Going to the club solo

[TheNewStyle123]

What's up boys.

Wondering if anyone has ever gone to a club or bar solo with the intention of picking up a woman? There is a smaller dance club 2 miles from my apartment that does Spanish dance music on Saturday nights. Last weekend I went with a plate and had a great time, but I was looking around realizing all of the latina talent (kind of wishing I wasn't with my plate haha).

Anyways, none of my guy friends around here are into that and would not go with me. I was considering just going alone this Saturday night. It's so close to my apartment and a great location, but I just don't know if that is social suicide?

I wouldn't just be posting up in the corner staring at women all night.. I would be going up to them and asking them to dance with me (I've been learning bachata and merengue) and would try to make conversation with other groups there too.

I could see both sides though. "Who is this loser showing up alone? Does he not have friends?" or "Why is this mysterious guy by himself? He seems intriguing to me.."

Thoughts?

 

[Barrister]

I have gone into a bar many times solo and ordered a drink and food and approached women. I have not ever done that in a club but I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Especially if you are legitimately into the Latin dance scene. I have a couple of buddies who are into it principally for meeting women and swear by it. I don't believe that women will think you are loser unless you are giving off an insecure vibe like you aren't sure if you should be there on your own.

I have actually found when I sit in a bar alone and have a drink that I actually will sometimes get approached by women -- which almost never happens when I am there with a group. So I think you can definitely give that a go without there being any cause for concern.

 

[Woujo]

From my upcoming book:

Some guys ask me whether it is ok to go out alone because they are afraid women will think they are weird. My answer is this: women generally do not give a **** if you are out alone, and even if they do, you can easily defuse their concerns: “Oh I am waiting on my friends,” “my friends are here somewhere,” “my friends were being dramatic/boring so I had to leave them,” “I had a long day and just wanted to grab a drink by myself.” Etc… I have gone out alone A LOT in my life, and women have never seen me being alone as a problem. In fact, women sometimes see being alone as impressive and a sign you do not give a **** what others think of you.

Going out alone, however, can sometimes sap your confidence because they feel like an outsider. Your should goal be to project to women the feeling that you are the popular, high-status guy and you are “accepting” her into the cool kids’ lunch table. But you may not be able to project this feeling if you are out alone and do not yourself feel like you are at the cool kids’ lunch table, especially if you are at a strange place where you do not know anybody.

On the other hand, going out with people that suck can also sap your confidence. A ****ty wingman can ruin your night, and a lot of guys feel self-conscious or weird to approach and get rejected by women in front of their friends, especially if their friends are not into gaming.

My strategy is this: if you are going to go out to approach women, your ideal situation is to have a core of friends you can return to anytime but are not beholden to. If you go out alone, you can approach strangers and make a few “friends” (fat girls, gay guys, whatever) that become your core. That way, you have a “home base” you can return to and recharge at any time. Your “core” can also boost your status in front of any woman you meet. If I go to a club and see a fun group of people I always try to introduce myself to at least one person in the group so I have an “in” with the cool kids.

If you decide to approach women with a friend, it is best to keep it at one friend and two at the most. A group of five guys trying to approach women very rarely works because the chances of finding a group of five women who will each want to talk to somebody in your group slim. Furthermore, groups of three or more women are harder to game because there are less likely to be out prowling for **** together.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I have gone into a bar many times solo and ordered a drink and food and approached women. I have not ever done that in a club but I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Especially if you are legitimately into the Latin dance scene. I have a couple of buddies who are into it principally for meeting women and swear by it. I don't believe that women will think you are loser unless you are giving off an insecure vibe like you aren't sure if you should be there on your own.

I have actually found when I sit in a bar alone and have a drink that I actually will sometimes get approached by women -- which almost never happens when I am there with a group. So I think you can definitely give that a go without there being any cause for concern.

Great point man! Giving off the vibe like you shouldn't be there would be a mistake. I plan on just going in with the intention of genuinely wanting to have a great time and meet people. I really do enjoy the music and dance and wouldn't feel like I am trying to "fake it."

