good-looking guy delima

[andrewsap]

Here's the situation: I'm fairly good-looking, so often the ****y-funny stuff comes across as "He's a f_cking a_shole." Now, this wouldn't bother me if it only happened every so often. Thing is, it happens more than I am comfortable dealing with. I don't like playing the numbers game. It's draining and takes all the fun out of meeting ppl. So how can I tone down the ball-busting AND qualify women at the same time. I almost can't make myself come across as a weakling. I'd rather not approah than live with that. So how do I find the happy medium? Any ideas?

 

[tmpgstx]

I feel the only way is to use your strengths to your advantage. In this instance, good looks is a big advantage but often becomes a major dis-advtange when using C&F as you're already assumed arrogant and get lots of attention before you even open your mouth.

Good-looking guys often have MORE problems with girls than guys that are average. Many girls are intimidated (unless there is some social connection). Some of the more insecure ones actually show disdain towards good-looking guys as if to say "i'll never get him (and even if i did he'll eventually dump me) so am not going to feed his already big ego. I'm going to totally ignore him" and it's blatent. It's a different story when they're *really* drunk though as that flys out the window and they're on you bigtime.

You have to use it to your advantage by being approachable and choosing the right type of girl. A girl that is not only confident but stable with her life and her inner self emotionally. By being the *prize* you are using your looks to your advantage. A girl that really *likes* a guy will stop at nothing to let him know - either indirectly through friends and hints or some are a bit more forward to the point they'll make it real easy for you to ask them out.

 

[The Juan and only]

Failing that, I'm sure there are 100s of ways to make you less attractive.

 

[OfficeSpace]

I think I used to scare girls away cuz I was so hott.. lol seriously though..

 

[backbreaker]

the key isn't being less attractive, you have to learn how to make people feel at ease around you... it's like when you meet a hot girl and when you talk to her you see she is easy going and open, it casues you to open up

 

[tmpgstx]

That be the ticket .. it has followed this pattern for me with girls i encounter frequently:

Purposely look straight ahead when passing them by several times when first seeing them:

I'm think "dam, what a bytch".

Later, they'll stand beside me more and stay around me *hovering* until i say something. I do and it's all good.

Later on, seeing them again they start saying hi first and then asking me questions to just ask .. increases from there. I make the small talk but don't esculate it for fear that they are just an AW without a cause. I want to make sure i get sex (so the signs have to be like slap me in the face - but am changing this) before i make any moves because i hate to lose!

 

[The Juan and only]

Originally posted by backbreaker
the key isn't being less attractive, you have to learn how to make people feel at ease around you... it's like when you meet a hot girl and when you talk to her you see she is easy going and open, it casues you to open up

I was joking btw but good advice

 

[Rex Man]

Yeah, backbreaker hit it. If an hb9.99 came up to and made you feel at ease, you would eventually stop looking at her as hb9.99 and start looking at her as (insert name).

 

[john_1234]

when i first started, i made the mistake of using way too much c/f. i didn't know better and david d, in his advanced series, says that there "is no limit" with the c/f. wrong! from my experiences, there is a limit and it's not necessary to constantly come up w/ c/f **** all the time. i had to learn the hard way & crashed/burned w/ a couple of hotties because i overdid the c/f.
only use c/f as a spice. don't listen to david d when he says there "is no limit" because there is. you'll come across as a complete arrogant dumbass if you do it too much.
the main things to work on are body language, voice tone, and story telling.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
I feel the only way is to use your strengths to your advantage. In this instance, good looks is a big advantage but often becomes a major dis-advtange when using C&F as you're already assumed arrogant and get lots of attention before you even open your mouth.

Good-looking guys often have MORE problems with girls than guys that are average. Many girls are intimidated (unless there is some social connection). Some of the more insecure ones actually show disdain towards good-looking guys as if to say "i'll never get him (and even if i did he'll eventually dump me) so am not going to feed his already big ego. I'm going to totally ignore him" and it's blatent. It's a different story when they're *really* drunk though as that flys out the window and they're on you bigtime.

You have to use it to your advantage by being approachable and choosing the right type of girl. A girl that is not only confident but stable with her life and her inner self emotionally. By being the *prize* you are using your looks to your advantage. A girl that really *likes* a guy will stop at nothing to let him know - either indirectly through friends and hints or some are a bit more forward to the point they'll make it real easy for you to ask them out.

Good looking guys do NOT have more problems than average looking guys.

