Good woman despite all the red flags?

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

i am talking here about the woman from the other thread, that I lost due to wrong behaviour from my side.
She was very open and honest with me, she didnt hid anything from her past. I had a good feeling that she is a honest person and that she isnt the type that would lie or cheat. She also did everything she said she would do..

But despite my good feeling there were some red flags that were bothering me. Some of them were: She is bisexual and had experiences with other women. She was abused in the past and up to this day she isnt over it because sometimes she feels bad about it. She has a bad image about men in general. She never really knew her father. She has guy friends and doesnt get along very well with women. She is acting like a man often, using dirty language and being dominant.

I know that these are real red flags but anyway I was having a good gut feeling with this woman. Maybe I was blinded by her treating me well. Or is it possible that she is a good woman (with good I mean a woman you can have a healthy relationship with) despite all these things??

What do you think?

 

[blind_one]

Red flags everywhere, there is nothing much to add to that.
You need to get your sh!t together and get it through your head that she is low quality and you should stay away. No such thing as fixing a woman.

I know you might be tempted to ''help'' her out of ''sympathy'' but that is not a good course of action.

Move on.

 

[Killakittie]

No...onitis is setting in. Followed closely by rationalizing her faults, bad behavior, and ugly attitude. Stop now as the longer you brood over this the harder it'll be to move on.

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

 

[The Duke]

Hi everyone,

i am talking here about the woman from the other thread, that I lost due to wrong behaviour from my side.
She was very open and honest with me, she didnt hid anything from her past. I had a good feeling that she is a honest person and that she isnt the type that would lie or cheat. She also did everything she said she would do..

But despite my good feeling there were some red flags that were bothering me. Some of them were: She is bisexual and had experiences with other women. She was abused in the past and up to this day she isnt over it because sometimes she feels bad about it. She has a bad image about men in general. She never really knew her father. She has guy friends and doesnt get along very well with women. She is acting like a man often, using dirty language and being dominant.

I know that these are real red flags but anyway I was having a good gut feeling with this woman. Maybe I was blinded by her treating me well. Or is it possible that she is a good woman (with good I mean a woman you can have a healthy relationship with) despite all these things??

What do you think?

Having relationships with these types is very difficult. The points you are giving her for being honest will be negated 10-fold when the crazy comes out. I've had a few that had issues similar, but not as bad as this one you are describing and it was tough. I refuse to do that again. Everything you mentioned about her is bad news. But find out for yourself if you think we are all wrong.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Run Forrest run!

-Augustus-

 

[Billtx49]

Was involved with a woman like you describe a few years back. It took an incident of physical violence towards me, coming out of the blue, for me to realize I had a true head case on my hands.

Howiestern is right, the crazy will come out at some point in time, probably in the comfort stage when you least expect it. Exit stage left on that woman asap.

 

[The Duke]

Here's another piece of insight to keep in mind if you ever think about dating a crazy girl...You might be the calmest, most level headed guy in the world. You would never hit, push, yell, nor scream at a chic in a heated confrontation/attack. But I'm telling you, those crazy girls will push even the calmest guy to his snapping point and beyond. Keep yourself out of those situations by staying away from people like her.

You will find, most crazy girls have been beat up before. They just don't get beat up because they sat there whispering sweet nothings in some dudes ear.

 

[Billtx49]

Here's another piece of insight to keep in mind if you ever think about dating a crazy girl...You might be the calmest, most level headed guy in the world. You would never hit, push, yell, nor scream at a chic in a heated confrontation/attack. But I'm telling you, those crazy girls will push even the calmest guy to his snapping point and beyond. Keep yourself out of those situations by staying away from people like her.

You will find, most crazy girls have been beat up before. They just don't get beat up because they sat there whispering sweet nothings in some dudes ear.

That about sums it up Howie. My Ex was beat on by her previous guy. The one before him left her with complaints of being 'manhandled'. A complaint she joked about to me.
A man has to stay a solid gentleman and opt to leave her behind at that point.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That about sums it up Howie. My Ex was beat on by her previous guy. The one before him left her with complaints of being 'manhandled'. A complaint she joked about to me.
A man has to stay a solid gentleman and opt to leave her behind at that point.

They will use it as justification to beat men who are good to them.

 

[Billtx49]

They will use it as justification to beat men who are good to them.

That's part of it. In my Ex's case though, she also had a stepfather that raped her as a teenager and a mother that blamed her for it….
I honestly think she had an underlying deep seated hatred of men, or some type of PD.
Bottom line - Don't brush red flags aside or you may well regret it in the future.

 

[ZTIME]

Hi everyone,

i am talking here about the woman from the other thread, that I lost due to wrong behaviour from my side.
She was very open and honest with me, she didnt hid anything from her past. I had a good feeling that she is a honest person and that she isnt the type that would lie or cheat. She also did everything she said she would do..

But despite my good feeling there were some red flags that were bothering me. Some of them were: She is bisexual and had experiences with other women. She was abused in the past and up to this day she isnt over it because sometimes she feels bad about it. She has a bad image about men in general. She never really knew her father. She has guy friends and doesnt get along very well with women. She is acting like a man often, using dirty language and being dominant.

I know that these are real red flags but anyway I was having a good gut feeling with this woman. Maybe I was blinded by her treating me well. Or is it possible that she is a good woman (with good I mean a woman you can have a healthy relationship with) despite all these things??

What do you think?

The real question here is how poorly do you feel about yourself?

You are upset that a bisexual girl who talks like a sailor is dumping you because of your drunken anger issue.

Should you not be seeking advice on how to fix those inner demons who keep telling you that your personal value is low.

When you raise your personal value you attract higher value people.

No judgement, but you are posting threads about a chick you barely knew. And in this very thread you've painted her to be low class and low value.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Your "good gut feeling" is you rationalizing.

You were just looking for reasons to continue on a particular unhealthy path regardless of the evidence thrown in your face.

Once you're no longer emotionally invested, you'll look back at this and realize how right all of us were in telling you that she was a low quality woman.