Got dumped! But why?

[Royal-tiger]

Enlightened souls,

It has been awhile since I last posted in this wonderful community. Now is the time to reflect latest “chick incident”.

I have been seeing a 48-year old woman for about a month. Things were going great including sex. Professionally she is a Mary Kay sales director. Not that it matters but just more info.

Last night I was told of a great Latin dance joint; so I thought to pay her a visit and see if she would like to do some moves. Since I did not have my cell with me I just cruised to her place. Her apartment light was on but there was a car in the driveway besides her. I did not know if knocking on the door was appropriate without realizing who it was. So from a distance (in the darkness of the night) I tried to get a peek of people inside the apartment since the blinds were partially open. I only saw her. As far as I can tell she did not spot me because I was at a distance. So unable to figure out I just left and did not visit the dance place.

Returning to my home, there was a message from her stating she does not want to see me anymore. I called back and left a message that it was fine by me but I would like to pick up some of my things at her place. She called back today and left a message that I can pickup my things tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon when she leave them outside her apartment.

Fellow DJs, I am at a total loss at what happened. At the worst, if she did see me she would have asked for my explanation as to what was going on.

Of course, I will pickup my things tomorrow but I am leaning towards no contact with her whatsoever. However, I would love to hear your analysis of the situation as regards what the hell happened. Enlighten me, please.

 

[RabidDog]

need more details, relationship wise.

 

[WestCoaster]

All I can say is ...

... she's a woman, no reason to try and figure it out or apply logic here. Most women (especially those in our country) do not THINK through situations, whether it's for the good or bad or whether it will hurt someone or not. They act impulsively and for their own good, no one else's. Again, exceptions to the rule, but not many.

Hate to say it, but next.

I think you should've knocked on the door and saw what shook down and if there was a guy there, just acted cool and confident. Water under the bridge now.

* Walking by a couple gals sitting outside my apartment complex yesterday and one was explaining to the other one that she was dating this one guy while really dating this other guy on the side -- typical U.S. woman action, it's called "overlapping." Most guys don't do this, most U.S. women do. Oh, both women were woofers whom I wouldn't touch with a 200-foot pole, but there are so many AFCs in this country they get away with this stuff. Stunning.

 

[Royal-tiger]

What to say

Originally posted by RabidDog
need more details, relationship wise.

There really is not much to relate and that's why I am surprised/confused. We have been seeing each other for just about a month, twice a week. Whenever we would go out I will foot the bill. She never paid or even asked to pay for dining out.

We had sex whenever we saw each other. This includes as late as last Wednesday.

I decided not to knock on the door as that could have been seen as a blatant invasion of privacy. Besides confrontation is not my style when there are so many fish out there.

 

[heater528]

Hey i feel for you... im starting to learn that females are not rational people. I figured i had a good graspe on how to play them and come out on top, but everytime i start thinking this way i will meet a girl who completely blows my mind and i cant figure out what she was thinking or doing. My advice is this Move on when you see her smile and say whats up, but dont dwell on it, like you said plenty of fish in the sea. Honestly who cares if she saw you or not ? She sounds like a flake, keep your head up and you will be fine !

 

[Jay Fiedler]

Its simple...she met someone else or someone from her past came back into the picture.

He was over last night when you showed up....they talked..maybe had sex..she decided to go with him..and in doing so has dumped you.

I know it hurts..but there are plenty of others out there. Keep your chin up..and good luck.

 

[Zossima]

Originally posted by Royal-tiger
Enlightened souls,

I only saw her. As far as I can tell she did not spot me because I was at a distance. So unable to figure out I just left and did not visit the dance place.

Maybe she did spot you and had flashbacks of a former stalker.

 

[Royal-tiger]

Re: Re: Got dumped! But why?

Originally posted by Zossima
Maybe she did spot you and had flashbacks of a former stalker.

Just for the sake of argument, let us say you are right; in that case she should have confronted me seeking my explanation rather than just bail out. And that too with a voice mail! To me it sounds very judgemental without digging out the facts.

P.S.: All our interactions (since yesterday) have been with voice mail. And I am sure when I pickup my things tomorrow she won't be in sight. Talk about communication breakdown. And I still don't know over what.

 

[isotope]

maybe she was so freaked she doesnt care about the facts. Maybe she doesnt intend to accept whatever excuse you give. (i was afraid to knock.. whatevs)

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This hor is seeing someone else...for her to be so callous and to not end things face to face or at least have a phone convo but to leave only a voice mail, as an adult, is immature and cold. Hors have an uncaring and selfish attitude and you must treat them the same!

If she did see you outside she would have confronted you in anger for sneaking around or maybe she got upset because you caught her with another dude (at least she thinks so) and her cover was blown!

She is not worth an argument - be thankful that you know this callous hor for what she is!!

 

[Royal-tiger]

Quick update

Fellow DJs,

I went to pickup some of my things from her apartment this afternoon. As informed, they were put in a box outside her place.

Quite unexpectedly, she returned everything I had given her including CDs and a DVD player as gift. Included were photographs of us taken together.

Now, do you think she is DEFINITELY seeing someone else or just plain MAD over something I know nothing about?

For a loving woman like her, all this is very weird. All turn around in one day.

P.S.: After I got home, I simply left her a message for returning my thnigs with a short note stating she shouldn't have returned the gift items. I added that if she does not want to talk that's fine; however, it will be a good manner on her part to let me know what happened (by e-mail).