"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

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The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Got fired, for making an apparent honest mistake, do I have a case?

Trendsetter

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So I got fired by a bank as a licensed banker for making an honest mistake and also for having a loser as a friend.


About two weeks ago on a saturday, I had a short amount of cash in my bank account and needed $100 to get through the weekend. I called a friend and asked him if I could cash a check on his account knowing my account would have the money to cover the check early the following week. We cash the check, I have $100 cash on me for the weekend and on Monday I realize that the check is going to bounce. Being the good friend that I am, I notified my friend, told him that I was going to deposit $100 cash in his account to cover the bad check and also give him $20 for helping me out and for the very minor inconvenience (not really an inconvenience since it evened out his account and I got hit with the return item fee)

So I tell him I'll meet him on my lunch break to give him the dough, I was running late so I asked him if I could just deposit it in his account. He told me 'ok' and I told him, DO NOT SPEND THE CASH, because he would overdraw his account and the $100 was for the check. He's a dumbass though and he ended up spending the money in a day before the check even cleared. I assumed he was going to spend it and wanted to monitor his account to know when to deposit it but I didn't want to know his personal business so I didn't monitor his account. You also are not supposed to view friends accounts without their approval I assumed, I later learned you aren't supposed to look at them period.

Long story short, this 'friend' starts hitting me up saying I made his account negative with the bad check, I told him, I deposited money to cover the check and told him that he made it negative by spending the money. He agreed that it was his fault but was still blaming me for the error. So, being a good friend, I agreed to work with him to fix the problem. I asked him, how much did he spend and how much were OD fees. He had about 160 in OD fees and spent $104. I told him, to call customer service, and they'd reverse two of the fees and I would meet him halfway on the rest. He was still upset that his acct was negative $200 but I told him since he overdrew his account, the bank won't reverse the rest.

I was on vacation the following week and unbeknownst to me, he went into my branch and blamed me for writing a bad check and overdrawing his account. Keep in mind he went to a branch beside his apt, got two fees reversed then drove clear across town to my branch. He said he wanted me in jail, fired, and was gonna call the cops. He also said he never authorized me to deposit money in his account. This was all an act to get some silly fees reversed. My manager reported this to human resources

Well the next week I go into the branch, I hear that I have to talk to operation securities because of this. I call the friend and asked him wtf was he thinking and why didn't he tell me this, he was still blaming me and said he was pissed. I told him, he needs to call securities and tell them what REALLY happened or I'd get fired. He took back his story but it was already too late.

I ended up interviewing with securities, they asked me if I accessed a friends account for nonbusiness purposes. I told them, I only accessed his acct to get his acct number to deposit the cash.

I ended up being fired for breaking a code of conduct policy. I accessed his account with his permission on my lunch break only to deposit money. Apparently I was supposed to give it so someone else to do.

The only reason they knew was because the loser caused a scene over some stupid fees. So I'm unfairly out of a job looking for work and looking to see if I have a wrongful termination case against the company. Any advice?
 

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Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

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Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Semtex

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"friend"?

With friends like that, who needs enemies...My only advice is never enter into any financial dealings with anyone, even family except for your parents, and even if it seems like a minor inconvenience or a small favour
 

bigjohnson

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Trendsetter said:
Any advice?
I can't believe you worked in a bank as a "licensed banker" and thought this would be OK. There are processes in place for this sort of thing and those have to be followed, it's auditable and if not followed, actionable.

My advice is think it through next time and for f*cksake, use credit for credit.
 

Trendsetter

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bigjohnson said:
I can't believe you worked in a bank as a "licensed banker" and thought this would be OK. There are processes in place for this sort of thing and those have to be followed, it's auditable and if not followed, actionable.

