"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Got a call from a restricted number today

Rollo Tomassi

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Well done son, A+ for you.

PEN's right though, she'll blow up your phone inside of a week. You need to consolidate this though. That A+ will go to a D- if you backslide into seeing her after she starts calling again.

Now, just for analysis sake, lets consider this exchange:

Her: This doesn't mean you can go see other girls.

Me: I'm single. I can do what I want.

Her: Well if it happens it happens but I don't want you to go look for someone.
Essentially she's saying that she wants the option to ƒuck other guys with the assurance that you'll be an available fallback if what she has planned doesn't materialize. I wish this were more shocking, but it's almost expected from women these days. What IS important to consider is that this isn't even an afterthought for her. Her own duplicity doesn't even occur to her; she's oblivious to what she's asking and the shock comes not from her asking, but that you wouldn't agree to it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Dante420

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SamMalone said:
I answer: Hello?

Hey honey.

It's my girlfriend of a year that I've been thinking of breaking up with.

Her: I changed my number.

Me: Ok.

Her: I've realized I can't be with you right now. You're too controlling.

(Insert: She's bad about flirting with other guys, I've called her on it. She has also gone out one on one with guy "friends" and I said that's unacceptable)

Me: Ok.

Her: That's all you have to say?

Me: I have standards. I'm not going to comprimise.

Her: Well we need a break to think about things. You're not going to have my number for a while.

Me: I didn't ask for it.

Her: This doesn't mean you can go see other girls.

Me: I'm single. I can do what I want.

Her: Well if it happens it happens but I don't want you to go look for someone.

Me: I've got to go. Bye.

And I hung up. How did I do?
You really couldn't of handled that much better. Perfect. You came off like you didn't care and it didn't affect you either way, and frankly you let her know she's wasting your time. At the end there some would have said "You don't tell me what to do, that's exactly what it means" but in reality that would just make her think your getting defensive.


Keep us posted on this. TRUST ME this girl's planning every word out, I think she'll be annoying you sooon.
 

Rata Blanca

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Coooooombo Breaker!
 

AF77

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Man I want to buy you a beer, or ten. And make you my wingman. Good job bro.

Oh, and **** that *****.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Semtex

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Im jealous...you coldnt have done it any better, great job. And if anything, she's the controlling one. I mean, 'lets go on a break, but you cannot see others"...wtf, I bet she already has another man lined up
 

theunflushables

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That conversation should be framed as a piece of fine art. You gave her a complete 180 from what she was expecting. Well done!
 

SamMalone

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She came up to my work today. I was standing and saw her walking toward me. She gave me a playful shoulder bump and asked me if I could go to break so we could talk. I told her I couldn't because I was too busy (I actually did have a break to take, so I lied). She says "So will I see you tomorrow". I said "No". She gave me a sad face and said maybe the day after that and then walked away.

Still no phone calls or texts, however.
 

Drewskie

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Well done son, A+ for you.

PEN's right though, she'll blow up your phone inside of a week. You need to consolidate this though. That A+ will go to a D- if you backslide into seeing her after she starts calling again.

Now, just for analysis sake, lets consider this exchange:



Essentially she's saying that she wants the option to ƒuck other guys with the assurance that you'll be an available fallback if what she has planned doesn't materialize. I wish this were more shocking, but it's almost expected from women these days. What IS important to consider is that this isn't even an afterthought for her. Her own duplicity doesn't even occur to her; she's oblivious to what she's asking and the shock comes not from her asking, but that you wouldn't agree to it.
That, is an excellent breakdown. I wish i could put it so well in words.
 

KidwithSocks

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oh. my. gouuuurd.

You just made my day, you gave me the biggest grin.
You made light shine in my world
You gave me hope

good job :up: you couldn't of done it better.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Drewskie

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SamMalone said:
She came up to my work today. I was standing and saw her walking toward me. She gave me a playful shoulder bump and asked me if I could go to break so we could talk. I told her I couldn't because I was too busy (I actually did have a break to take, so I lied). She says "So will I see you tomorrow". I said "No". She gave me a sad face and said maybe the day after that and then walked away.

Still no phone calls or texts, however.
Hahaha, unless she works with you, coming by your work is a much stronger indicator that wants you back than a phone call. And for some reason, I have afelling you already considering taking her back, or hanging out wither, etc. Probably not a smart a move if so.
 

SamMalone

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Drewskie said:
Hahaha, unless she works with you, coming by your work is a much stronger indicator that wants you back than a phone call. And for some reason, I have afelling you already considering taking her back, or hanging out wither, etc. Probably not a smart a move if so.
I'm honestly not sure. This girl isn't ideal, but for the most part she is pretty good. She has problems of course but I haven't run into a girl that hasn't yet. Are there ANY girls out there that don't play these sorts of games?
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Women will sh!t test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman's big boobs. They cannot help it, and often enough, just like men staring at a nice rack or a great ass, even when they're aware of doing it themselves they'll still do it. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance / confidence. This is innate and 'hard-wired', not some random occurrence.

What had been her attempt to relegate you to her bullpen has now turned into a sh!t test. Basically you just spoiled her fallback plan and she's scrambling to reestablish the attention you were giving her previously.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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SamMalone

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So this will be every girl then? I'm wondering if I should bother giving her another chance. I wasn't planning on it, but if every girl is like this, why not? Either that or remain single forever, which I have no problem doing.
 

Ease

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SamMalone said:
So this will be every girl then? I'm wondering if I should bother giving her another chance. I wasn't planning on it, but if every girl is like this, why not? Either that or remain single forever, which I have no problem doing.
Sounds like your trying to justify excuses for getting back together with her. No-one here can tell you what to do with your life, and you as a man make your own decisions. We will still be as proud if you decide to get back with her. If you want to, then its your decision. Yes all girls are f'ed.

However, concerned by your tone, id say that if you do decide to 'give her another chance', be very cautious. Getting back together with a girl, or re-establishing long term interest in a LTR is a BIG deal. You need a BIG reframe.

I got back with an ex after a similiar break up. She tried to break up, then immediately regretted it. We got back together after her chasing a few weeks, we were great for a few weeks, then broke down after a month.

There was something wrong in your original relationship. A break up on her part is a thing that builds over time. This may have been you slipping into AFC, a general decrease in interest or a new guy. Whatever it was, the interest she has in you after you shot her down like a king is temporary. This was no ordinary **** test.

What im saying is, if u get back with her any time soon, be on your toes and your game super tight. Furthermore, all girls are interchangable, so finding a new one would probably be best.
 

AAAgent

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Women will sh!t test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman's big boobs. They cannot help it, and often enough, just like men staring at a nice rack or a great ass, even when they're aware of doing it themselves they'll still do it. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance / confidence. This is innate and 'hard-wired', not some random occurrence.

What had been her attempt to relegate you to her bullpen has now turned into a sh!t test. Basically you just spoiled her fallback plan and she's scrambling to reestablish the attention you were giving her previously.
Good point and true information.
 

SamMalone

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I'm not planning on getting back with her. In fact, I just took her christmas/valentines present back today. Nice amount of money back in my account. Just asking if I should expect this from all girls.
 

Drewskie

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SamMalone said:
I'm not planning on getting back with her. In fact, I just took her christmas/valentines present back today. Nice amount of money back in my account. Just asking if I should expect this from all girls.
Pretty much man, like Rollo said, they can't really help it.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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