"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Got a Surprise Taking My Kid To See Santa

Desdinova

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I dumped my last gf about a month and a half ago. There were lots of good reasons that reared their ugly head in the last month we were together. I dated her for exactly six months before I pulled the plug. I walked away with very few emotional scratches.

Now my kid's been bugging me to take him to see Santa. So I figured I'd do it this morning before the line got too long. While we were standing in line waiting, we got to see Santa arrive.

It was my ex's dad :O

I knew he did the Santa thing for the malls, but he was apparently supposed to be doing a different mall in the city.

My biggest fear was that my kid would recognize him. After all, he's got an all-natural white beard. So I had two reasons for hauling my kid out of the line and booking it to another mall, but I didn't. And I couldn't do that to him. I figured what the hell, if he recognizes my ex's dad, that'll be the perfect opportunity to tell him that Santa is bull5hit.

So our turn came, and Santa did a double take. He smiled and accepted my kid for the picture. Once the picture was taken, he called me over by name, gave me a genuine smile, a handshake, and wished me and my family the merriest of Christmases. I paid for the picture and took my kid out to the truck.

I sat down, got all emotional, and my fvcking eyes welled up...

WHAT THE FVCK....

I didn't cry nothing when I dumped his dip5hit daughter. And here I am getting all fvcking emotional over seeing her dad.

He's a great guy, and I had fun conversing with him over the six months I dated his daughter. He was actually pushing her to keep me around so I could be his son-in-law. And here I am getting all fvcking messed up just writing this post.

WHAT THE FVCK....

I never cry over anything. Hell, I haven't even looked at the pictures I paid for yet. I don't think I can right now. Funny how I'm more busted up over not seeing her dad again than I am over the loss of her.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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dasein

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Cmon man, wouldn't bother yourself over it, he had a Santa suit on. You disappointed Santa and he still loved you, you were a bad boy, that is some deep subconscious lizard brain from childhood mojo there. I would likely react exactly the same.

Maybe you should have asked him for a new GF for Christmas?

instead of a hohoho.

Sorry couldn't resist.
 

Bible_Belt

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I think I'm as close to my gf's mom as I am my own mother. The day she helped my gf move out, she kept hugging me and crying, because it looked like we were breaking up. Her friends were all total b!tches to me, but none of her family were.
 

Desdinova

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bradd80 said:
do you associate any kinds of bad feelings or feelings of loneliness/isolation with Christmas. I know a lot of people do.
Not really. I had an extremely 5hitty Christmas two years ago, but that's not this year. I haven't had the slightest desire to spend this Christmas with a woman.

He seemed really happy to see me. Maybe it was the Santa suit. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I didn't get to celebrate Christmas as a kid. Whatever, it doesn't really matter. He was a genuinely awesome guy who needs to shove that Santa boot up his daughter's cvnt. I haven't thought about her all that much since I dumped her.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Des,
Never realised you are so sentimental...that's nice...but if that is your style,why the Fvuck want to tell your Kid the truth about Santa?...Ignorance is indeed a beautiful Flower LOL
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Moroder

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Ho ho hummm

Why shouldn't you be shaken up by meeting a man who was, I take it, a very nice and agreeable father figure for 6 months? LTRs are not just about the women, but about their families as well. Losing a potential father-in-law or brother-in-law can be troublesome if you connected with these men and liked them. Sometimes you can stay in touch with them and have a mano-a-mano, but more often than not losing these guys is part of the price of breaking up.
BTW, crying after such an encounter does not mean you're a crybaby but that this man touched something in you. Maybe you can figure out what it was, and maybe this will show you something about being a man/father that you want to be, too.
 

SoSuave666

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Des no one here is going to call you a pvssy for caring about your ex. Just call it what it is bro and then you can start to move on. Not only did you care about the ex but you cared about her POTENTIAL and what she could have been to you and your kid. It's the fact that she didn't live up to the expectations in your own mind that have you in this fvcked up place. You're allowed to have emotions man. Just own them and then start to move on. That's the only way.
 

Atom Smasher

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Just think of the joy and awe Santa used to inspire in us. He was god, deciding who was good and who was bad. He was omniscient and omnipresent. Only God could deliver gifts to every kid at midnight. Only God could possibly know if you've been bad or good. He represented ultimate goodness, kindness toward children, and unconditional acceptance. And when you went to sit on his lap, he always accepted you. He represented pure love. Santa touches some very deep chords in us.

I'm sure the Santa persona had everything to do with your reaction. Every once in a while I think of how I felt about Santa as a child, I mean on a gut level, feeling the emotion of it. Very powerful stuff, especially when one has a rough, unloving life at home, as I did.

It was perfectly natural for your reaction to happen.
 

Bokanovsky

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Desdinova said:
Not really. I had an extremely 5hitty Christmas two years ago, but that's not this year. I haven't had the slightest desire to spend this Christmas with a woman.

He seemed really happy to see me. Maybe it was the Santa suit. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I didn't get to celebrate Christmas as a kid. Whatever, it doesn't really matter. He was a genuinely awesome guy who needs to shove that Santa boot up his daughter's cvnt. I haven't thought about her all that much since I dumped her.
Sounds like your ex's dad is a great guy and you are touched by the fact that he harbours no animosity towards you despite the fact that you dumped his daughter. A fairly normal emotional human reaction.
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Doesn't sound like a bad thing at all.

The day I'll start worrying is if I ever stop feeling enough to not cry.

-Augustus-
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Peaks&Valleys

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Bokanovsky said:
Sounds like your ex's dad is a great guy and you are touched by the fact that he harbours no animosity towards you despite the fact that you dumped his daughter. A fairly normal emotional human reaction.
I would say this^. You're seeing an unconditional love/care from a father figure. Something that you recognize may had been missing from your life. It seems though, that you still are able to give your son what you never had.
 
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