Let me start by saying I'm not the biggest fan of strip clubs. Paying to see women undress and dance on me I don't find very appealing. However is it wrong that whenever I'm in a relationship, I get the urge to hit them up more than when I'm single? After sex diminishes and she stops trying to look good, it causes me to want other female attention. And what better way to do that than through a strip club. The way I see it, it's not cheating, and it's nothing serious. So it's my way of getting what I want in a manner that doesn't bring on repercussions, granted if I don't sleep with the strippers nor go broke.
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Going to Stripclubs While in a Relationship
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EyeOnThePrize
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It means you're using your partner as a crutch to not slay dragons. The strip club is not a solution to the underlying problem. It's a distraction to keep you from you addressing what has caused her to stop taking care of herself and what you've neglected in your own life that has caused her attraction to wane. You would rather lie to yourself and pay for female attention than work on yourself or leave a failing partnership.
In the relationship you may think you deserve better but don't have the balls to leave, so you distract yourself and stay, slowly increasing tensions and resentment until one of you decides enough is enough.
When you're single you'd rather get laid than teased and a strip club isn't enough to distract you from all the problems in your life. Since you were validated by the status of having a partner you are forced to face your issues at least in part or go all in on distractions.
In the relationship you may think you deserve better but don't have the balls to leave, so you distract yourself and stay, slowly increasing tensions and resentment until one of you decides enough is enough.
When you're single you'd rather get laid than teased and a strip club isn't enough to distract you from all the problems in your life. Since you were validated by the status of having a partner you are forced to face your issues at least in part or go all in on distractions.
I can agree with some of this but you should know peak interest doesnt remain high in relationships and a level of comfort develops with your partner to not dress to the nines every time you see them. It's during that time that I start to look at other women and eventually go out with the boys to the strip joints. But you are right that I may not be convinced enough to leave my current gf and might be using the strip club as a distraction. Probably not the healthiest thing but then again I don't believe there is that one person out there for anyone so I just continue the pattern.
Glassguy
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Stop "getting in relationships" and start building a rotation. You will find the sex doesnt slow down, the newness (with each plate) doesnt wear off in no time because you are broadcasting your time across 2-4 chicks instead of being up one chick's butt all the time and getting burned out.
Kotaix
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Personally I've never been able to get over the fact that strippers and hookers are just doing something for money, if you pay them enough they might pretend to enjoy their work, but it's just work and that's a turnoff for me. Along the same vein I really am not interested in women who trowel on their makeup or whose OLD profile is nothing but evening gowns and heels. It just means she's making up for a lack of something and it's false advertising. They're also high maintenance princesses which drive me insane.
It's fundamental to human nature to become dissatisfied with what you have after a while. As much as you might want that ONE thing, you're eventually going to get tired of it. If you're feeling this way, she probably has already gotten there unless you're an alpha that can keep her interested by not giving her attention.
I'll admit to being shallow like most guys and requiering a woman to have good looks and be fit; but even if she's a 10 on the looks scale, if she's a retard I'm going to get sick of her really quick. Spin more plates until you find the one that doesn't bore you to death when she opens her mouth (dear god are they rare). You're doing the equivalent of leasing one car a year to test drive it and make up your mind instead of just going to 5 dealerships and comparing all the different models that interest you at the same time. It's a waste of time.
It's fundamental to human nature to become dissatisfied with what you have after a while. As much as you might want that ONE thing, you're eventually going to get tired of it. If you're feeling this way, she probably has already gotten there unless you're an alpha that can keep her interested by not giving her attention.
I'll admit to being shallow like most guys and requiering a woman to have good looks and be fit; but even if she's a 10 on the looks scale, if she's a retard I'm going to get sick of her really quick. Spin more plates until you find the one that doesn't bore you to death when she opens her mouth (dear god are they rare). You're doing the equivalent of leasing one car a year to test drive it and make up your mind instead of just going to 5 dealerships and comparing all the different models that interest you at the same time. It's a waste of time.
JohnChops
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"sex diminishes"
"stops looking good"
Oof. Time to go. Always keep your girlfriend on her toes.
You let her get comfortable in the relationship, if you kept her guessing about "wow is he gonna leave me if I stop doing xyz" and you make it clear that you will. She will not stop doing xyz. If she made it okay she looks like garbage every time you see her, then thats on you man. My girlfriend can wear whatever she wants in her house, but when we go out, she always dresses well. We've been together for 3.5 years. Sex is also on you, if you wait for her to initiate it, she won't. Why would she? But if you get her going and keep her guessing, she will get wet every-time, and beg you to **** her.
