"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

got her name and work schedule

AAAgent

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Last night-----1/28/2011

I posted this in another thread but i just wanted opinions whether i should make a plan to go back and number close or other options.


first time ever talking up a waitress. Was kinda pissed that i didn't close but i got her name and found out what days she works. I would have number closed if it wasn't awkward but now that i think back hard about it....its going to be weird a lot of times since if you don't get the number that night you probably won't see them ever again.

I was waiting outside to catch her on her way out since it looked like her shift was ending. I was right, but she left so quick i couldn't catch her (i was standing outside and she came out turned the corner and sped out of there). I walked back in and started playing pong again with my friends and she somehow ends up coming back in because she forgot a jacket. I wasn't giving up this opportunity so i stood right infront of the door in the lobby.

was talking on the phone to my boy when i see the girl coming i quickly put it down..

AAA: Hey i'm glad i got to catch you on the way out (smiling).
waitress: Hey, thanks a lot for tonight. Hope you guys had a good time (i think she said this but i forget what she said after thanks for tonight. Lets pretend it was that but she did say something).

We make eye contact and she stops quickly.

AAA: yeah no problem. I never got to get your name tonight.
Waitress: my name is HB8.
AAA: Nice to meet you HB8. (i thought i introduced myself here but i didn't) So how often do you work here?
Waitress: I work here mostly Friday's, *Saturdays, *Mondays, and *Tuesday's (all the asterisks are the days i believe she said. I forget it was loud and i was drinking a decent amount already.). Yeah but i'm starting school next week so.
AAA: Oh that's cool. We'll it was nice meeting you HB8. My names AAAgent btw. Have a great night!

Waitress: smiles and high fives me.

I didn't number close because i would i really felt like i didn't earn it. I was tipping her well and i felt she only opened up easier to me because of that. I didn't have any opportunity for small talk so i guess tipping her well bypassed that barrier. I should have closed anyway since, any opportunity maybe the only opportunity.

Lesson learned. You earn all your chances.

The atmosphere is described below.

(she wasn't really my waitress or maybe she was. She was the only girl running the whole bar. Getting most of the table drinks, food and helping with the cleaning. It was loud, we were playing pong, i would have tried to talk to her somehow if there was a chance. Managed to stop her during the night a few times to get some food, extra pong balls (we asked for two, she made a corny joke), went to her personally to get another pitcher since the bartender was impossible to get to.)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

AAAgent

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I forgot to mention that she also looked like she was in a real hurry when she was heading out so i didn't want to get into too much details just the basic important stuff. The number should have been included in there.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Not that I'm suggesting that guys should only talk to girls who show them signs, but....did this chick give you any signs of interest?

Right now you seem like the typical guy who has the hots for a waitress. We all want to bang the waitress. It's their job to make us want to bang them.

But I give you benefit of the doubt. There's obviously a backstory here that I'm missing...
 

AAAgent

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honestly she didn't give me any signs if that's what you were asking. I didn't show her any interest either, I tend to always feign interest and just surprise approach. I'm not one to ease their way in, one of my faults and possibly strengths??

I knew i had to do something to not be the a$$hole that was hitting on the waitress but at the same time I couldn't find a way to talk to her without being direct, so i didn't try to talk to her.

I first noticed her when i was hungry and i stopped her to order some food. We were already there for 3 hours then moved to play pong. Thought she was cute. She brought over the bill and left it there since we were playing pong she said we could take our time. It was $20 and me and the guy put down a total of $25.

they i'm up for pong so i go grab a pitcher and i just couldn't get to the bartender so i ask my waitress politely who i catch cashing someone in if she could get me one. My partner paid for the pitcher which was $14 and gave me a $20. The last 3 pitchers we got weren't filled to the top and ours was so i told her to keep the change (she asked me if i wanted the change back at first and i said yes, after i saw how much she filled it up i let her keep the total). She ended up being friendlier obviously because we were good customers and didn't cause trouble. She stopped by and made a few jokes *above first post*.

night ended and i got her name and work schedule. She was surprised but not offended. Definitely didn't seem disgusted but i couldn't tell if she was interested.

My thinking was i wasn't in a situation to build rapport/attraction so i might as well build my comfort level which makes approaching easier.
 
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