She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
No, no, no, no, no.... These are suggestions on how to get to know a woman once you gain some level of rapport, not how to approach one.
Do you understand nouning? It doesn't work on approaches, it only works once you gain rapport. And even then it's just another way to illicit additional information once an opening is made.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Take note of her environment and what she's doing. Think "what kind of girl goes to and does so-and-so?". Look for props too.
Good suggestion but remember that you want to create a comfortable environment between the two of you. The best way to do that is to find commonalities between the two of you. What might that be? Not her environment but your shared environment.
Well... so initial convo is destined to be a chit chat without eliciting her values, interestd and hobbies.
Yes, think of chit chat as the beginning of an Infomercial. It gets your attention and engages you but after a minute or two it is easily understood what's for sale. At that point you need to really engage them and infer value or else they will get bored and change the channel.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Yes, this what I am wondering about: after a small chit chat, what would be a good way to engage them and infer value?
You create questions from what you discern from your chit chat. Remember, BE INTERESTED.
I know that. It is obvious. Whta is not obvious is how to tune them in order to elicit her values and interests? Any idea?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
It is cool to hear this from someone who knows the concepts well has experience applying. Not thinking that you know if all seems to be the primary difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence being much more attractive. You'll always improve if you continue to learn and share.
I’m in the office and I have this girl, looking at me now. Think I like her, with her physical appearance, smile etc… I once talked to her, asking what kind of work she is doing, suddenly this man infront of me is looking at me and I think his getting jealous. After a while, this man is confronting me if I like the girl in an angry voice.
Stay calm. It doesn't sound as if the guy has actually said anything to you so he's a non issue, let him flip his lid if he wants to, it's not your problem. Talk to your girl, she's a grown woman and will tell you if she's not interested.