"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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gonna see an ex a week after breaking up, how do I handle it?

duke104

Don Juan
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I'm going on a ski trip this weekend with some friends and it just so happens that my ex, who I broke up with a week ago, is also going. We only dated for about a month so it was nothing serious but the relationship ended abruptly over an argument we had when we were both pretty drunk.

I haven't made any contact with her since early last week when we ended it. I'm fine about the breakup, not hurting or anything, spinning plates with other girls, but I would be open to getting back together with her since the relationship ended so abruptly.

My question is how do I handle the situation when we're gonna be around each other? I know to play it cool and not pay attention to her; I've never really been in this situation so I'm open to any advice. Thanks guys.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Uncharted

Master Don Juan
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Since you are going with your friends, treat her like just another friend. You don't worry about how your friends are going to feel when you treat them like friends, so you shouldn't worry about this.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Ugh, not the "being around an ex" scenario!

Well, on the plus side, since you were the one who broke it off, chances are she's going to feel just as awkward, if not moreso. And, chances are, she's going to try and play it cool just like you, which makes this an LoL situation all around.

However, the worst thing you could do is try to ignore her. I'm not saying you should be going out of your way to start a conversation with her, or purposefully flirting with other girls in front of her to make her jealous - that's not the way gentlemen play, maaaaaan! But if she talks to you, talk to her back - it's okay to treat her like you'd treat any other friend that you hadn't dated, no need to be rude to her.

Now, about the "getting back together" thing - not a good idea. The same reasons you broke up with her are going to still be there, and once you get back into it, that thing will pop up again eventually and you'll be like "oh, NOW I remember why I broke it off with her." Best to just say "adios" to this one and focus on starting a relationship with someone else. It doesn't matter that the relationship ended abruptly - that's now MOST relationships end - and you don't owe her a few extra weeks/months of a relationship that's going to fail anyway. If you're already arguing with her about dumb stuff now, it's only going to get WORSE later on. In effect, by ending it so soon you dodged quite the bullet, which you will thank yourself for later on.

Anyway... hope this helps!
 
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