"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Got friendzoned ****
- Thread starter mikee
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Igetit!
Moderator
Thanks for the tip dude,but this is elementary.mikee said:
You mean you've been a member here for over a year,and you're just now discovering this?
How long were you talking to and hanging out with this girl before you finally started to sense that something "didn't seem right"?
I ask that because more than likely,you probably asked her out and got the LJBF speech,but the actually friendzoning occured looong before the "friend" speech took place.
You just didn't realize it until it wat too late.
LinkinParkROX
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2009
- Messages
- 136
- Reaction score
- 1
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Sadly I knew this was prone to happen, but yet I managed to **** up everything. We've been talking for over a year now, but the problem is, she lives really far away and she can only go to my town very few times. We did have a few meetings but I didn't make most of those oportunities.Igetit! said:
One of my biggest fears about her was that she could friend zone me (im a bit paranoid about that tbh), and maybe not all hope is lost.
I'm basing my post on what she said to me (on msn btw, our main communication way), we were having a pretty ugly fight and when we calmed down I told her a story about a girl I nexted because she started ****ing around with me and I said I didn't wanted to lose her the same way.
She replied: **** no, ending with a friendship like this ? never in my life !
My face went pale, but I pretended I didn't give a ****.
The thing is, I don't really want to give up on her, and I believe there is still some hope left and that might not really mean I got friendzoned, though it's a pretty strong indicator imo.
Any help guies ?
Conquer: actually yeah I really could use some advice right now, thanks a bunch mate
(JJ): ahahah, pretty good advice XD
Igetit!
Moderator
You see the part I highlighted in bold? That was one of the things that stood out to me. Look,women know whether or not they're attracted to you after talking to you for as little as 5 to 10 minutes.mikee said:
You've know this girl for over a year.
That's what I meant when I said that it was over looong before you realized it.
Yeah dude,it's the friendzone. You told her you didn't want to lose her,then she VERBALIZED,"no,ending a "friendship" like this?".mikee said:
Yeah,she actually said the word "friendship" when you mentioned not losing her.
This one is done for.
I'm sorry dude,but the friendzone is pretty much a one-way street to a dead end. And the longer you've known the girl,the worse the situation is. Judging by the way she said,"A friendship like this?",and she seemed to say it with some feeling and emotion behind it.mikee said:
And I'm 100% certain those feeling and emotions aren't romantic or sexual.
The thing is this:it's easy,EASY TO AVOID the friendzone.
In fact,it's so easy to avoid,that you're going to feel stupid for ever falling in it in the first place when you understand how to avoid it.
As far as how to get out of it,well,it's pretty much impossible.
The best thing you should do right now is learn how to avoid the friendzone in the first place,which myself or one of the other members here can fill you in on. Take that knowledge and more forward.
This situation you're in right now is a lost cause.
You'll only waste your time here.
Edit:Hey Conquer,I also would like to hear what you have to say about how Mikee can make the best of this sitation.
LinkinParkROX
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2009
- Messages
- 136
- Reaction score
- 1
however I have a few stories that happened with some of my friends and even one with myself about girls calling you "friend" and talking about firendship when it later turned out all they wanted was to get boned. And in my case I knew the girl for over 2 years, and by the time she started to like me we hang out almost everyday plus msn conversations.
Not saying the same is happening with this girl, but I only told the worst part of the conversation, in that same conversation she also said I wasn't like any other of her friends, and when I said that I had thought about giving up on her she practically begged me to warn her first and not stop suddenly talking to me, and she would do the same.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Igetit!
Moderator
You still don't get it,but that's ok.mikee said:
You're young,so you'll figure it out. I just hate the fact that you'll have to unecessariliy waste time just to understand what everyone here is flat out telling you.
You started this thread on 7-13 09.
I predict in one month,on 8-13-09,you'll still be right here where you currently are with this girl,only more angry,upset,bitter,and CONFUSED because despite her seemingly appearing interested,you won't have made any progress with her.
You remind me of this guy in this thread. Dude spent over half a year trying to date his "friend".
You'd be SHOCKED at how things turned out.
Actually after reading the guy's thread and your post one more time now I know where you're coming from.
The poor dude was completely obssessed by the girl, I actually felt sorry for him while reading the thread.
There's a big diference between me and him, it's not like a spent a entire year exclusively trying to get her, so it wasn't really wasted time. What I have in mind now is simple: now that I realize the situation I'm in, I'll just start getting more sexual, and show my interest very clearly. Or in other words, I'll start attacking ***** town with all my soldiers instead of waiting for the enemy to sleep. It will quickly show if I succeed or not, if I do, fine, if I don't, well i don't give a **** there's plenty of fish out there and at least I tried.