Some dates can last 5 hours and there are bound to be moments where the conversation lulls. I know you should be comfortable with this but ideally you want to have a set of some cool things to talk about when this happens. Any ideas?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Good date discussion topics?
- Thread starter tomato
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Whenever I hit a lull in the conversation, I usually play a game with the girl. The Cube can take up to 20 minutes if you really delve deep into it, though I think it's a bit too serious to use early on.
I have this application on my iPhone called Table Topics ($0.99). It's a list of about 100 conversation starters or questions meant to find out about the other person. I swear by it and it's helped me over and over again. The girls love it.
Here are a few sample questions:
"Who's your all-time favorite late night talk show host?"
"What food is hardest to eat in moderation?"
"When was the last time you embarrassed yourself in public?"
"Do you have any superstitions?"
"What's the perfect age?"
"When was the last time you went skinny dipping?"
These questions (especially ones like the last one) can sexualize a conversation very quickly. Girls LOVE talking about themselves, so make sure you answer the questions too and keep a leading/dominant frame. You can even go on a tangent if you have a good story to tell.
If you don't have a smart phone, grab two pencils and two pieces of paper then have her take the "Compatibility Test." Girls love tests. Tell her she needs to get a 40% to pass. (She'll laugh at the ridiculously low threshold for compatibility. Make up a reason why the number is so low) Write out 10 questions beforehand and hide them on a sheet. Show the first question, and using the pencils and paper, you both answer secretly. On the count of three (this is very important as it creates tension), reveal your answers and talk about why you wrote what you did. Have fun. Erase and do the same for 10 questions. Qualify her based on her score.
I have this application on my iPhone called Table Topics ($0.99). It's a list of about 100 conversation starters or questions meant to find out about the other person. I swear by it and it's helped me over and over again. The girls love it.
Here are a few sample questions:
"Who's your all-time favorite late night talk show host?"
"What food is hardest to eat in moderation?"
"When was the last time you embarrassed yourself in public?"
"Do you have any superstitions?"
"What's the perfect age?"
"When was the last time you went skinny dipping?"
These questions (especially ones like the last one) can sexualize a conversation very quickly. Girls LOVE talking about themselves, so make sure you answer the questions too and keep a leading/dominant frame. You can even go on a tangent if you have a good story to tell.
If you don't have a smart phone, grab two pencils and two pieces of paper then have her take the "Compatibility Test." Girls love tests. Tell her she needs to get a 40% to pass. (She'll laugh at the ridiculously low threshold for compatibility. Make up a reason why the number is so low) Write out 10 questions beforehand and hide them on a sheet. Show the first question, and using the pencils and paper, you both answer secretly. On the count of three (this is very important as it creates tension), reveal your answers and talk about why you wrote what you did. Have fun. Erase and do the same for 10 questions. Qualify her based on her score.
good conversation should come naturally. and naturally you should asking questions about her.
The one question I always ask on a date "do you have any artwork on your bedroom walls?" and usually you can take it from there.
I think you might be putting a little pressure on yourself to come up with something to talk about.
If you are thinking about it to much, maybe an action date would be better for you. like bowling, 8 ball, go carts. so even if the conversation goes a little dull, you have some action to keep the date moving forward.
The one question I always ask on a date "do you have any artwork on your bedroom walls?" and usually you can take it from there.
I think you might be putting a little pressure on yourself to come up with something to talk about.
If you are thinking about it to much, maybe an action date would be better for you. like bowling, 8 ball, go carts. so even if the conversation goes a little dull, you have some action to keep the date moving forward.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
First you need to devote a few minutes to reading up on important current events: http://www.people.com/people/
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
Teach her something. Read the news. Know what is going on in the media. (News wise, not celebrity wise.)
ARrocket
Master Don Juan
Did you know that one donkey power is roughly 0.335 horsepower ?
Boom. Instant conversation you can take wherever you wish.
Boom. Instant conversation you can take wherever you wish.
women haze
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2009
- Messages
- 484
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LOL what are you trying to do? Date her or Bore her?PrettyBoyAJ said:
No offense man I agree with you, but honestly it depends upon the chick you are seeing...
Even the Intelligent one's get bored after a few rounds of the McGlauphlin Hour with Women Haze...
Gotta keep it positive and fun for me that is hard to do, but that is what they like..especially if you have something in common.
I remember a post by a SoSuave legend called Dr Beard who claimed he spent an entire date talking about his dead gran. 
I think he got rejected.
Generally, I like to start with quite trivial getting-to-know-her topics, asking questions about work, hobbies, favourite music and movies etc. Once the barriers start coming down, some of the best topics are thing like dreams, psychology and spirituality. Women love this sort of thing and it will separate you from most guys as they will think of you as a deep person. Listen to what she has to say and relate to it, and she will start feeling a deep bond with you.
It's not easy to transition into these "deeper" topics. You have to build some rapport first, but it's always made for a great date discussion.
I specifically remember the one date I had, we started talking about dreams and I decided to share one of my most beautiful and profound dreams with her. She looked at me with awe, hanging on every word, and at the end of it she told me it took her breath away. She then told me some of her greatest dreams. Not only was it a great topic, but it put us both in a really happy and magical state of mind.
I think he got rejected.Generally, I like to start with quite trivial getting-to-know-her topics, asking questions about work, hobbies, favourite music and movies etc. Once the barriers start coming down, some of the best topics are thing like dreams, psychology and spirituality. Women love this sort of thing and it will separate you from most guys as they will think of you as a deep person. Listen to what she has to say and relate to it, and she will start feeling a deep bond with you.
It's not easy to transition into these "deeper" topics. You have to build some rapport first, but it's always made for a great date discussion.