 

[TheNewStyle123]

From my upcoming book:

Some guys ask me whether it is ok to go out alone because they are afraid women will think they are weird. My answer is this: women generally do not give a **** if you are out alone, and even if they do, you can easily defuse their concerns: “Oh I am waiting on my friends,” “my friends are here somewhere,” “my friends were being dramatic/boring so I had to leave them,” “I had a long day and just wanted to grab a drink by myself.” Etc… I have gone out alone A LOT in my life, and women have never seen me being alone as a problem. In fact, women sometimes see being alone as impressive and a sign you do not give a **** what others think of you.

Going out alone, however, can sometimes sap your confidence because they feel like an outsider. Your should goal be to project to women the feeling that you are the popular, high-status guy and you are “accepting” her into the cool kids’ lunch table. But you may not be able to project this feeling if you are out alone and do not yourself feel like you are at the cool kids’ lunch table, especially if you are at a strange place where you do not know anybody.

On the other hand, going out with people that suck can also sap your confidence. A ****ty wingman can ruin your night, and a lot of guys feel self-conscious or weird to approach and get rejected by women in front of their friends, especially if their friends are not into gaming.

My strategy is this: if you are going to go out to approach women, your ideal situation is to have a core of friends you can return to anytime but are not beholden to. If you go out alone, you can approach strangers and make a few “friends” (fat girls, gay guys, whatever) that become your core. That way, you have a “home base” you can return to and recharge at any time. Your “core” can also boost your status in front of any woman you meet. If I go to a club and see a fun group of people I always try to introduce myself to at least one person in the group so I have an “in” with the cool kids.

If you decide to approach women with a friend, it is best to keep it at one friend and two at the most. A group of five guys trying to approach women very rarely works because the chances of finding a group of five women who will each want to talk to somebody in your group slim. Furthermore, groups of three or more women are harder to game because there are less likely to be out prowling for **** together.

Great tips man! Good point about finding a "core" so you can return to home base if the situation warrants it. Plus, I enjoy meeting new people and talking to strangers anyways.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

You should go, it doesn't matter what people think of you. I wouldn't go with the intention of picking women, they are going to feel it, just see it as a challenge, stay out of your comfort zone.

Well said buddy!

 

[lost_blackbird]

I drink at my friends ****tail bar. I can often be seen behind the bar helping out if
they are busy. I never have to pay. I often get approached by ladies in the bar (even
if I am friendly and affable but truly without any motive beyond that) social proof like
that is gold dust even if I regularly waste the opportunities it affords me. I'm there to drink
and see my friends that work there, not score phone numbers and sexual experiences. I always
dress well and look considerably more dapper than 99% of the clientele. I do that for my friend
who owns the place's benefit as I know what kind of customers he wants the place to appeal to,
but it does get me noticed by the ladies even more than me wandering around in there like I
own the place and ordering drinks for myself with a mere glance at the bar staff does.

 

[Young OG]

What's up boys.

Wondering if anyone has ever gone to a club or bar solo with the intention of picking up a woman? There is a smaller dance club 2 miles from my apartment that does Spanish dance music on Saturday nights. Last weekend I went with a plate and had a great time, but I was looking around realizing all of the latina talent (kind of wishing I wasn't with my plate haha).

Anyways, none of my guy friends around here are into that and would not go with me. I was considering just going alone this Saturday night. It's so close to my apartment and a great location, but I just don't know if that is social suicide?

I wouldn't just be posting up in the corner staring at women all night.. I would be going up to them and asking them to dance with me (I've been learning bachata and merengue) and would try to make conversation with other groups there too.

I could see both sides though. "Who is this loser showing up alone? Does he not have friends?" or "Why is this mysterious guy by himself? He seems intriguing to me.."

Thoughts?