They get so many better returns on approaches.

I have this friend who's ridiculously good looking and always ends up getting the girls that I want at parties.

 

[theSpeculator]

Originally posted by backbreaker
the key isn't being less attractive, you have to learn how to make people feel at ease around you... it's like when you meet a hot girl and when you talk to her you see she is easy going and open, it casues you to open up

Exactly. Just try to act friendly when you approach a girl. Believe it or not, being friendly actually shows a lot of confidence.

As for the David DeAngelo's C&F, I think it's a lot of bull. C&F should be used in a way that is natural and shows confidence and playfullness. The way David DeAngelo uses it sounds more like arrogance. C&F is basically just teasing and joking with a girl in a lighthearted attitude. Just tone down your C&F from sounding arrogance to just teasing and joking. Also, you have to know when not to use it and start being more serious.

backbreaker, I've been following you for a while. It's nice to know there is at least another guy here that knows what he is talking about.

 

[tmpgstx]

Good looking guys do NOT have more problems than average looking guys.

That's the social connection i was talking about (your friend and parties). I can see in that context - especially if he does the approaching.

The greater the attraction, the greater the fear of rejection. It's not rocket science though we like to make it this way.

 

[backbreaker]

actually, being funny is the best thing you can do to get in a girls pants... not rotuine funny.. just funny. I am not ****y... I am sure of myself but I let that be seen though my actions, not though my words


Perfect example... girl I was with all yesterday, had a couple of guys call her while she was over my ho use.. no big deal, I mean we did just meet, and we are kicking it... what good does it to for either one of us for me to get all railed up about her "talking to other men"..lol, I haven't put a ring on her finger... plus, when she leaves, you think she is the only girl I am going to be thinking about?

She said "i apologize" and I told her something to the likes of, oh you are fine, I could care less... she asked why, and I told her basically if I wanted her to myself she would be mine.. and i wasn't being ****y.. I ment it.. if I wanted her, really wanted her over everyone else I know, she would be mine...

That type of ****iniess stands out wayyyyy more than the guy at the bar doing some type of lame ass routine that a girl can see though..

Instead of ****y & Funny, it should be self-assured and funny

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I'm well above average, tall, muscular etc. I do not EVER use c&f. Throw that out the window if you are decent looking. Use funny by all means. Smile alot. Put her at ease.

Talk to her like she was any other person. It's important that you ask alot of questions and find common ground. Don't make ANY sort of advances too early or she'll think you're a player/dawg.

Act nice and charming, but remain aloof and detached. I've been using this method and have had several women actually make the first move on me.

Trust me, it works.

Some of you good looking dudes are trying way too hard. You don't need all of the methods on here, believe me. If you just talk to them like they're another person, and show that you are a trustworthy man, then you can just take your foot of the gas, so to speak, and let your looks work for you.

You basically need to show you're a decent guy without acting like a wimp.

So, if you're a good looking dude:

Aloof detachment PLUS smiling PLUS funny PLUS lot's of questions PLUS convo MINUS hitting on her or making the first move too soon MINUS ****iness EQUALS her practically ripping your clothes off.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Oh yeah, I should add: Guage her interest level and add in a little playful teasing at the right time, without being insulting.

 

[MetalFortress]

Here's the situation: I'm fairly good-looking, so often the ****y-funny stuff comes across as "He's a f_cking a_shole." Now, this wouldn't bother me if it only happened every so often. Thing is, it happens more than I am comfortable dealing with. I don't like playing the numbers game. It's draining and takes all the fun out of meeting ppl. So how can I tone down the ball-busting AND qualify women at the same time. I almost can't make myself come across as a weakling. I'd rather not approah than live with that. So how do I find the happy medium? Any ideas?

Turn down the ****y and turn up the funny. I'm very good looking and have never experienced probs being too ****y - it's all about balance.

 

[Chillisauce]

Your problem may be that your not infact too good looking and intimidating women with your looks, but rather that you think too highly of your looks and come across arrogant/****y. Ever seen those HB7s walking around with their noses in the air thinking they are 10s? Could be you buddy. I have this problem, think waaaay too highly of myself (it has a few benefits at least)

 

[Mr. Unique]

Maybe you're ugly, have you thought about that? You could see yourself as this guy with male model looks but they could see you as this nasty slob ron jeremy. My advice.. Get glasses


im just kidding, but yeah most girls find a really goodlooking guy intimidating