Golden Advice On Long Term Relationships (LTRs)

Gold Heart

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#1
I have been in LTR's all my life. That's just the way I am. I prefer them over everything else. And ever since I have come across this site, I started to experiment with everything I learned.

After years of experimenting the correct mindset on an LTR, I discovered plenty of ways to keep your relationship as fresh as possible. I went from getting tired of each other at 3 months, to still being fresh at 2 years. Right now I'm in a great relationship with a great girl, we are still strong to this day. It's a great feeling, and now, it's my turn to give back to this site. :)

*******************

My best advice for high school kids is not to get involved in LTR's if possible. But you can if you really want to. I am not stopping you. Just letting you know that 99.9% of the time, no matter how beautiful, hot and sexy the girl is, you WILL become tired of her, 110% guaranteed. The sex will become boring though she can be the kinkiest of the kinkiest, the talks will cease to be fun, and you will just become tired of it or too used to it. You will be tired of her, but here are some tips to keep it strong for years, and slow down the development of the disease: "getting used to each other."


1. Only see her once a week. There are exceptions here, like if there are emergencies, but every other time, always be busy with something else. You don't have to be out with other people, maybe you could be at a gym, working, balling at the park. ANYTHING. Just don't see her any more than ONCE A WEEK or you will be bored by the time you have been together for one year, and that's if you're lucky. Also, don't see her every Saturday, or every Monday, etc. Switch up the days. Let her come out with you on different days. You can also skip a week or so, but then see her 2 days of the next week. Just don't become monotonous.

2. Have a variety of things to do when you two go out. Switch it up every single date, don't do the same thing twice. If you find something that was fun to do, don't do it twice in a row; do it again after a few dates.

3. Movies are good SECOND dates. This doesn't really have to do with LTR's but I wanted to show a different perspective to movies. At the high school level, movies aren't as bad as this site makes it out to be. After a lot of talking and asking around, I've realized that many girls take a date to the movies as A MAKEOUT SESSION. So after a successful first date, (complete with kino, laughing and fun,) bring her to the movies. Hold her hand, cuddle her, and while you do that during the flick, eventually start caressing her face, look into her eyes. This gets her warmed up and bubbly. When she looks at you, keep that eye contact up and GO FOR IT. If you turn away, you have passed the first frame of opportunity, and you will only confuse her. "I thought he brought me here to make out." Yes, that's what they are thinking if they are interested. And make sure you are more exciting than movie. You don't want to end up watching it. I suggest seeing a movie that is not too good. Come in early for the movies, so that you are already kissing by the time the movie starts. Whatever else you decide to do is up to you.

4. Absolutely NO MONTHLY GIFTS. Say you two declared yourselves boyfriend/girlfriend on Jan 1. On Feb 1, don't give her a gift. On March 1, don't give her a gift either. Absolutely nothing, even if she gives you. Do not make a big deal of monthly passings, because it will only take away the "special" feeling of the 1st year anniversary.

5. Flowers on Valentine's Day?. Always, if you plan to be with her for a long time. HS girls like the attention of carrying flowers through the school hallways, saying that you got it for them. A teddy bear? Only if you think it's appropriate. Don't do anything more than that though.

6. Don't talk w/ her on the phone before going to bed. These are the worst. This is what I did to make a LTR boring after 6 or 7 months. I am actually surprised that I wasn't bored after a week with consecutive talking. AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS. You can say you are on a special muscle growth diet and you must sleep at a certain time for it to work. AVOID TALKING AT NIGHT. Once you start it up, it stays. Trust me. If you stop doing it, all you will hear is "How come we don't talk at night anymore?"

7. Don't talk to her the minute you wake up in the morning. It's the same exact thing as #6, except this is when you have the phone by your bed, and then you wake up, call her, and say good morning before taking a shower.

8. Don't see her/talk to her if you are on your bad side. Only let her see the good side. Don't let your image be tarnished by bad temper/grumpy days. She will probably still like you even after she sees your bad side if she really digs you, but let her see you as the "perfect man", not the "almost perfect man."

9. Anniversary gifts? Yes. 1st year shouldn't be too special, something sweet but not too expensive. Jewelry with both of your names on it is a charm. Keeps her guy-classmates off of her too ;) As the years progress, let it get better and better. Just don't go from a small ring to a Mercedes. You're only setting precedents by buying her expensive things. They can even be tickets to concerts of her favorite singer.

