Going to university

[LifeIsAChallenge]

So guys, I once had a thread in here. I had that stupid nickname (AGuyWithAProblem), and I did nothing but complaining there. In one sentence: I was really desperate and lonely, but I improved somewhat on many fronts, without having any success with women. The topic has since disappeared and I decided to make new one now when I'm going to university... I know this is supposed to be a high school forum, but I hardly consider myself to be a "mature DJ".

I didn't do much during the summer, except for exercising and working on my two passions - freestyle rapping and writing fiction, and you know, I recognized that I'm a pretty damn talented guy. Believe or not, but I’m really making progress in this rapping stuff and I believe that in few years I will be one of the best in Poland. I also wrote two short stories, and I think the newer one is pretty decent. I don't know if this stuff will help me get chicks, I suppose it won't, I do it for my own fun anyway.

But I've read some stuff by Neil Strauss who said that he met a lot of rock stars and rich guys who had problems with getting women, so I know that talent and/or money doesn't get anywhere in that matter. The truth is that I'm still neurotic, egocentric and I lack organization and leadership skills. That is just being honest with myself, really. I try to work on my mental, but I wish it was as easy as improving my body (which seemed like a such hard thing back in the days when I was fat and slow) and I could just get safe mental workout. And saying to myself that the problem doesn't exist won't make it disappear, I must believe that I can defeat it step by step.

I've read some of the summary of Blueprint by Tyler, and it's good stuff, but I disagree with some of it - it says that we should act the way we want and not care about people's reactions... Well, if I really didn't care about what people think of me, I would act like a caveman psycho. I also will try to do stuff described in Strauss' "Rules of the game", cause that's a pretty good book from what I've read.

Anyway, in two weeks I'll be moving to a new town to study, and I'm very excited about this. I'm sure I will have a lot of social success there, because now I know how to act around people, I dress well and I'm just generally positive. I just worry that there is big trap I'll have to avoid. You know, women always avoided me, so I'm afraid that now that I'll be getting some friendly attention, I will be acting overly thankful to any girl that will like me and that's not good. And when I'll get a girlfriend, I may become totally *****-whipped. I mean, my 13-year old tells me what to do in house, and when I want her to do something, I can only yell at her, which only makes matters worse. But honestly, she is smarter and more responsible than me, and she's just a little girl! Man, that kind of stuff kills my self esteem, even despite of the fact that I have most of the outer stuff in check. I’m just so submissive, because almost every time I do something on my own, I **** up and people are disappointed in me. I’m a talented, sociable and fun guy, but I really need to grow up, and that **** scares me. I had to get that stuff off my chest, cause ****, I can finally LIKE myself, but I still can’t really RESPECT myself. I can act confident, but that will be just a façade. To be truly confident, one needs to earn the right to confidence.

Anyway, a new chapter in my life will begin in two weeks, and I’m pretty sure I will have more fun than Rebecca Black on fridays in spite of my countless psychological issues (maybe I just need some therapy). I will be writing posts from time to time when I’ll feel like I need some advice from all you younger but more experienced guys.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Improving yourself is like working out. It may seem hard, waste of time, and you might wonder why you're doing it; but it's just then that you start to see the results. Bodybuilding isn't a one-day thing. It's a long-time commitment. Same with improving yourself and getting the girls you want. Expect setbacks, but dont ever condemn yourself.

Post your height and weight. If you're a tiny bit or more overweight; start working out.

Continue doing what you love. Do things you're passionate about.

Read some books.

Remember that working on yourself is mainly putting yourself in challenging situations. It's a win/win.

Remember that you should always take things with a pinch of salt. Use common sense. Of course you wouldn't not give a **** and go caveman on girls in college. You might do that on a night out in town. "Act the way you want; not the way people expect, or want you to." Don't do things because you care what people think of you; do things because you want to do it. This is very key, and very hard.

Now you start showing your confidence issues. Hell, I don't give a damn if I know more than you, or if I've hooked up with more girls than you! Why should you care? IT DOES NOT MATTER. Tyler was a ****-up of a man until he was 21 and started seriously improving himself. Take a stand; you're a hero from the very act.

