what the hell I was talking about, and she didn't understand why I thought her talking to this guy again was a bad idea.

Then all I know is that I started raising my voice, then yelling, and I don't even know why I was doing it. It accomplished nothing, and by the end I didn't even know what I was yelling about so I just hung up and went out to relax.

What does this mean? I'm obviously not up to date with my "internet lingo"

Scortched and Phazuka: Thanks. You both made some very good points and i'll be sure to remember those.

I've had issues with jealousy in my LTR. Everyone get's jealous, it's natural in a relationship. You guys aren't in a relationship yet, so your feelings of jealousy give away the fact that you like her. Was the girl yelling back at you? Well, if you really like this girl then you have some damage control to perform.

Call her and assess your situation. If you were the one to lose your cool then maybe an apology is in order.

 

[The Great One]

I've had issues with jealousy in my LTR. Everyone get's jealous, it's natural in a relationship. You guys aren't in a relationship yet, so your feelings of jealousy give away the fact that you like her. Was the girl yelling back at you? Well, if you really like this girl then you have some damage control to perform.

Call her and assess your situation. If you were the one to lose your cool then maybe an apology is in order.

She knows I like her.....I know she likes me (or did like me for that matter). We just both aren't really 100% sure if we want to commit to anything yet.

She wasn't yelling back much, I know I was doing most of the yelling.

My idea was to just let us both chill out for a bit. I'm not going to go out of my way to contact her or bother asking her to hang out. I figured I would just see what happens by the end of the weekend.

 

[Vypros]

My idea was to just let us both chill out for a bit. I'm not going to go out of my way to contact her or bother asking her to hang out. I figured I would just see what happens by the end of the weekend.

That's as good a plan as any.

Don't let the people here say things like "keep your cool" or "you MUST be cool at all times and never yell"....you're not a frikin robot for god's sakes. Somebody who doesn't get excited about something once in a while and upset once in a while simply isn't alive.

You just don't want to let her push you to that point all the time.

Hell, if it were me, not only would I not talk to her until she talked to me first, I'd deliver an ultimatum and stick to it. If you don't want this guy in her life, then it's going to bother you the entire relationship and spark fights frequently. Trust me. So, she either puts him out of her life (unlikely) or you walk away.

Do NOT stand for a "guy friend' who CALLS her all the time and is pursuing her. You know guys. You know what they are after. And this site is proof that they have not standards and don't care if a woman has a boyfriend or not. She needs to understand this or you need to walk away, because I garauntee you that if you were calling some girl she would not only be mad, she would be LIVID.

 

[Nighthawk]

Everyone get's jealous, it's natural in a relationship.

Not for me.

Great One, you should have said (and believed) 'have him, bye' instead of trying to convince her how bad and dangerous he was. She was getting you to play the nice-guy to amplify her attraction for the bad-boy or she was pressing your buttons to see what kind of a man you are and you failed the test.

Also never believe a woman's version of events concerning past relationships.