Got in touch with a girl I used to like. Beta me wanting to come out...

[aim22]

So, there's this girl I met a couple of years ago, we hung out for like 3 days straight and it was great, ended up liking her a lot, and when I like a girl a lot, AFC me comes out. Long story short, came on too strong with cheesy texts and scared her away. We still kept in touch every once in a while but just random texting and I never really tried anything again, after a few months of that, contact stopped completely a little less than a year ago.

Fast forward until yesterday, her birthday. I sent a text: "Happy birthday, hope you're doing great". To what she answered, "thank you, I've thought about you sometimes... blablabla"

Now.. I know it's probably nothing and should let it pass, but I'd give my left nut to bang this chick again. Any tips on what to answer? All the replies I think about bring me back to thinking it is too cheesy or chump-y.

 

[Keiz]

If you can't meet with her, and you got these thoughts of her in your head all the time... You can't really persue it, she has an image of how you are already, and all the texting you would've to put in to change that would be way too much effort from your side. I'd say ask her out, get those "what if" thoughts out of your head and continue to get on with other women.

If you start texting her, without getting anything out except text, then you'll just feel bad for being AFC again. So again, ask her for a meet up or just ignore until she comes to you.

 

[christoff522]

Theres no point texting someone without physical contact. You'll simply be text on a screen to her without any real significance. Until you can become a 'real person' to her, she will bang other guys, seek out potential providers - essentially you'd be nothing to her. So sort out a date or delete her number from your phone.

 

[aim22]

I understand what you say and I agree. So, I wasn't really asking for ways to be succesful at text-gaming her, but only how to reply this once.

It's the first text I send her in almost a year, and when she replies, my response is to call and ask for a date? Yes, perhaps I should. But one small sign of interest on her part (mnot even that, maybe she's just being friendly) and my reaction is to get so excited as to think she might want to date me? Hmm, I don't know how that looks.

 

[Yewki]

But one small sign of interest on her part (mnot even that, maybe she's just being friendly) and my reaction is to get so excited as to think she might want to date me? Hmm, I don't know how that looks.

I'll tell you how it would look. It would look like you're a guy with some balls who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to ask for it.

"We haven't talked in ages, you should join me for drinks Xday night we can catch up a bit"

If she declines with no counter, say "Ok have fun" and move on.

 

[Roni_88]

First, before any move, clarify your own self ( control ) and what you want from her.. if you don't internalize it,, the Beta can come out any time and it can get worse than ever,, before or in an eventual date, then consider if its really worth the energy or time to spend on her.. My personal experience in a similar situation..