I think therapy is just an excuse. Why would indulging in egoitic self-indulgence help on your self-esteem? Maybe it will make you realize that you have to get organized, make a plan and get happy. I think you do not need therapy at all. You just have low self-esteem for the moment. I'd love to see you after a good night out. Your views will probably change a lot.

Go into college with an open mind. Try to be positive. Try to be socially proactive, even if it means that you have to enter seemingly awkward situations and challenges. What's life without a risk?

 

[LifeIsAChallenge]

I do workout and run. My weight is 169.4 pounds and my height is 172 cm. I need to lose some weight, but it used to be much worse.

Stuff you wrote is cool. I'm pretty optimistic about my success, I mean, there are some so many cool people I can meet... Abundance mentality, you know!

 

[NewspaperRalph]

perfect timing!! I just created a website 2 weeks ago dedicated to university students. take a look at it! http://leelincoln.com/blog

 

[LifeIsAChallenge]

So, it's just a week left until I will become a college student.

I've looked in the mirror today and I realized that I finally started to like the way I look. I've lost some weight and bought some cool clothes from second hand shop. I have also dealed with one rather nasty health problem (I don't feel like talking about it, but it was really harming my confidence). One think I'm told I should do is getting rid of bushy brows and penil hair. The problem is that I REALLY don't feel like doing that. It's probably gonna be very painful.

The other thing is body language. I'm trying to project a confident image and stand straight, but some people told me that I'm overdoing that. It seems that when I try to look confident I look like some tough guy wannabe, which is not what I ask for. I wanna look like a chill guy that I am and I hope that it will come with time.

I've read Conquer Your Campus. You know, one thing that may prevent from becoming a "20% guy" is that I have zero leadership skills, often I can't even lead myself in life situations. I wonder if it is the kind of thing that can be learned or is it genetic?

I've been thinking of some cool lines that I can say to girls. That shouldn't really be such a problem, I'm a beginning writer after all. I'm told that it's not such a great idea to simply compliment a chick, you have to **** with her head a little bit. I thought of something like this: "You know, I like you, cause you really make me feel good about myself. I'm feeling awesome, because you're so cute and I manage to be unaffected by your charm. I'm sure that if I let your charm hit me, you would be totally bad for me!". But it's probably corny ;p.

 

[ArcBound]

Congrats on college man.

Its good to see you are improving but relax about always needing to be the "leader" in a group. It is not necessary.

Focus more on eliciting reactions. If you can get someone laughing bravo, if you see someone do something retarded bust their balls for it. You don't want to be a leader in the sense that you always have to control where the group goes, or where the conversation goes. You want to be the guy that just gives the group a good time by your prescence and actions. The dude who always tries to control the group in hopes of being a leader will fail.

Don't worry too much about being the leader. Focus on making a good first impression, making sure people are at least aware of your presence (you can be quiet at times but don't be a total wallflower) and most of all, all human conversation and interaction should be FUN for YOU.

Also as a tip in college whenever you meet someone and hit it off bit ask for a number guy or girl, this opens up so many doors in the future.

 

[LifeIsAChallenge]

Well, if that's how it goes then I'm glad. I will be definitely having fun.

One thing I wonder about... When I'll be meeting girls, should I ask if they have boyfriends right away?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I'd say no, it would probably come off as creepy, and you're almost as good off not asking it immediately.

 

[LifeIsAChallenge]

I guess I'll just have to start to be interested in that stuff. I mean, in high school I was to deep in my geeky stuff to know who is in relationship with who.

It's good I know some people in the city that I will be studying in. I will hang out with them and they will show me around the city. I will also ask some girl to go to cinema with me, not because I want to have a cinema date, but because I really want to see "Drive" with Ryan Gosling and Bryan Cranston from "Breaking Bad" and I want to do it with some cool girl. I will do it in confident way, with a smile on my face, and if the girl refuses, I won't be sad and disappointed, I will just ask someone else.

I don't have much to write here, but I'm pretty excited about all of this. It's just good that I've made so many mistakes in high school, now I know exactly what not to do.