I've went to clubs alone more then once. When you get into the club, you need to grab a drink, and immediately start approaching. If you wait too long to start approaching then you will get in your head and just stand there. If women ask me where my friends are, I usually either say that I lost them at another bar or that my friend left with a girl. I never tell them I intentionally came alone. Also, try to make friends with other guys especially when there in a mixed set.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Club cologne recommendation:

Ultra Male by Jean Paul Gaultier

Also, CH Men Prive by Carolina Herrera

Shiit brother, I will be picking some up this week!

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I've went to clubs alone more then once. When you get into the club, you need to grab a drink, and immediately start approaching. If you wait too long to start approaching then you will get in your head and just stand there. If women ask me where my friends are, I usually either say that I lost them at another bar or that my friend left with a girl. I never tell them I intentionally came alone. Also, try to make friends with other guys especially when there in a mixed set.

Great advice man! Definitely coming pre-loaded with an excuse as to why you are alone too is advantageous.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Just go to have fun, hang out. Get a drink. Listen to the music. Things sometimes happen...

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Just go to have fun, hang out. Get a drink. Listen to the music. Things sometimes happen...

You’re right man. I’m not able to make a friends party on Long Island this weekend so I was feeling sorry for myself for not having any plans and missing out. But I genuinely think it will be fun to just go to the club, get a drink, be affable, and see where the night takes me.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Club cologne recommendation:

Ultra Male by Jean Paul Gaultier

Also, CH Men Prive by Carolina Herrera

I'm really liking Hugo Boss "Just different".
Seems appropriate somehow.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You’re right man. I’m not able to make a friends party on Long Island this weekend so I was feeling sorry for myself for not having any plans and missing out. But I genuinely think it will be fun to just go to the club, get a drink, be affable, and see where the night takes me.

I’ve had some good adventures doing just that.

 

[RickTheToad]

What's up boys.

Wondering if anyone has ever gone to a club or bar solo with the intention of picking up a woman? There is a smaller dance club 2 miles from my apartment that does Spanish dance music on Saturday nights. Last weekend I went with a plate and had a great time, but I was looking around realizing all of the latina talent (kind of wishing I wasn't with my plate haha).

Anyways, none of my guy friends around here are into that and would not go with me. I was considering just going alone this Saturday night. It's so close to my apartment and a great location, but I just don't know if that is social suicide?

I wouldn't just be posting up in the corner staring at women all night.. I would be going up to them and asking them to dance with me (I've been learning bachata and merengue) and would try to make conversation with other groups there too.

I could see both sides though. "Who is this loser showing up alone? Does he not have friends?" or "Why is this mysterious guy by himself? He seems intriguing to me.."

Thoughts?

Usually best to go with a wingman. However, when I used to go to bars, I'd just order a drink or some food, females come up to chat with me. 1st thing you need to do is stop concerning yourself on what other people think. If they want to hang with you, great, if not, their loss.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Usually best to go with a wingman. However, when I used to go to bars, I'd just order a drink or some food, females come up to chat with me. 1st thing you need to do is stop concerning yourself on what other people think. If they want to hang with you, great, if not, their loss.

You're right man!

 

[Mike32ct]

While not required, it is good to be a regular. If you go on the same night, you can get to know one of the bartenders. (A hot chick bartender is good to practice/warmup your conversation while you’re alone.). And the doorman will get to know you and just waive you in quickly.

I clubbed alone for years (and kind of miss it lol).

 

[TheNewStyle123]

While not required, it is good to be a regular. If you go on the same night, you can get to know one of the bartenders. (A hot chick bartender is good to practice/warmup your conversation while you’re alone.). And the doorman will get to know you and just waive you in quickly.

I clubbed alone for years (and kind of miss it lol).

Great tips - thanks man!

 

[Mike32ct]

Just don’t ever hit on the bartender chick. Be polite and friendly and let her “friendzone” you. It’s more important that they are comfortable with you at their establishment than anything else.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Just don’t ever hit on the bartender chick. Be polite and friendly and let her “friendzone” you. It’s more important that they are comfortable with you at their establishment than anything else.

Oof, good catch. I'm glad you said that - otherwise that probably would of been my move haha. Makes sense though to establish a reputation there.