Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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I'm after texting a girl I was dating after 1 week no contact... What would be the ideal text to send considering the situation ? Thanks
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Good opener text.. After NO CONTACT!
- Thread starter Aesthetix29
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
MOTU
Master Don Juan
I like to send a funny picture or a picture of somewhere I am, with almost no commentary. Their response will give you a good indication of their IL.
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Thanks... I would like to send her this text message within the next hour... So any advice on what to say would be aprechaiated... Thanks
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Come across this information and it states that the best way to re-initiate contact with a girl after doing NO CONTACT (1 week in my case) is to send a text saying
'Hey, How are you?'
Do you think this type of text is slightly boring good for initiating contact with her again ??
No contact Information:- (Dating)
How To Use The No Contact Rule When Dating
When A Man Suddenly Disappears On You OR When You Want Your Ex Back
Generally, the no contact rule is a 30 day rule. How to do this is, when a guy suddenly disappears on you without warning or breaks up with you and you want him to notice you again, you get his attention by suddenly disappearing on HIM – you make him experience the consequences.
It’s what’s best for him and you. That’s how you learn lessons in life, that’s how you learn not to repeat your mistakes and that’s how you experience personal growth and develop coping skills. And yes, they call them “growing pains” for a reason – they hurt. So expect it to hurt and brace yourself for a wonderful period of self-awareness and personal growth.
You disappear for 30 days. You do not take his calls. You do not respond to his texts. You do not communicate with him via social media. You do not communicate or respond at all, period, for 30 days. You stay gone and all he hears are crickets chirping in the dead of night.
After not hearing from you or receiving a response from you for 30 days, he'll begin to think this . . watch the video below, a song called "Madness" by Muse, and pay close attention to what this man is doing in these lyrics here - he's THINKING - about the WOMAN, and what HE did WRONG and how he's now READY to face the fact that he needs to LOVE:
Some woman most likely pulled "no contact" on his ass there.
So then, after a 30 day time period (30 days from the time you decided to use the no contact rule) and lots of time for him to think, you suddenly and without warning – resurface. And you do so by either:
1.) Finally responding to a question from one of his last communications (if he’s asked one)
2.) Simply saying, “Hello, how are you?”
And when communication is reinstated – you keep it short and sweet. You don’t share your emotions, you don’t cry, you don’t text back and forth like lightening for 5 hours and you don’t have long, drawn out 3 hour telephone conversations in an attempt to hash things out. You play it cool. You’re busy, you’re independent, you’re confident and you have a life. You “check in” is all. You make small talk and nothing more.
And from that point forward, you play it cool. You take an hour or so to respond to texts. You return calls a day or so later. You don’t accept last minute date requests, he has to make plans with you 3 days in advance or – you’ve already made plans (even if you haven’t, you pretend as if you have – remember, you have a life and you want to give him the impression that you’re busy, healthy and others desire your time as well). This is how you set healthy boundaries, earn respect and get him to treat you with fairness and kindness.
If he’s started out after the no contact period correctly but then suddenly relapses into bad behavior again, then you employ “behavioral mirroring” with him. If he disappears on you for 3 days, you don’t respond for 3 days. If he takes 24 hours to answer a text, you take 24 hours to respond. If he says he’ll call and he doesn’t, when he does, you don’t answer it and you respond to it 3 to 5 days later. And if he really begins misbehaving and taking you for granted again – you employ the no contact rule all over again for 30 days. This is how you create fairness and balance in a relationship and how you hold your own and you don’t get plowed over again.
'Hey, How are you?'
Do you think this type of text is slightly boring good for initiating contact with her again ??
No contact Information:- (Dating)
How To Use The No Contact Rule When Dating
When A Man Suddenly Disappears On You OR When You Want Your Ex Back
Generally, the no contact rule is a 30 day rule. How to do this is, when a guy suddenly disappears on you without warning or breaks up with you and you want him to notice you again, you get his attention by suddenly disappearing on HIM – you make him experience the consequences.
It’s what’s best for him and you. That’s how you learn lessons in life, that’s how you learn not to repeat your mistakes and that’s how you experience personal growth and develop coping skills. And yes, they call them “growing pains” for a reason – they hurt. So expect it to hurt and brace yourself for a wonderful period of self-awareness and personal growth.
You disappear for 30 days. You do not take his calls. You do not respond to his texts. You do not communicate with him via social media. You do not communicate or respond at all, period, for 30 days. You stay gone and all he hears are crickets chirping in the dead of night.
After not hearing from you or receiving a response from you for 30 days, he'll begin to think this . . watch the video below, a song called "Madness" by Muse, and pay close attention to what this man is doing in these lyrics here - he's THINKING - about the WOMAN, and what HE did WRONG and how he's now READY to face the fact that he needs to LOVE:
Some woman most likely pulled "no contact" on his ass there.
So then, after a 30 day time period (30 days from the time you decided to use the no contact rule) and lots of time for him to think, you suddenly and without warning – resurface. And you do so by either:
1.) Finally responding to a question from one of his last communications (if he’s asked one)
2.) Simply saying, “Hello, how are you?”
And when communication is reinstated – you keep it short and sweet. You don’t share your emotions, you don’t cry, you don’t text back and forth like lightening for 5 hours and you don’t have long, drawn out 3 hour telephone conversations in an attempt to hash things out. You play it cool. You’re busy, you’re independent, you’re confident and you have a life. You “check in” is all. You make small talk and nothing more.
