Good reply?

[dustmuffin]

I am playing 20 questions with a girl I have a date on Thursday. She is in training and most of the replys are in a few minutes. Some are not.

She asked me what my biggest fear and worry were. I said that I didn't worry because it served no purpose and that I wasn't afraid of anything. Then I called her a naughty girl for asking two questions. My follow-up was what is your fondest childhood memory?

Thoughts?

 

[Slash Dolo]

I don't like this response because it makes it sound as if you're trying to hard to come across as cool or badass. Everyone is afraid of something. If you hit it off with this girl and it gets serious and you scream like a biatch when a spider is crawling across your arm, it's going to look pretty bad. This is just an example.

 

[dustmuffin]

I personally think you're overgaming, which is common in the days and hours prior to the date. Tone down the wit and rhetoric. Save that for Thursday.

Thanks for the input.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree with Espi... let the game die out and become more scarce prior to the date.

As an aside, to zoom in on the fear issue, this is a prime example of how texting can ruin things. When she's with you and getting to know you, there exists tons of stimulus by way of the senses. Therefore if and when fears come up, your expression is diluted and also given within much more context.

But a text is like a permanent stamp or a branding iron. She registers a simple "he is afraid" and will assign HER OWN MEANING to whatever you expressed. She will often re-read the texts and women love to fantasize and go crazy emotionally embellishing everything you text to her. Doing this is part of the game for her, and she develops difficulty in discerning between what you actually said (and meant) and her own interpretation about what you said.

In text, it's best to deflect with humor. Tell her you're afraid that an automatically flushing toilet is going to suck you in or something outlandish like that.

 

[ubercat]

Agree with the guys. I think C&F is hard to use well, can easily blow your set and is not effective with women over 30. I d say comfort, rapport, and flirting r better in the early stages. Look carefully how 2 women who ve just met bond. This is more relevant to the date. Espi nailed it for the text.

 

[ubercat]

2 women:
Agree with each other (don't trigger threat response)
Touch each other on arm (stops strong -ve emotions developing as body beats words)
Keep going with conversational topic the other person s offered)
Rephrase their words to show attention and approval.
U do this for the first 10-15 and then spice up with Kino and emotional variation and it will often work. Not always. Sometimes the bear get s u.

 

[dustmuffin]

Thanks guys. She is over 30. I will tone it down. This information is very much appreciated.

 

[ubercat]

Heheh we need judge nismo but my unofficial verdict is now you've got too much to work on so go away and work on it for a good few dates. Go getem tiger.