"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Got a first date tomrrow

KneghtRyder

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-she described guys that interest her as 'personality is important, drive ambition, and considerate and caring ' etc

I am thinking of goin to get some coffee in the mall or something stupid like that..but basically I thinkin of turning on more my empathic understanding side..and just basically try to keep things light-hearted , crack some jokes as much as i can..but at the same time get her talking ...i fed her what shes wanted to hear from her description but i dont know how to keep her e.g. make it appear we're clicking so she'll want to see me again..hehe


any last minute suggestions.. ..oh last time , the first time i met her she almost invited me in ..so shes not a prude..but just to clarify..

if shes had a good time with me once, and twice, thrice i get laid right ?

I am thinking just to make sure she has a good time..

hehe
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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baffledking

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humour, my friend. humour.

cute puns work well: ex: wear a heavy jacket inside a cafe or mall or wherever until she asks "aren't you hot (in that jacket?) and simply reply, "why, thank you."

seinfeld type jokes are good too. they get her laughing, or chuckling, and are good conversation starters: ex: "Have you ever noticed..../Did you ever wonder..../One thing I can't wrap my head around is...."

Don't criticize her or her opinions but don't blindly agree with every thing she says either. let her know you disagree but be playful about it and ask her to convince you of her views.

If conversation turns political eg: Iraq/Global Warming/Terrorism etc...
steer it back to your personal lives and no matter what you are talking about, keep it positive! Don't get into heated debates about morality or religion as she will remember you in a negative light when she thinks about you. Make sure you get her talking about herself and encourage her with positive interest and an occasional compliment.

depending on your situation, you should be able to get laid on the first date, though only if it happens naturally, let's say, after a movie or dinner. you need to be physically comfortable with each other first, of course. are you looking to be in a "relationship" with this girl, as in, girlfriend material or is your primary concern with getting her into the bedroom? If it's keeping her as a girlfriend then no rush. If not, you need to be extra suave and make sure your evening/ day progresses physically and becomes more and more intimate as the date plays out.
 

DonJefe

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I am still a bonafide AFC (working on it slowly though!) and I blew a few first dates recently - for some reason I locked up, and acted too "serious". Your thinking/reasoning seems to be similar to mine, i.e. we both think things through too much :) Had I chilled out and just tried to enjoy myself I would have had much more success. If I did this all the time, I would be much better off too.

Just relax and it should go fine!
 
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