good with girls, except Phone Game is my weakness.

[DJ Barcardi]

Hey guys, i have no problem with women, except for one. I suck at phone game! Im a really fun, confident, social guy in person, but put me on the phone and llsound like a broken AFC robot. I just don't know what to say, and im afraid o sounding dumb. I don't know how to start the conversation, or the rules, or what to talk about after the first date. Any tips or good articles? Thank you in advance.

By The way im DJ Barcardi.
When i was little i used to suck on titties. Now that im older im still sucking on titties.

 

[Allurre]

lol. I like how you phrased that... still sucking on titties.

Next time you call a girl, ask immediately "How are you?" "How's your day?"

Those questions alone are powerful enough to run a 5 min conversation.

As a rule of thumb, I don't recommend talking long over the phone.

Keep it short, have a purpose (connecting her to your next meet-up date).

Hope that helps.

 

[DJ Barcardi]

That was good advice Allure and i checked out you squidoo, its rather good.

Anyways my main problem is the butterfly in my stomach nervousness that i get when i het ready to call them. How do you deal with that? Im confident and ready to get loose, but im not in my zone.

 

[xdreamz]

for the butterfly stomach thats something natural u can't really stop it you just have to go through it and get the job done. find a spot where you can have a little bit of privacy and take control. ur a man, ur supposed to be in control of your self and on top of emotional situations like this. i would sometimes, since i have trouble remembering things at time, get out a pad and write down the things i would say or at least plan out how im going to DHV and game and close. short is sweet you don't have to ask her out everytime u call either. you can have the first call be just a normal convo kind of test the waters and the second call talk a little and ask her out. use little texts when you don't know if you should call her and use it to bait her into a one on one phone conversation. end the conversation as fast as you can once you set up a Day 2.

 

[Trader]

You actually *talk* to girls on the phone?

I just call them and set up the date - from my experience, it works better that way.

Talk to them IN PERSON.

 

[xdreamz]

yea thats good if you have enough rapport and connection built with them beforehand...but for me sometimes i meet these girls for just a few seconds a few minutes at the most so I still got to work on them just a little bit on the phone nothing fancy just basic people skills. yea ur right get the close thats what im focused on the most and have ur interactions mostly in person..true

 

[scribblec]

this is the same exact problem i have... its gotten better the more i gotten to know the girl because now theres more to talk about but at the start i felt the same exact things as the OP.

also its hard to constantly see someone instead of talking on the phone especially in a relationship... sometimes u wont be able to see them in person for a week or 2 so no contact till then? nahhh

 

[Willis]

you dont really need the damn phone...use it for telling her to take you out to eat somewhere...or sending funny text (dont o.d. on that ****)

 

[macallik]

It's kinda like talking to women originally. You gotta just keep at it til you get good. Don't sweat about quiet lulls in the convo either. Just go with the flow, or watch some tv with her if she is watching tv when you call like Cola suggests, here is his post that helped me with phone game.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158795

 

[WhtRbt]

Women use the phone to chat and gossip and whatever else.

Men use the phone to set up meetings and dates.

Stay off the phone, use it only to set up dates.

 

[COD]

?

PREP: wait a day or two, incorporate something from their profile, email conversation, social interaction, to form an emotional anchor. If you hang up when they answer you need to gain inner confidence.

PURPOSE: have a plan prior to calling, dates, time & availability. Have a contingency alternate plan just in case she denies your first choice. Never ask for a date directly, use subtle suggestions. Suggest meeting for a drink at a mutual place.

HUMOR: don’t be too rigid, avoid interviewing (name, rank & credit score please), keep it light hearted, fun. Avoid sexual innuendo’s, asking personal , specific details. If she asks you qualifying questions return with humorous answers, then tell her all questions will be rectified on the date. Give her a nic name and use it from the moment she answers!

SCREEN: this is where the primary screening process transpires on both ends. You have to act like you are the prize to win over and she is the contestant. Maintain control without being controlling. Remember she is also screening you. You want to reassure trust, friendship while being slightly mysterious, interesting and challenging.