10. If she cheats, she's done. Absolutely no exceptions, even if it's been 10 years! Once a cheater, always a cheater, is what I like to say about dis-loyal women.

11. If she flirts and makes you jealous, don't cry about it. Always handle these situations with caution. Don't come off like an idiot. Just say she meets a friend and is really flirty with him. Interrupt her in mid-conversation with him. Say something like "Oh, so you're the FLIRTY type huh? I thought you was better than that." And shake your head, tsk tsk a little, kind of surprised, but NOT EMOTIONAL. Don't get emotional, don't let it show in your face, don't look disappointed. Just laugh it off, but at the same time, give a subtle message that you are completely turned off by it. Whatever you do, don't go for that kiddy "revenge" crap. Doesn't get you anywhere. Hell, you might even change her ways, it's happened to a lot of my girlfriends. They stop doing it and get very loyal.

12. Don't get caught in her girl drama. If her best friend did this, did that, took the last good dress in the store, DON'T LET HER TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT! Honestly, that is the worst thing I have to say about girls. The overreacting, and that they have to talk about every little detail. Don't get stuck in it. If you're on a date, listen to her completely and agree with what she has to say. Disagree if she was wrong though. She'll love you for that. When she pauses for a bit, CHANGE THE SUBJECT INTO SOMETHING MORE POSITIVE AND FUN.

13. Absolutely no letters. No notes, no letters, no anything. Unless it's your anniversary, ABSOLUTELY NONE. Not even on monthly passings. The only exception is if the letter involves a surprise gift or something like that. But otherwise, no.

14. Be fair. Don't make her do something that you wouldn't do yourself. Just say that you ask her to give you head. Reciprocate. It makes her more eager to give it to you.

Another example: This is a not so good example, but here goes. You ever had a girlfriend who kept "memory boxes?" and had old boyfriend material in them? Like love letters, movie ticket stubs, etc.? Of course, all of them do. Just say you had one too. You told her to throw it away. Do not tell her to throw it away, if you would not do the same. Always be fair. It shows a good moral man in you. And if you're planning to take it all the way, her parents will appreciate those things.


My last advice, I'm repeating it again. HS kids, you shouldn't have serious relationships if at all possible. When college hits, you will have a very hard time keeping your relationship going. Women will be everywhere, and the last thing you want to do for your girls out there is cheat. Don't ever let cheating be an option for you, ALWAYS dump your girl first before moving on to another. Your reputation will plummet if you cheat on a girl you agreed to be exclusive with. Plus, her cute friends will all hate you.

And one more very important but very much overlooked fact: don't be another girl's side thing. Don't let her cheat on her man, or be an influence to her cheating on him. This will tarnish your rep with BOTH guys and girls. In the end, we are all like brothers. We should be looking out for each other in such a nasty world. Don't let your fellow brother get played.

I hope this helped all of you. Even if you may not agree with my views, I am sure you've picked up some ideas from this. Only follow it if you want to pro-long your relationship. Just keep in mind that if you do follow this, you must be a very fun person to be with, because she will be more suseptible to cheating, because she is seeing you less.

Good luck with your relationships. If you've got a good girl, don't let it become boring, let the best in the both of you last.
 

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Eternal

Master Don Juan
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#5
Originally posted by Gold Heart
Can a mod move this to the Tips forum?
If it gets moved, I'll add it to the bible.

Before people yell at me...I am NOT a mod for the HS forum...So don't ask "why didn't YOU move it?"
 

comic_relief

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#6
relax crazy but...

good thing you said that. But now down to what I thought of the post.

A very good post.

I think that if you put this with Anti-Dumps posts you will get a winning combo (weeding out and LTR advice for after the first couple months and LTR advice).
 
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#7
Good article man. You know your **** for sure. Just one question, since you say to see them only once a week IF POSSIBLE, it's best to avoid dating girls in your class or int eh workplace right? Because I'm going to be going to college, and I'd like to work on some girls in class.
 

Gold Heart

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#8
^ Avoid dating people from your workplace. Always.

