"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Got a number from a girl at the club, but unsure...

baurman

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I went to the club last night with my friend, and he met up with his friends (all girls) and this one particular girl I could tell was looking at me, and I kinda made eye contact with her smiled a bit, she came up to me and asked me "What's your name?" and then I never paid attention to her for a bit, I was talking to other girls. Then later on in the night, I talked to her a lil again and (when I was kinda drunk) and then I asked her to dance. So we went on the dance floor and started dancing and I was holding her, what-not..

After the club was done, me and my friend and her friends were all walking back to our cars together and then they were saying they wanna go to another club but my Friend wanted to go home. So I told her yeah I think we're just going home already. So I told her Next week, we can go out, let me get your number. So she gave me her number and I called her phone so she has mine.

Now my question is, do I just wait until next week to call her and just be like Whats up for the weekend? Or do I just call her and make small talk? I think she's a pretty hot girl and would like to eventually turn it into a ONS possibly. Just not sure what to do now. I always get girls numbers but then mess up afterwards and then she loses interest because she thinks I'm not interested. Honestly, the whole night until we started dancing, I never showed her attention at all even though I think she's hot. Don't want this to happen again.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Evolution

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Small talk first keep it short, establish yourself in her life. Then arrange for a meet up later.

Why aren't you showing any interest? If a girl is throwing herself at you, and you stick to your "hard to get" mode, then she's gonna get turned off and goto the next guy. You gotta reward good behavior.
 

baurman

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From bad experiences in the past...Whenever I show interest I come off as "desperate/needy" and I don't want that. Just from past experiences when I met a girl and showed interest I think I came off that way. So now I do it sparingly. I feel I showed her a bit of interest by dancing with her and asking for her number. Is it bad to live by the quote that if a woman wants to be with you, she'll find a way? Or would they just move on?
 
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Alphamale1821

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the thing is fellas i have learned from my experience that when a chick is definitely showing you IOI's if you haven't already you NEED to let your interest be known in some way. Whether it be through a complement, getting sexually explicit(through dirty talk) or simply making out. Strike when it's hot but still with a number close, i would start off with texting and let her know in some form that you are interested in her.

Me personally i'm more of a direct person and depending on my mood, the situation/venue and the company my "directness/boldness" varies. But i have learned that when a chick is hooked, it's best to start being more assertive/aggressive depending on the things listed above.

As for your quote here's the way i look at it. We as men want all hot women it's in our nature. However not every guy will get every hot women, even if we do all the work. However when you find a hot women who is giving you IOI's this is when you step up your game because ur chances of getting his hot woman increases because SHE has chosen you as a possible mate.

A woman can only make her self so available, you as the man have to be the one to make it happen more times often then not because if you don't it makes you look weak and not a suitable mate, thus she loses interest.
 

baurman

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Alright so heres an update on this.

I texted her earlier and said "hey what's up? had fun on saturday? too bad my friend wanted to leave. we might go out wed though if you all wanna go"

and she replied saying "Hey, how are you? saturday was fun, I had one too many different drinks. thanks for the invite but im not to sure if I can go on wednesday."

so I just responded and said "ya im good @ work right now, call u later"

So then I called her tonight and she didn't answer. Didn't leave a message or nothing.

So now, do I just delete her number and wait till she contacts me? If she doesn't then Next?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Effington

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Calling and not leaving a message = bad. If you don't leave a message, don't expect a call back. I don't return calls unless they leave a message. If it was important enough, they will.

I'd wait another week and invite her out when you are out with your buddies, if she doesn't come or suggest an alternative meeting then it's nexting time.
 

baurman

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I was thinking of leaving a message, but I always thought it was said not to leave a message for the mystery factor? Like she'll wonder why I called and gives her a reason to call back. Instead of if I left a message it lowers your chance of her calling back.
 

Connor99

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lol how the fvck do you guys ever get pu$$y making all this crap so complicated LOL It's beyond funny
 

baurman

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well she ended up calling me back. she was workin thats why she didn't answer. hehe. invited her out this weekend and she said she'll see. she has work & school so shes very busy. not sure if she's relationship material, but a ONS would suffice =)
 

PectoralisMajor

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'she'll see' = in girls terms:

IF I dont get a better offer, OR if I dont have anything better to do, I MIGHT come out.

dude you did GREAT getting the number. Where you have failed:

1) not kissing her / isolation at the club OR after the club
2) texting instead of phoning, plus your text was a little BORING
3) phoning later when you said you would, and NOT leaving a voicemail
4) Asking her out at the weekend, why bother?? just say that your busy x day, y day, but you might have some free time on z night, we should meet up...

YOUR LUCKY she called back. its because she took a shining to you in the club, BEFORE you even said a word. Your looks are carrying you this far, and your body language social skills are now HAMPERING you. LUCKILY you can work on your social skills no problem.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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baurman

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well, if she comes out this weekend to the club again I'll probably try and make out with her.

Right now im just unsure of how to escalate it any further. I called her 2 days afterwards and that's it already. I asked her for the weekend because we're probably going to go to the Club again where we met. Her with her friends and me with my Friend. I'll see her there. We'll see what happens on the weekend. If nothing then I guess Next.
 
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