"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Got friendzoned ****
- Thread starter mikee
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Igetit!
Moderator
Thanks for the tip dude,but this is elementary.mikee said:
You mean you've been a member here for over a year,and you're just now discovering this?
How long were you talking to and hanging out with this girl before you finally started to sense that something "didn't seem right"?
I ask that because more than likely,you probably asked her out and got the LJBF speech,but the actually friendzoning occured looong before the "friend" speech took place.
You just didn't realize it until it wat too late.
LinkinParkROX
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2009
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Sadly I knew this was prone to happen, but yet I managed to **** up everything. We've been talking for over a year now, but the problem is, she lives really far away and she can only go to my town very few times. We did have a few meetings but I didn't make most of those oportunities.Igetit! said:
One of my biggest fears about her was that she could friend zone me (im a bit paranoid about that tbh), and maybe not all hope is lost.
I'm basing my post on what she said to me (on msn btw, our main communication way), we were having a pretty ugly fight and when we calmed down I told her a story about a girl I nexted because she started ****ing around with me and I said I didn't wanted to lose her the same way.
She replied: **** no, ending with a friendship like this ? never in my life !
My face went pale, but I pretended I didn't give a ****.
The thing is, I don't really want to give up on her, and I believe there is still some hope left and that might not really mean I got friendzoned, though it's a pretty strong indicator imo.
Any help guies ?
Conquer: actually yeah I really could use some advice right now, thanks a bunch mate
(JJ): ahahah, pretty good advice XD
Igetit!
Moderator
You see the part I highlighted in bold? That was one of the things that stood out to me. Look,women know whether or not they're attracted to you after talking to you for as little as 5 to 10 minutes.mikee said:
You've know this girl for over a year.
That's what I meant when I said that it was over looong before you realized it.
Yeah dude,it's the friendzone. You told her you didn't want to lose her,then she VERBALIZED,"no,ending a "friendship" like this?".mikee said:
Yeah,she actually said the word "friendship" when you mentioned not losing her.
This one is done for.
I'm sorry dude,but the friendzone is pretty much a one-way street to a dead end. And the longer you've known the girl,the worse the situation is. Judging by the way she said,"A friendship like this?",and she seemed to say it with some feeling and emotion behind it.mikee said:
And I'm 100% certain those feeling and emotions aren't romantic or sexual.
The thing is this:it's easy,EASY TO AVOID the friendzone.
In fact,it's so easy to avoid,that you're going to feel stupid for ever falling in it in the first place when you understand how to avoid it.
As far as how to get out of it,well,it's pretty much impossible.
The best thing you should do right now is learn how to avoid the friendzone in the first place,which myself or one of the other members here can fill you in on. Take that knowledge and more forward.
This situation you're in right now is a lost cause.
You'll only waste your time here.
Edit:Hey Conquer,I also would like to hear what you have to say about how Mikee can make the best of this sitation.
LinkinParkROX
Don Juan
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however I have a few stories that happened with some of my friends and even one with myself about girls calling you "friend" and talking about firendship when it later turned out all they wanted was to get boned. And in my case I knew the girl for over 2 years, and by the time she started to like me we hang out almost everyday plus msn conversations.
Not saying the same is happening with this girl, but I only told the worst part of the conversation, in that same conversation she also said I wasn't like any other of her friends, and when I said that I had thought about giving up on her she practically begged me to warn her first and not stop suddenly talking to me, and she would do the same.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Igetit!
Moderator
You still don't get it,but that's ok.mikee said:
You're young,so you'll figure it out. I just hate the fact that you'll have to unecessariliy waste time just to understand what everyone here is flat out telling you.
You started this thread on 7-13 09.
I predict in one month,on 8-13-09,you'll still be right here where you currently are with this girl,only more angry,upset,bitter,and CONFUSED because despite her seemingly appearing interested,you won't have made any progress with her.
You remind me of this guy in this thread. Dude spent over half a year trying to date his "friend".
You'd be SHOCKED at how things turned out.
Actually after reading the guy's thread and your post one more time now I know where you're coming from.
The poor dude was completely obssessed by the girl, I actually felt sorry for him while reading the thread.
There's a big diference between me and him, it's not like a spent a entire year exclusively trying to get her, so it wasn't really wasted time. What I have in mind now is simple: now that I realize the situation I'm in, I'll just start getting more sexual, and show my interest very clearly. Or in other words, I'll start attacking ***** town with all my soldiers instead of waiting for the enemy to sleep. It will quickly show if I succeed or not, if I do, fine, if I don't, well i don't give a **** there's plenty of fish out there and at least I tried.