This is because it's easy to come across them in your workplace. You will be distracted by her presence.

On campus, it's OKAY. Not the best choice but it's okay. When she talks about you to her friends, they already know who you are, and they will know your business. Girls tell EVERYTHING to their girlfriends. Especially fights. And keep in mind that if you're a "keeper" in her eyes, she will trash talk about you to make other girls not interested in you. Yes, believe me when I say that. It's happened to me a lot. And if you two ever break up you don't want her cute friends over you because you've been trash talked.

No matter where you go, rumors spread fast. They spread slower at college than high school (high school was the worst with rumors.) You want to be the talk of the town of course, but you don't want every girl finding out how you perform in bed. You want to keep that a secret for when they meet you for themselves. ;)

So basically, if you really just HAVE to date someone in your college, you can. It's not a sin, but just know that it's more work. You have to make sure your image is always in par. Your reputation must be good. You can't walk around campus looking sad or worst, looking at the floor! Always have an air of charisma around you. Say hi to everyone, smile. No goofy smiles, just a confident smile. If you have the same class, always take over the discussion, show her you're more than just an animal in bed. Show her that you're a man on a quest for knowledge in life. Brains AND brawn. Always be surrounded by people on campus, girls AND guys. She might get a touch of jealousy, but when she mentions it, hear her out, just be sarcastic and tell her not to be so jealous just because you have more friends than she does. (sarcastic, ****y, funny....otherwise you will turn out to look like an asshole.)

Workplace on the other hand? Never. You hear it everywhere: "Love and family don't mix, like two ****s, you'll find your self in serious shit." Actually that's from Biggie Smalls, but there are plenty of quotes that are similar to this.

Family, yes it includes girlfriends. Anyone who enters my life is automatically considered family, because I don't mess with aqcuaintances. You only say hi and mention MY name if I have ALLOWED you to enter my life.

Just don't tell her she's like family, or IS family. Guys aren't the only ones who freak out about the thought of marriage ;)

Thanks for the comments, any more questions, just ask. I rushed this post but I think it's clear enough for you.
 

Evil-Rom

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#10
This is a GREAT post, hope it is added to the LTR section of the bible. :)
 

ThEFuRy

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#11
Originally posted by Evil-Rom
This is a GREAT post, hope it is added to the LTR section of the bible. :)
Agreed.

Thanks alot Gold Heart, its some really useful information, especially as im nearing to beginning an actual relationship with a girl (i usually dont go for relationships, she does though).

Fury
 

Eternal

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#13
*Sigh* Freaking Matrix, BBB, and misunderstood??...Someone move it!
 

ThEFuRy

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#17
Originally posted by babemaster2000
then why have they not added this excellent thread to the "Bible"?
Its only one thread and its still here for now isnt it? The Matrix: Reloaded has already made a post informing us all about the new bible he is working on, im sure that it will be appearing in there. I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but they also have other things to do and work on. Have some patience :)
 

Eternal

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#18
Originally posted by babemaster2000
then why have they not added this excellent thread to the "Bible"?
Do you realize how many "bibles" are floating around on this site right now? The mini-bible, Matrix's, Dario's, Lorenzo's, mine in Discussion, Nich's at the top of the site (now managed by me.) Give things time...Only 2 of the above bibles are active. Until Matrix's new one comes out.
 

Alen-Delon

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#20
dude i have to disaggre on somethings you say... first off... why should you see your Gf ONce week... if you love her or like her a lot... its a human nature that you wanna spent time with eachother if you try to avoid any time spending with her... then what kind of relationship is that.... your in relationship your suppose to enjoy each others company and be happy when you see her.... like you say it gets boring after a while its all up to a person... if person is boring no matter how hard you try you cant help it... it will get boring .... what can you do when it does.... Move on... and try to built up new relationship that wont get boring.... theres people you wont bored with no matter how much time you spent with em.... thats the kind girl you need to seek for... if i love a girl i wanna see her at least 4 5 times a week... ya know..... dont try to make someting work that isnt worth a while.... the whole point of relationship is spending time toghether and enjoying every moment of it.... dont have that feeling that it will get boring... have fun with it let it flow.... if it gets boring that it meants you aint meant to be toegether and you move on....
i dont know thats just what i think.....

Peace !!
 
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