"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Got her number, no what?

spax

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So, I have the number of this girl I met last night who i was talking to.

I plan to meet up with her. Just one on one. My friend (whose a total DJ) suggested in 2 days at night I sms her - not call her and ask to "catch up for coffee". He said calling is a bit creepy to many girls.

What should I do? Start with smsing playful things, like inside jokes from the night, or just go straight to the meet up? I think getting her comfortable is probably better with playfuly sms banter.

What do you reccommend? Please advise.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Andromax

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Calling isn't creepy if she likes you. Calling is creepy if she doesn't want to talk to you. Call her in a few days and ask her out.

To me.. texting someone that you don't know is creepy..
 

Snowman23

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How do you plan on dating this person?? You have a girls number, and you don't have a clue what to do next.

Call her whenever the hell you want to. It's not a big deal.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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spax

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Yeh but Im a freakin noob. I hardly know if she likes me.
 

spax

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lol someone suggested I send this

"Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me... but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL! "

The night I met her, she kinda almost tripped and everyone laughed and so did she. Can you think of anything funny i can send in regard to that?
 

spax

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She lives kind of far away from me that we joked it was "the sticks".

Could I send something like


me: "Hey hows it going? It's spax from the other night"
hb: yeh pretty good, u?

me: yeh im great. wow im surprised they have phone reception out there...i didnt expect my message to reach! lol..kding
 

PlaysToWin

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I strongly suggest calling her over textin her.

Main reasons:
- Texting her gives her time to overanalyse and overthink her decision and how she words the response - calling gets an instance response and reaction to help you gauge her interest
- Risks you guys getting into a text conversation and the dreaded "text-relationship" (almost all your communication should ideally be when talking in person with the exception of communicating to set up dates)
- Texting is wussy and cowardly
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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spax

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No, i dont think we're in the comfortable stage yet to be calling. She'll think its weird since i hardly know her. Plus if I call, i have to pretty much ask out in that call. I can't build a rapport going through text.
 

ready123

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texting is good for certain things, like using intrigue, or if you lack spontaneity, but your friend's phone probably game just sucks and he's trying to backwards rationalize it by saying it's creepy. it's only creepy if you lack social calibration. 10 years ago, nobody was using text messaging anyway

do whichever you prefer. the point of both is the same - to get the date
 

spax

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k

So whats a good sms opener? Do I have to account for my smsing her?

eg. Hey, I was kinda bored so...how you going?
 

Mr. Wolf

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Don't text her.. Call her.. Call her Tuesday, and definitely before the end of this Wednesday.. You have to only say that you'd like to meet her for a coffee.. Tell her you'd like to see if she's qualified to be with you..

Then next morning or whenever, go out for a coffee..

Tell her to meet you there at a certain time, and tell her to not be late..

Bye... Takes like 1 minute.



Do not SMS... SMS is GAY, and I don't mean like happy.. SMS is GAY.. Yes, it's perfectly fine to use SMS if you're a single guy living on South Beach, and texting to other single guys..


The only reason you even asking this question is because you afraid to fail if you call her.. Screw things up, because you're not comfortable talking on the phone.. Failing improves you.. Not failing means you're either so good that you can't fail, or you're so bad that you afraid not to make it even worth that you are right now..

All you have to do is setup a stupid meet at a coffee place..
 

spax

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Hows this for call and date set up ............

ME: Hey HB, it's Spax from the other night. Hows it going?

HB: Oh hey, yeh good blah blah

ME: Wow, I'm suprised you can even get reception all the way in *far away area*

HB: lol

ME: Listen, I gotta go do some Xmas shopping tommorow, you wanna come with, maybe help choose something for sisters.....I could use the help, I'm terrible at buying gifts for girls.

And hopefully she says yes!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mr. Wolf

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Don't think about it and don't be afraid to fail.. That's how you get better, by failing..


YOU: Hi HerName. It's MyName from Sunday night..

HB: Oh yea hi.. **expect a totally different tone of voice over phone**

YOU: How are you?

HB: Good.. (How about you?)

YOU: I'm great baby!!!!!
YOU: Hey.. I'm having a coffee tomorrow morning at Star bucks.. Why don't you join me.. I want to see if you're qualified to be with me..

HER: Uh ok..

YOU: It's at star bucks on so and so.. I'll be there 9 a.m... Why don't you meet me there at 9..

HER: Ok honey, I will..

YOU: Great! And don't be late! I can't stand when people are late, it says bad things about them..

HER: Whatever..

YOU: Ok girl.. Later, I gotta run now.. Bye.

HER: Bye..

YOU: Bye yourself! Bye bye..
 
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