And from that point forward, you play it cool. You take an hour or so to respond to texts. You return calls a day or so later. You don’t accept last minute date requests, he has to make plans with you 3 days in advance or – you’ve already made plans (even if you haven’t, you pretend as if you have – remember, you have a life and you want to give him the impression that you’re busy, healthy and others desire your time as well). This is how you set healthy boundaries, earn respect and get him to treat you with fairness and kindness.
If he’s started out after the no contact period correctly but then suddenly relapses into bad behavior again, then you employ “behavioral mirroring” with him. If he disappears on you for 3 days, you don’t respond for 3 days. If he takes 24 hours to answer a text, you take 24 hours to respond. If he says he’ll call and he doesn’t, when he does, you don’t answer it and you respond to it 3 to 5 days later. And if he really begins misbehaving and taking you for granted again – you employ the no contact rule all over again for 30 days. This is how you create fairness and balance in a relationship and how you hold your own and you don’t get plowed over again.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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^^^ thanks got your reply... I understand that's the case if I'm trying to get over her..which I'm not.. I'm trying to do the push/pull method as I came across a bit needy (inner beta) etc... So I've given her a week of no contact to give her some space.. I now want to make contact again, but I'm not sure if you read through my other thread about my situation but I thought i came of as needy... But after speaking to my cousin this weekend she thinks it's because last Saturday I went to another girls house for a party (the girls are my friends but very attractive) and the day after they were all writing on my Facebook about the night etc.. And my cousin thinks that she's seen this and got jealous or thinks I'm doing stuff with these girls... Which is not the case they're friends only.... So now I want her to know that it's her I want.. So need to put the chase in... Do you agree ? Thanks
Thundernuts
Senior Don Juan
Well the Facebook thing can work in your favor so long as you keep your frame. If your going to send her anything just keep it simple and do not send another txt. Ever. U wait for her to reply If she never does delete her number
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Ok so I'm just going to send this:-
'Hey Jenny, How are you? X'
And see if she replies to it... It's 10.15am now should I send it now or wait till later tonight ? Thanks for all your advice
'Hey Jenny, How are you? X'
And see if she replies to it... It's 10.15am now should I send it now or wait till later tonight ? Thanks for all your advice
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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TARKUS it wasn't late at night I'm in the UK buddy!
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Ok message sent.... 'Hey name, sorry I've been busy... How are you doing? X' just wait and see if she replies now.....
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Ok she's just replied saying... '���� I'm good thanks you ! X not sure why she's put the crying with laughter faces (Emoji) tho... Would you say she's still interested... Surely if she wasn't then she wouldn't of replied ?
MOTU
Master Don Juan
She could have replied out of politeness.
I wouldn't have said your sorry in your opener, btw. Just the "how are you" would have been fine.
But do try my picture method. A pic of a cold beer with a comment "it's beer-thirty" or some muddy shoes "why do people think I am a dirty boy" or anything you can come up with. I keep an inventory of pics for this purpose.
I wouldn't have said your sorry in your opener, btw. Just the "how are you" would have been fine.
But do try my picture method. A pic of a cold beer with a comment "it's beer-thirty" or some muddy shoes "why do people think I am a dirty boy" or anything you can come up with. I keep an inventory of pics for this purpose.
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Yes I think you was right motu... I messaged her back but kept the message just normal banter.. Catch up as i didn't want to jump straight into flirting.. And she's not replied since I sent it.. So yes I think it was more out of politeness! Oh well! I'm going to make a start on reading the book of pook tonight see if It helps me up my game..! I'm such a **** when it comes to texting haha! Big changes are being made after today, I mean I'm a good looking lad (in a good way.. Not being big headed) pretty muscley, tanned etc... I really just need to improve my personality... In a big way! So any words of wisdom will be welcomed !
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
bukowski_merit
Master Don Juan
You NEED to be trying to get over her. It's dead fish man.... Stop dreaming a bout dead fish. I told you the best chance you have is at the cookout or whatever you'll both be at next month.... Show up with a hot woman under your arm....Aesthetix29 said:
And you're still being needy.Aesthetix29 said:
A week of no contact with a woman with low-interest = she'll just move onto other guys. Live her life.
The only time no contact really works in getting a woman back is when she doesn't have other options; had high-interest (in which case you'd be doing it if she had really bad behavior about something.) No contact is meant to get you over women. No contact + Other new women = the best medicine for getting over a woman. It is NOT the best medicine to get a low interest woman interested again. It's.... A blessing to them (and you.)
Jealousy is not the issue. Low-Interest due to needy behavior is.Aesthetix29 said:
PS: All your threads are about this girl. You're talking to your cousin about this girl. You probably can't stop thinking about this girl.
This is oneitis.
Unfortunately, it rarely works like that...Aesthetix29 said:
My #1 piece of advice is work on neediness. It's the #1 reason women lose interest (even if they are originally acting needy as well).
Aesthetix29
Senior Don Juan
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Mate i 100% agree.. i just kept getting mixed signals off her but i put it down to her spinning plates (well thats just a rumour ive heard) But im done with this girl now. Well im trying to get a date sorted with this other girl whos a 8/10.. so see how that goes! And yes i know im needy i have no idea why really as i never used to be.. only since coming out of a 6 year relationship 2 years ago! im definetly going to work on that.
Thanks for the advice buddy... i do apprechiate it, Onwards and upwords from today
Thanks for the advice buddy... i do apprechiate it, Onwards and upwords from today