Good insults/comebacks and trash talk that you guys have used?

[flyingpanda505]

After watching some heckler videos on Youtube, I was really impressed with just how comics can think up such witty insults on the spot and convey their dominance. For those times when people call you out and your sick of (I dont go looking for trouble) and you feel like giving them a verbal ass whooping, what are some good pieces of reading material you can read to get those creative and witty juices flowing for insults? What are some of the favorite ones you've used and heard?

 

[LostAndConfused]

Oh my god I make thousands of these. Whenever a girl starts to shoot me down I make sure I bite back even harder. Heres just one example....in some guys earlier thread about dancing I wrote down three that I've used before in the past. This one girl at my school, who really isn't that attractive, but for some reason I hadn't spit game at a girl in a while so I thought, why not try on her.

When I neg her, she says "Why are you even talking to me?"
I replied (and now half the girls at my school think im a total @** hole for this):

"Your right. Why AM I talking to you? I might as well go to the bathroom and start talking to my d*ck because it would be a whole lot more interesting to talk to plus it would actually be productive at something more than wasting space."

:EDIT: Then I think I said something else to make it bite more but honestly I forgot what it was, sorry! I think it was something along the lines of "it would be a longer conversation anyways, if you know what I mean" *wink wink*

 

[Potbelly]

Dude, for girls it's so easy. They are shallow and you can exploit this.

"You're a fat ugly b1tch. The only way someone could have sex with you is if they paper bagged your head, and were in a fvcking COMA. You'd have to do all the work though, that is if you can lift your FATASS off the ground."

Then you can crush her even more by poking a fat roll and saying, "c'mon let me see you squeal like the pillsbury dough boy. squeal c'mon now."

Mean? I don't care. If she says something mean, you crush her.

For guys:

Just say something like "why are you talking? you sound like a damn woman. Seriously, do you even have a penis? Is it that time of month? Shut the fvck up and go shove a tampon up yourself."

 

[Bonez]

The guilt trip






You believe that?


Really?

No way, if thats true, I ain't ever going back with you. No matter what. I'm going to ruin you, and your job, your boss, your friends, and your family life. **** you. If you want to **** with me, I'm going to do the same to you, except what I say is true. You will be found for the rip off artist you are, and so are the rest of your friends...


Thats my best insult...

my friend pulled it on me tonight, so I let it snowball to another friend. This **** is going down right now at my job, and its 40k a night thats going to be thrown out the window if we don't get our **** together... its a damned great comeback that has peoples ****ing lives on the line... and its already gone away... like any insult should.

L and C, You understand. No insult is meant to burn for days. Its only reaslly meant to last for as long as it has to.

Potbelly, edit your post now.... or... yeah... edit your post now. Your ****ed in the head,

 

[KarmaSutra]

"Dishrag cvnt" seems to do the trick. You have to look her square in the eye and mean it. A wry wink just before you turn to walk away seals the deal.

 

[Bonez]

"Dishrag cvnt" seems to do the trick. You have to look her square in the eye and mean it. A wry wink just before you turn to walk away seals the deal.

Take it from a 34 year old man on a website designed for picking up women.

"dishrag cvnt"

Seems this man has worked a few more demeening jobs than he's needed to. A man like this deserves to pull this kind of ****...

but do you? I'm sure you'd rather have a playful come back?

"You're only saying that because you want me"

 

[KarmaSutra]

Take it from a 34 year old man on a website designed for picking up women.

"dishrag cvnt"

Seems this man has worked a few more demeening jobs than he's needed to. A man like this deserves to pull this kind of ****...

but do you? I'm sure you'd rather have a playful come back?

"You're only saying that because you want me"

Look how "Please ma'am may I have another?" is working for you.

"Dishrag cvnt" is the greatest of all comebacks because there is no recourse.

Take it from a 27 year old man-boy who declares his immaturity as virtue.

 

[KontrollerX]

I agree with Karma.

I've used the dishrag insult myself and its always so satisfying when applied to someone whose gone out of their way to earn the title.

 

[Mr. Wolf]

After watching some heckler videos on Youtube, I was really impressed with just how comics can think up such witty insults on the spot and convey their dominance. For those times when people call you out and your sick of (I dont go looking for trouble) and you feel like giving them a verbal ass whooping, what are some good pieces of reading material you can read to get those creative and witty juices flowing for insults? What are some of the favorite ones you've used and heard?

In my signature click on techniques, tactics, and then AMOG tactics. Be it girl or guy you are amoging.

The secret? Stop taking life seriously. There are two parts to people, rational, the thinking part, and the emotional part. Don't talk to their rational part, nor let them invoke your rational part. The state where you're thinking but not really, and hitting only emotional stuff, such as during amog, I call that playarish.. Just like anything else you can't read and become master, practice, get shot down, get bruised, get better.. Just like riding a bike.

 

[ready123]

When I neg her, she says "Why are you even talking to me?"
I replied (and now half the girls at my school think im a total @** hole for this):

"Your right. Why AM I talking to you? I might as well go to the bathroom and start talking to my d*ck because it would be a whole lot more interesting to talk to plus it would actually be productive at something more than wasting space."

haha that's funny as hell

 

[mrRuckus]

What's a dishrag cvnt?


Really. what's the dishrag part mean?

 

[Potbelly]

How am the fvcked in the head? lol. Bonez have you never made a girl cry with words? Had to beat them didn't you. Violence aint the solution bro. Don't hit women.