My advice is think it through next time and for f*cksake, use credit for credit.
Whats credit for credit? Licensed just means I have my securities licenses. I guess I wasn't thinking. I was honestly doing the guy a favor since he didn't have a car and I couldn't drive out there. It was convenient to deposit it into his acct. Of course, I never saw him doing what he did and if he never did that, it wouldn't have been drawn to their attention
 

bigjohnson

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Trendsetter said:
.... I had a short amount of cash in my bank account and needed $100 to get through the weekend....
So you were short cash ....


Trendsetter said:
Whats credit for credit? .... I was honestly doing the guy a favor since he didn't have a car and I couldn't drive out there.
Doing him a favor how? Helping him loan you money neither of you had? I'm not being a smartass, it just sounded like you were asking him to loan you $100 for the weekend, which he didn't have.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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mpimpin

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I don't think you have a case and need to leave it alone. You've already lost a job, and a reference and if word of this gets out you won't be hired at any bank.
 

Prodigy746

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This was a pretty stupid thing to do. I am sorry but you definitely deserved to be fired for this and i would let it go and look for another job. As far as your friend is concerned, i would get rid of him asap.
 

Hockey Playa

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Hey i work the same job as you did here in Canada. I dont know if our policies are different, but im assuming there along the same lines. What do you mean by "i asked him if i could cash a cheque on his account"? Does that mean you wrote a cheque made out to your friend, and than went into a bank and cashed it pretending to be him(Fraud)? Or was that a double endorsed cheque where it is payable to your friend but he signed it over to you(we have 0 tolerance for this here)? If i misinterpreted this part than thats fine. I see your other fault was looking up account information to deposit money to your friend. If this was your only grounds for getting fired, i do find it a bit flaky. I am fully aware of privacy issues etc. You did have his verbal consent, and you were just depositing money, not taking any out. Also it was an insignificant amount. You should have been smarter about the whole situation though, considering your employment. As said, get overdraft protection, a credit card, or even go to a family member next time. That whole situation was a bit sketchy
 

bigjohnson

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Hockey Playa said:
You should have been smarter about the whole situation though, considering your employment. As said, get overdraft protection, a credit card, or even go to a family member next time. That whole situation was a bit sketchy

Much nicer and more clear way to say it. Precisely what I think.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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I too work in the financial industry.

And you know as well as I, how stringently we are watched for anything that is even reminiscent of fraud or conflict of interest. Tisk tisk, if ever you smell sh!t, see that you don't step in it.

The first question you must answer is, how badly has this incident affected your U4? Is it dinged, or destroyed?

Whatever course of action you pursue must be determined by the answers to the previous question.

It was a bonehead move, but I've never heard of a banker being fired for making a deposit. If it becomes apparent that you can't sail away from this thing, it may behoove you to consult an attorney.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Trendsetter

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Julius_Seizeher said:
I too work in the financial industry.

And you know as well as I, how stringently we are watched for anything that is even reminiscent of fraud or conflict of interest. Tisk tisk, if ever you smell sh!t, see that you don't step in it.

The first question you must answer is, how badly has this incident affected your U4? Is it dinged, or destroyed?

Whatever course of action you pursue must be determined by the answers to the previous question.

It was a bonehead move, but I've never heard of a banker being fired for making a deposit. If it becomes apparent that you can't sail away from this thing, it may behoove you to consult an attorney.
Yeah my u-5 is pretty much screwed. So any potential employer can pull it up and it will say 'code of conduct violation' or 'gross misconduct' Fvckin bull$hit.

And to those saying, it was a boneheaded and stupid? I appreciate the feedback but understand that this was an honest mistake, I had no malicious intent, I was making a deposit i.e. giving the guy money. I didn't even know I ws gonna get fired once they knew about it because the guy gave me permission to deposit the money. If i sad he gave me his acct #, I'd still have a job today. He just decided to fvck me over when he got some overdraft fees that were not my fault. I'll prolly just have to explain the situation in job interviews from now on. I was debating bending the truth but theres no point.


*edit* I guess the u-5 is only for brokerage firms. It won't show on a standard background check unless I have a criminal record like Bernie Madoff. That's good to hear.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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They don't care about the details, though that's where you find the devil.

