Going to them or them coming to us?

[Crissco]

For a first date or a meet up in general what is better, to go and pick them up, or have them come meet me at some place in my town?

Got into a convo with a girl who she says she wants guys to come to her, and I was saying i dont do that on the first meeting. After we get to know each other better ide have no problem picking them up....etc
It was only a 20min drive between where we live and she still didnt want to drive here to meet up. She even was a little hesitant when I said ide meet half way.

Whats your thoughts on this?

 

[runner83]

My thoughts on this and what I practice:

- If it is the first time you are meeting a girl, you don't even know her well enough to know if she is worth it.

- Going to pick her up simply reinforces (even if subconsciously) the frame that she is the prize.

- It is much better to meet at some other mutually agreed location, preferably closer to your place, so it is more natural to go back there if the night goes well.

- If a girl really is into meeting you (in my experience), she won't quibble on this. Suggest your place to meet up and she should go with it.

 

[Crissco]

My thoughts on this and what I practice:

- If it is the first time you are meeting a girl, you don't even know her well enough to know if she is worth it.

- Going to pick her up simply reinforces (even if subconsciously) the frame that she is the prize.

- It is much better to meet at some other mutually agreed location, preferably closer to your place, so it is more natural to go back there if the night goes well.

- If a girl really is into meeting you (in my experience), she won't quibble on this. Suggest your place to meet up and she should go with it.

So basically meet half way or have her come to me?

 

[Crissco]

My thoughts on this and what I practice:

- If it is the first time you are meeting a girl, you don't even know her well enough to know if she is worth it.

- Going to pick her up simply reinforces (even if subconsciously) the frame that she is the prize.

- It is much better to meet at some other mutually agreed location, preferably closer to your place, so it is more natural to go back there if the night goes well.

- If a girl really is into meeting you (in my experience), she won't quibble on this. Suggest your place to meet up and she should go with it.

And when you say quibble what do you mean?

 

[808]

My thoughts on this and what I practice:

- If it is the first time you are meeting a girl, you don't even know her well enough to know if she is worth it.

- Going to pick her up simply reinforces (even if subconsciously) the frame that she is the prize.

- It is much better to meet at some other mutually agreed location, preferably closer to your place, so it is more natural to go back there if the night goes well.

- If a girl really is into meeting you (in my experience), she won't quibble on this. Suggest your place to meet up and she should go with it.

I can attest to this. I had a woman drive an hour and a half to meet me where I live.

 

[shizz702]

I think it is best to meet somewhere on the first date for sure. On the first date you don't even know her well enough to pick her up or have her come to your place. I also think it is best to establish some familiarity before picking her up, and after the first couple dates or so, have her come to your place and she can go with you. Let her work a little bit.

 

[Crissco]

I usually start off by talking on the phone for a bit at night then take it from there...etc

 

[EA Gold]

It depends..

Are you a king or a servant. Choose one and then you'll know what to do.

 

[Crissco]

It depends..

Are you a king or a servant. Choose one and then you'll know what to do.

Im working on a plan to take over the world. You choose :rockon:

*Works as a good icebreaker if a chicks asking what you are doing*

 

[Korrupt]

I agree with the posters, but at the same time I don't. Here's how it works for me... If you're driving to see her, she sets up the actual date. If she drives to see you, you set up the date. So you're both putting in some sort of work and neither of you are "trying too hard."

Also, I'm still living at home with my parents. So I MUCH rather drive to a girl if she has her own place, because if things heat up I don't think going to my parents house is going to be a good situation.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Don't overthink it.

Most attractive women with options will NOT be ok with coming to you on a first date. They simply don't have to; they have too many options to warrant any output of effort in meeting new guys.

Don't expect high interest from the getgo. If you're dating hot chicks, don't expect them to lift a finger for you until you build up some real attraction. The "prize" mentality does not mean you don't pursue; the male ALWAYS should be the aggressor. Being a "prize" just means you have the confidence to know what you want and to go after it, ignoring any temporary setbacks. Driving 20 minutes to meet her for the first time is hardly giving away our value; just make sure she doesn't make you do this every time.

 

[Crissco]

I agree with this one the most. And with Korrupt.

Im not going to go an hour out of myway to meet a girl, cuz u always have that slim chance she wont put out...etc if she wants to do that for me thats fine. But if shes not willing to travel 20 min to come see is, is she even really worth my time?