"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Good online Openers

The Daddy

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Ok, so you are on udate. You want to send out a few messages.

What are your most effective openers?

The Daddy
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Skydiver43127

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Totally agree with Shezzler. I try some online stuff from time to time, since I'm stuck on the computer at work anyway, but the result is whole levels worse than live approaches. It's not just the openers - it's from having just words to communicate your personality, down to not having visual proof to qualify the girl on.

I believe for every 10 normal girls you can get live, you can get 1 for the same time online.
 

The Daddy

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I've had quite good luck meeting girls online. But it is heavily scewed in favour of the girls. i.e. lots of blokes and fewer women.

So, I have joined 4 dating sites. It's a numbers game. Sometimes I get emails without any effort whatsoever.

I remember seeing a book online somewhere about how to master the online game but I don't want to pay for that knowledge. Just wondered if there are online players here.

The Daddy
 

blueangel83

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I'm a female and I rely on online dating because most of the men in my area are not my type, aside from having a busy schedule.

Thanks to online dating, I was able to pull gorgeous men that I probably would never have had the chance to meet. The internet works for men who have a busy schedule and cannot afford to go to bars, clubs etc... the internet helps them find potential dates at the comfort of their home office etc... Also, you can pick or reject with just a click of a button lol.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ER!C L!VE

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Jesus christ.

Let's live and let live. Online dating works. It really, really does. Why do you folks care how someone meets another person?

Anyway, effective openers:

Notice something about her profile and comment on it.

Also, she gets 100's of emails per day.. make yours different. The subject header is key.

Unique Subject Headers. Instead of Hi or [No Subject] try something like: Choppin Broccolli or Something in a foreign language, or anything unique to catch their attention. Also, if their from a certain city, mention it, or if you know something on topic about her interests, mention that in the header.
 

Q-Pid

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Much like the real world - a good opener is "hello" or the much favoured modernist "hiya/heya". Sometimes the "a" suffix can be dropped for a more formal "Hey/hi" - the latter of those two options also having the -ya"" removed because the English language sucks and is overly phonetical.

"How are you doing?" is often a good follow up, much like in the real world. Sometimes the "are" or "doing" can be dropped alternately to provide faux variety in an overly generic message. Much like the aforementioned modernist example, the dropping of words and simplification of expression is much more colloquial.

...Dude just say HELLO! :D
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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Thats a pretty bad strategy to just open with hi or hello. Its too comfort building.

She probably gets 500 messages a day that start with hi how are you.

Do something different.
 

KarmaSutra

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The one and only opener I use now, Either online or streetwise, is: "Pardon me, I had to tell you that you're the second most beautiful woman I've seen today." (beat) " Um . . .wait. Actually, you're the third most beautiful woman I've seen today aside from my Mother and my Grandmother."

Then I excuse myself and go back to what I was doing or where I was headed to. I've yet to have a woman not follow me or ask to talk to me later . . .
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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