"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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gonna see an ex a week after breaking up, how do I handle it?

duke104

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I'm going on a ski trip this weekend with some friends and it just so happens that my ex, who I broke up with a week ago, is also going. We only dated for about a month so it was nothing serious but the relationship ended abruptly over an argument we had when we were both pretty drunk.

I haven't made any contact with her since early last week when we ended it. I'm fine about the breakup, not hurting or anything, spinning plates with other girls, but I would be open to getting back together with her since the relationship ended so abruptly.

My question is how do I handle the situation when we're gonna be around each other? I know to play it cool and not pay attention to her; I've never really been in this situation so I'm open to any advice. Thanks guys.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Uncharted

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Since you are going with your friends, treat her like just another friend. You don't worry about how your friends are going to feel when you treat them like friends, so you shouldn't worry about this.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Ugh, not the "being around an ex" scenario!

Well, on the plus side, since you were the one who broke it off, chances are she's going to feel just as awkward, if not moreso. And, chances are, she's going to try and play it cool just like you, which makes this an LoL situation all around.

However, the worst thing you could do is try to ignore her. I'm not saying you should be going out of your way to start a conversation with her, or purposefully flirting with other girls in front of her to make her jealous - that's not the way gentlemen play, maaaaaan! But if she talks to you, talk to her back - it's okay to treat her like you'd treat any other friend that you hadn't dated, no need to be rude to her.

Now, about the "getting back together" thing - not a good idea. The same reasons you broke up with her are going to still be there, and once you get back into it, that thing will pop up again eventually and you'll be like "oh, NOW I remember why I broke it off with her." Best to just say "adios" to this one and focus on starting a relationship with someone else. It doesn't matter that the relationship ended abruptly - that's now MOST relationships end - and you don't owe her a few extra weeks/months of a relationship that's going to fail anyway. If you're already arguing with her about dumb stuff now, it's only going to get WORSE later on. In effect, by ending it so soon you dodged quite the bullet, which you will thank yourself for later on.

Anyway... hope this helps!
 
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