I specifically remember the one date I had, we started talking about dreams and I decided to share one of my most beautiful and profound dreams with her. She looked at me with awe, hanging on every word, and at the end of it she told me it took her breath away. She then told me some of her greatest dreams. Not only was it a great topic, but it put us both in a really happy and magical state of mind.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
PapiChulo
Master Don Juan
I talk about sensual topics, traveling adventures, and sex. Ask her what the craziest or naughtiest thing she has ever done.... etc. You have to listen for the most part anyway, just start probing with fun questions and she will reveal a bunch of things about herself.
First album she ever bought with her own money (guaranteed chuckles).
Favourite cartoon she watched as a kid.
Where she had her first kiss.
I've used these as gap fillers with dates, work colleagues, and my male friends; the result is always the same, people love spilling their guts about this stuff! They're innocent enough questions but deeply personal all the same. I'm sure everyone can think through the implications of having her dig through some of her favourite childhood/teenage memories in your company.
For the record:
****tail: The Motion Picture Soundtrack. I cannot begin to explain this one, I think I bought it solely for Kokomo....yeah, that's still an inadequate explanation.
The Mysterious Cities of Gold. Totally had a crush on Zea, never mind the fact that a giant golden condor is aerodynamically impossible.
In an orange grove outside a freakin' roller disco baby! Textbook stuff.
Favourite cartoon she watched as a kid.
Where she had her first kiss.
I've used these as gap fillers with dates, work colleagues, and my male friends; the result is always the same, people love spilling their guts about this stuff! They're innocent enough questions but deeply personal all the same. I'm sure everyone can think through the implications of having her dig through some of her favourite childhood/teenage memories in your company.
For the record:
****tail: The Motion Picture Soundtrack. I cannot begin to explain this one, I think I bought it solely for Kokomo....yeah, that's still an inadequate explanation.
The Mysterious Cities of Gold. Totally had a crush on Zea, never mind the fact that a giant golden condor is aerodynamically impossible.
In an orange grove outside a freakin' roller disco baby! Textbook stuff.
Thanks great ideas!Jariel said:I remember a post by a SoSuave legend called Dr Beard who claimed he spent an entire date talking about his dead gran.
Generally, I like to start with quite trivial getting-to-know-her topics, asking questions about work, hobbies, favourite music and movies etc. Once the barriers start coming down, some of the best topics are thing like dreams, psychology and spirituality. Women love this sort of thing and it will separate you from most guys as they will think of you as a deep person. Listen to what she has to say and relate to it, and she will start feeling a deep bond with you.
It's not easy to transition into these "deeper" topics. You have to build some rapport first, but it's always made for a great date discussion.
I specifically remember the one date I had, we started talking about dreams and I decided to share one of my most beautiful and profound dreams with her. She looked at me with awe, hanging on every word, and at the end of it she told me it took her breath away. She then told me some of her greatest dreams. Not only was it a great topic, but it put us both in a really happy and magical state of mind.
Yeh the dream idea sounds really good once you have some comfort, could you give details on the dream please? I cant think of any crazy ones that would be fun. Also what do you talk about in the dreams - do you do some kind of "cold reading" on them or do you have a system for interpreting them? How do you relate to them?
Also how about on a date with a gf/ex gf where you already have deep comfort, what kind of things do you talk about there - just the same stuff - how do you keep it different and interesting if you've talked about that stuff 100 times before?
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
I'm African American so I could talk aboutwomen haze said:
1. The Jordan incident. (Stampedes to get shoes. and how its crazy.)
2. Kobe Bryant (Getting a divorce from his wife)
3. How the whole Kardashian wedding was fake.
4. Talk about how they portray black history in a bad light (How the movies like the Help and The Blind Side portray pet n*ggas).
All this stuff is recent news and really intresting stuff to talk about. Next month it will be totally different stuff. Keep yourself educated brothers.
patrick.de
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2011
- Messages
- 38
- Reaction score
- 2
conversations became much easier and better flowing once i realized that not everything i say has to be super important/correct/interesting.
even when you say something trivial she has the chance to pick something out of it and tell you something interesting. girls love to talk anyway.
it's more important to speak loud and clearly and not mumble in some imaginary beard. when you mumble people get annoyed and even interesting things lose quality when delivered in a bad package. talking nonsense but loud and clearly will get you better reactions instantly. you did a good job when you never had to repeat something because she couldn't understand you.
even when you say something trivial she has the chance to pick something out of it and tell you something interesting. girls love to talk anyway.
it's more important to speak loud and clearly and not mumble in some imaginary beard. when you mumble people get annoyed and even interesting things lose quality when delivered in a bad package. talking nonsense but loud and clearly will get you better reactions instantly. you did a good job when you never had to repeat something because she couldn't understand you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Patrick makes two really good points, I particularly like the one about the value of "trivial" conversation. The "tell me about yourself" line of questioning is total BS, that's not how people learn about each other. Rather than deliberately talking about ourselves and our boundaries and values, we talk about "stuff", and our individual character is made known through the way we talk about that stuff. I'll go so far as to say that the process probably works best when the "stuff" isn't too serious.
I remember sitting down on one date, making myself comfortable, and the female company (a tiny, albeit ball-breaking business women) has blurted out "So Wilko, tell me about yourself", I laughed and said "hey amateur, that's not how this works". I promise you it was justified, mostly
I remember sitting down on one date, making myself comfortable, and the female company (a tiny, albeit ball-breaking business women) has blurted out "So Wilko, tell me about yourself", I laughed and said "hey amateur, that's not how this works". I promise you it was justified, mostly