All they see is a banker borrowing money from a customer, a banker who on his own accord facilitated a transaction on behalf of an accountholder without the express directive of the accountholder, and with whom the banker had a personal affiliation.

Dude, anytime there is a personal affiliation, anytime the lines seem to have been blurred, it doesn't matter if a crime or anything less than transparent has even happened. You are the next Bernie Madoff, game over.

Now I'm not trying to be a prick here. I feel for you man, this business puts you under a microscope. Keep your head up, start calling on banks and other fin serv companies, and move forward. If FINRA lets you keep your licenses, you'll be able to get a job.
 

Trendsetter

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Julius_Seizeher said:
All they see is a banker borrowing money from a customer, a banker who on his own accord facilitated a transaction on behalf of an accountholder without the express directive of the accountholder, and with whom the banker had a personal affiliation.

Dude, anytime there is a personal affiliation, anytime the lines seem to have been blurred, it doesn't matter if a crime or anything less than transparent has even happened. You are the next Bernie Madoff, game over.
That's the problem, I had the express directive of the accountholder.


Well that's in the past I guess, would you suggest lying in the next job interviews or explaining the situation? I don't really care about working in the financial industry anyway, it's not really my trade. I'm just more concerned about potential employers being able to access this now public info, or is it strictly only brokerage firms that can access the info. Thx.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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I couldn't see walking away from the financial industry, especially so quickly. There is no other industry with so much earning potential, the sky's the limit.

But in the event you were applying at non-financial jobs, they would more than likely never contact the regulatory authorities, so they would only know if you told them.

If they press you on the terms of your separation, just pull the 'ol Slick Willy (aka Bill Clinton) deal on 'em:cool:
 

WaterTiger

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Let me get this straight....

You wrote a bad check...then don't understand why you got fired?

Had you been MY employee, I'd have pressed criminal charges and you'd NEVER work at handling money ANYWHERE again.




....also your friend is a pr!ck!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Wiesman44

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WaterTiger said:
Let me get this straight....

You wrote a bad check...then don't understand why you got fired?

Had you been MY employee, I'd have pressed criminal charges and you'd NEVER work at handling money ANYWHERE again.




....also your friend is a pr!ck!

His u-4 is screwed now. Its doubtful he will work in finance ever again with this job economy.

****ty situation OP. I used to be in banking. But you should know better. Plus, if you are in banking, then you are pulling in a a semi-decent paycheck. What are u doing having to borrow a lousy $100 ? You dont have a dime in savings ?
 

Bible_Belt

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I'm not sure, but I think you have the right to attach a written addendum to the negative comments on your U4. You can explain the situation, at least enough to show that you were not lying or stealing. I'm not sure how much it would realistically help, but it is at least something.
 

Trendsetter

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WaterTiger said:
Let me get this straight....

You wrote a bad check...then don't understand why you got fired?

Had you been MY employee, I'd have pressed criminal charges and you'd NEVER work at handling money ANYWHERE again.




....also your friend is a pr!ck!
First of all the bad check is not why I got fired. Second of all, don't you think if I knew the check would bounce, I wouldn't have written the check? It was an honest mistake homie, do you not understand that. Why do you think I quickly, upon realizing that deposited money in his account. What's so ironic is that if I just monitored his acct and deposited the cash when the check bounced, I would have never been in this mess because the dumba$$ wouldn't have been able to spend it. You are right about him being a pri(k though.
 

Jamo

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Now that you are fired, go buy a sizeable bag of cocaine, plant it in his house, and call the cops on him for being a dealer.

lol
 

Trendsetter

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My U-5 is Good folks.


This is from the internet, of course I'll dig deeper into it but I should be ok.

"Now in regards to your U5 you don't have to worry about that. if you were terminated based on a securities issue then this is what would appear on your U5 and that would leave a mark, but if you are let go on the bankside, this will have no impact on the U5. I have 3 attorneys waiting for me to give them the okay as well".
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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