Got dumped by email - is she bluffing? Can I win her back?

[bigneil]

She and I spent last weekend together, but after she invited me over for this weekend Tuesday I teased her that she didn't pass the audition yet, we got in an argument, and although we made a commitment that night, on Thursday I got this.

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"I've given this a lot of thought the last few days. I don't think we should see each other anymore. This isn't a healthy relationship.

My feelings are still very hurt. I am not happy. I didn't think that not inviting someone I have been dating for only a month (we didn't go out for one week of that either) into my apartment was a big deal. Aparently it was. And your reponse to it when I did, really hurts still. I had expected open and honest communication, but instead was met with some sort of game or tactic. There seems to be a lot of games and tactics. You could have saved a lot of time for yourself and just directly ask questions or asked for what you wanted.

I don't like how I was spoken to in email, the phone, or in person on many levels. I'm sorry that some of my behaviors weren't meeting your expectations. If you really felt that way about me or you couldn't talk to me about it - then you didn't have to date me. No one was forcing you to.

I can't not spend time with friends or stop doing things I want to do - to show someone else that I'm not doing anything bad or inproper or with ulterior motive. It isn't fair.

I find it hard to believe that all of these feelings were a one-night thing. There seemed to a lot of anger about a lot things.

For the record, I'm not seeing anyone this weekend. I probably won't date at all for a while actually."

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I didn't reply yet. Is it over?

 

[DonDan]

its a test... of course its not over. trust me.. hmm, ill let more advanced dj's answer you.. but anyways dont give in and become a total wuss bag. shes looking to get a rise out of u and make u under her control.

 

[edmond]

well said Exp By playing mind fvck games you shot yourself in the foot, in reading the girls E Mail I remembered an article exactly describing your type.
These are just a few of sterling points that you need to know about the psychological make up of criminals.
1. Extreme egomania/selfishness/me-based orientation.
2. Poor impulse control.
3. Manipulative behavior.
4. Inability to accurately "read" other people's emotions.
5. Little or no ability to delay gratification.
6. Disassociation from the negative effects of their actions/guilt.
7. Your "value" is defined by what you can do for them.
8. The only consistent in their behavior is what benefits/pleases them.

Can you recognize yourself?

 

[Morphiex]

for me it seems that the girl had enoug of the ****y funny act that you were doing , maby you werrent doing it right ...
But all in all yeah its a lost case , some girls dont like the whole ****y funny act ,they find it cute in the beginning but after a while it becomes boring... shes probably one of em. you could go after her , but i think the damage has been done , youl probably want to go after her , since humans usually want what they cant have. all you gots ta do now is chill figure out if you want to have a relationship with her , try to figure out why she left you , and work it out ,trying to be someone your not is hard work and they always fail ....

 

[Kings_royalty]

I have to agree with DonDan on this one.

She sounds too uptight. I can see that you were trying to be playful and have some fun, which is fine, but unfortunately she wasn't up for it. Maybe she was in a bad mood (PMS) or her dog died, who knows. Either way, don't go chasing this girl. If she wants to go, let her.

Maybe you did lay on the C&F on to thick, or to often, who knows. That's not important 'right now'. Right now you need to deal with her email, put her in place and move on.

Moving forward, you need to pay attention to how girls react to C&F, they all react differently. C&F only works when the girl plays back, keep that in mind.

She's probably expecting you to come crawling back to here and apologizing left and right, trying to win her back. It might be to late, like some of the guys posted on her, but she will still EXPECT you to kiss her a$$ it. Don't do it.

Check your PM for what my response would look like.

 

[Scott Hall]

Hey yo these women chico? They play hard to get man.

You need to get yourself some dinero man. Then this babe will be all over you man.

You gotta be more like the bad guy...

 

[mrRuckus]

Girls arent a prize to be won but merely a vagina to be fvcked until they prove respectability otherwise.

 

[spesmilitis]

there are too many 'win her back' questions on this board, not enough 'should i take her back' questions.

 

[bigneil]

Well, what happened was, she started telling me she has been with her ex every week, sometimes when I was in the room, and it pissed me off. Then she started saying I was insecure but other women generally say a woman should try and make her man comfortable by not seeing her ex., not force the ex on him.

Anyhow, she emailed to say she was "waterworks" the moment I walked away at work. Then she called a second time but I was out. Didn't want to play games, but aso didn't know whether calling her back right away was just enabling her.

 

[bigneil]

When I got the email I called her and told her I had started to read it, but wanted to talk in person. I said "I understand though." That was last night. I did not reply by email or call again.

Well today was my last day at work. Everyone came to say goodbye but her. She can overhear every word. So as I was leaving I walked by her cubicle and I stopped and we held eye contact. I said "I've enjoyed working with you.". With sad eyes she said "you too". "Bye." I said. "bye.".

So I got home to find a long message on my voice mail and she apologized and says she'll be home tonight if I want to call her. She said she didn't listen to my message until today because she was afraid of what I'd say.

IMO - her letter was more laying down the law then saying she is not attracted to me.

 

[bigneil]

PS - It wasn't C+F or games. It was the fact that she never once in 5 months spoke my name. 100 encounters. 100 work days together - 6 weeks of dating - several nights of sex - never did she say my name. Then I went through 100 emails from her - never did she write my name. I wanted to tell her but then of course she'd say "F*ck you Neil" and would have used my name. So in my email I said "it's amazing that you never have X or Y (non sexual)" - and told her to read Dale Carnegie but that set her off. Ironically she used my name in both her most recent email and voice mails for the first time.

 

[wskbb]

sounds like she doesn't like the way you treat her.
move on asap and she might crawl back to you.
unless you change the way u treat her, things will get worst.

but if you're being urself when you're with her, u really should move on.