CONFIDENCE: slow down your speech, keep cool, relax. Don’t ask, suggest, lead, be decisive. If you appear nervous she will sense it.

TIME CONSTRAINT: keep it relatively short, as the longer you talk the more you tend to babble.

SHE GIVES AN EXCUSE: now there may be times in which you are calling at a bad time, so she may have to call you back. If she says let me think about it, I will call you back to confirm, hesitates in any way, odds are she is giving you the run-a-round. Find someone that is sincere, fun, and wants to meet.

YOU: LISA?

HER: YES?

YOU: this is the man of your dreams calling?

HER: oh really !

YOU: nice tattoo, I never thought you would be the type to get a tramp stamp.

HER: hey that’s not nice, it’s just a rebel thing, I was young

YOU: don’t worry I know you are a Mary Poppins and your adventurous days are long gone, listen the reason I am calling is for my token date. I was thinking meeting for a drink around 8, tomorrow at xyz bar…you know where that is right?

YOU: OK I will call you tomorrow before the crack of noon to confirm the details………wear something sexy too!

Now there are some other variables you will encounter........voicemail, answereing machine, call screening, not her number, never answers, constantly rings, dropped calls, time of day, phone tag, texting, unknown caller, etc.

For today lets just do the above........info overload is a bit much to remember. Phone game TRULY IS ANOTHER SKILL-SET.

 

[DJ Barcardi]

PREP: wait a day or two, incorporate something from their profile, email conversation, social interaction, to form an emotional anchor. If you hang up when they answer you need to gain inner confidence.

PURPOSE: have a plan prior to calling, dates, time & availability. Have a contingency alternate plan just in case she denies your first choice. Never ask for a date directly, use subtle suggestions. Suggest meeting for a drink at a mutual place.

HUMOR: don’t be too rigid, avoid interviewing (name, rank & credit score please), keep it light hearted, fun. Avoid sexual innuendo’s, asking personal , specific details. If she asks you qualifying questions return with humorous answers, then tell her all questions will be rectified on the date. Give her a nic name and use it from the moment she answers!

SCREEN: this is where the primary screening process transpires on both ends. You have to act like you are the prize to win over and she is the contestant. Maintain control without being controlling. Remember she is also screening you. You want to reassure trust, friendship while being slightly mysterious, interesting and challenging.

CONFIDENCE: slow down your speech, keep cool, relax. Don’t ask, suggest, lead, be decisive. If you appear nervous she will sense it.

TIME CONSTRAINT: keep it relatively short, as the longer you talk the more you tend to babble.

SHE GIVES AN EXCUSE: now there may be times in which you are calling at a bad time, so she may have to call you back. If she says let me think about it, I will call you back to confirm, hesitates in any way, odds are she is giving you the run-a-round. Find someone that is sincere, fun, and wants to meet.

YOU: LISA?

HER: YES?

YOU: this is the man of your dreams calling?

HER: oh really !

YOU: nice tattoo, I never thought you would be the type to get a tramp stamp.

HER: hey that’s not nice, it’s just a rebel thing, I was young

YOU: don’t worry I know you are a Mary Poppins and your adventurous days are long gone, listen the reason I am calling is for my token date. I was thinking meeting for a drink around 8, tomorrow at xyz bar…you know where that is right?

YOU: OK I will call you tomorrow before the crack of noon to confirm the details………wear something sexy too!

Now there are some other variables you will encounter........voicemail, answereing machine, call screening, not her number, never answers, constantly rings, dropped calls, time of day, phone tag, texting, unknown caller, etc.

For today lets just do the above........info overload is a bit much to remember. Phone game TRULY IS ANOTHER SKILL-SET.

I love this! its maxfarenthide! I believe phone game is a skill set, and i love the way you outline you posts simple yet powerful suggestions. Thank you for answering, i am going to appy this. I still have another strange question:

Your not in the mood to call her, or the good show is on, but you told her you would call her and she said don't forget. She's waiting for it and you don't want to flake, what should you do to get in the mood to talk to her?

 

[DJ Barcardi]

How do you project your confidence over the phone... what topics do you talk about?