Got a Retail Job to get rid of social anxiety, advice needed.

[DonChino]

Little background, I'm a full time college student that's socially inept. I blame that on being fat in high school, video games and not realizing how much of a loser I was. The obvious apply here of no "real" friends, virgin, etc. etc. That being said lets continue:

Like the title says I got a job in retail to FORCE myself to interact with people. I actually don't need the money, I'm literally doing it for solely social interaction. Said job is straight up talking to customers 100% of the time face-to-face. So far it really has helped tremendously in getting rid of social anxiety. I also make an effort to talk to any and all co-workers and nearly all are female so that's a plus.

Every day I go into work I make a mental reminder for a social goal. Like keeping an upbeat attitude, or being talkative/keep conversation flowing, being natural etc. So far it's going alright; I start the day upbeat but that attitude usually degrades somewhat.

What I mean about my attitude degrading is that I see EVERYONE with a significant other. Co-workers talk to them on their cell on break and customers are nearly always with them. I have felt like an outcast so much over the past few years. Observing stuff like this brings the feeling back since I don't know what it's like to have someone like that. I haven't seen a single girl that was without a boyfriend, it seems like everyone is taken.

This paragraph is not really related to work but, at times I feel I am too respectful and considerate to other people. I can see myself flipping a switch and just being a major ******* to everyone but I don't really want to go down that way and make it habit. This stems from that fact that since I don't get noticed when I'm nice and considerate, I feel I would get noticed if I'm rude and disrespectful.

I'm teeter tottering on a path I don't want to go down. I want to build friendships and relationships. I want to keep my like for humanity. I'm willing to change the way I USED to do things and try a whole new approach. So many experience happiness with friends and loved ones and I no longer want to spectate.

Here are a few direct questions. As I said I have no "real" friends, so obviously I want to fix this. How do I go from being friendly/talkative with co-workers to meeting outside of work and into the friend department. I really would like to develop a big social circle.

Being this is a retail store, I see a fair share of female shoppers that are around my age. Most of the time they are with boyfriend but occasionally they will be solo. Any tips on building something with this? After approaching them I don't know where to take it in the context that I also work there.

Don't limit answers to those very few direct questions, instead I would appreciate comments to anything I have said in this post.

 

[Dante420]

I think your gonna do great, you just need a little direction. Just read. . . .a lot. Since your already invested in increasing your social skill, you should work on your health and fitness. You say you were fat in high school, don't know what your looking like now but start hitting the gym and work on being a healthy person.

 

[1337]

Your doing fine just don't think about the couples you have no idea what's really going on in those relationships. So just get your mind of those things that bring your attitude down.

 

[Vice]

Dude, check out my other post, I think what I have to say can help you out, as well as the other post that I refer to in my post.

Volunteering and going to church is also a great way to build your social skills in a safe environment. It's also fun and builds character.

I see that you're taking ACTION by working at a retail store just to sharpen your social skills, which puts you MILES in front of most men. While you're at it, here's a few more easy things you can do:

Whiten your teeth with Crest White Strips (or go to the dentist to get custom made bleaching trays)
Hit the tanning bed (The people who work there will be more than happy to help you out)
Cut your hair shorter and keep it short, unless you want to look like a boy with that long hair.
Develop your own sense of style, but keep it masculine. No faggish Hollister
Hit the gym.
Do pushups at HOME. I do fifty inclined pushups when I wake up, fifty before lunch, and fifty before I go to bed.
Run and swim.