Guys drop frame in relationships, why? Because of comfort. I wouldn't be surprised if she was looking at other guys because she finds the relationship boring too. I see guys gain a hefty amount of weight in relationships (not good weight either) or dress like sh1t when they go out. Is this you?
I know it's easy to get into a groove where you're doing the same thing over and over again, but once you snap out of that groove and be spontaneous again, like when you first starting dating, your relationship gets fun again. Ruts happen, but they don't last and shouldn't last.
"stops looking good"
Oof. Time to go. Always keep your girlfriend on her toes.
You let her get comfortable in the relationship, if you kept her guessing about "wow is he gonna leave me if I stop doing xyz" and you make it clear that you will. She will not stop doing xyz. If she made it okay she looks like garbage every time you see her, then thats on you man. My girlfriend can wear whatever she wants in her house, but when we go out, she always dresses well. We've been together for 3.5 years. Sex is also on you, if you wait for her to initiate it, she won't. Why would she? But if you get her going and keep her guessing, she will get wet every-time, and beg you to **** her.
Guys drop frame in relationships, why? Because of comfort. I wouldn't be surprised if she was looking at other guys because she finds the relationship boring too. I see guys gain a hefty amount of weight in relationships (not good weight either) or dress like sh1t when they go out. Is this you?
I know it's easy to get into a groove where you're doing the same thing over and over again, but once you snap out of that groove and be spontaneous again, like when you first starting dating, your relationship gets fun again. Ruts happen, but they don't last and shouldn't last.
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DariusTheBartender
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It's not wrong to go for a guys night out or an occasional beer but you are going because she isn't taking care of herself or the sex diminishes it is wrong. If she's not meeting your needs it's time to dump her and purse fresh new women.
EyeOnThePrize
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Interest doesn't stay high because one of you stops investing in the relationship or neither party invests and it atrophies. LTR are about interdependence, not codependence. Invest in yourself(increase your SMV) and if that doesn't inspire your partner to do the same then you will be primed to leave and have a good reason.
Mike32ct
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It is an odd phenomenon that strip clubs appeal more to "taken" guys than single guys.
As a single dude, strip clubs do nothing for me. But my married guy friends seem to like them from time to time. I only go to spend time with my friends.
As a single dude, strip clubs do nothing for me. But my married guy friends seem to like them from time to time. I only go to spend time with my friends.
I can guarantee you that ur girlfriend is always checking other men out.
So why is it that its a problem for you to check other sexy women out?
zekko
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Kind of ruins porn, doesn't it?
I agree that spinning plates is the best strategy for finding a suitable LTR. However, I want to point out that doesn't mean relationships are bad. There's always an undercurrent of "relationship shaming" on this forum.
True statement.
Kotaix
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It's about as pointless as porn, sure. But porn is essentially free nowdays.Kind of ruins porn, doesn't it?
Bytes and data should come naturally to you but yet you're not excelled in it, ur natural born talent that other men are not blessed with.
Since that's the path you're chosen then women or relationships with them should naturally be placed on the back burner for you to advance.
"Heaven" is knowledge, the "Earth" is power and "Man" is people.
If you already possess both Heaven and Earth - you hv achieved 2 eyes.
Seek the 3rd eye, the people and you shall steal the entire world.
Remember what I've always talked on here Zekko - creating sphere of influence.
This one is just for you to decipher.
BeExcellent
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Advice from the old lady: Agree. If your girl is too square or too offended to go with you (some girls are), then be upfront with her that you’re going & go anyway.
I agree also with @JohnChops BIG TIME. If she is letting her appearance slip while in relationship with you, she is too comfortable.
I find that when I’m dating someone I pay MORE attention to being sure I’m putting my best self forward at all times. The men I go out with have options available to them. I understand that and keep myself in top form for myself but also for him. You’ll never hear a man I’m seeing complain about me letting my appearance or my figure go. Not in a month, not in 10 years.
Similar thing with sex. Sexual desire will naturally rise & fall or ebb & flow in a LTR. The reward is depth & intimacy that expands over time. Sex should not fall off a cliff and stay that way. If that happens you need to consider whether or not genuine sexual desire was ever there to begin with.
I won’t date a man who I don’t genuinely desire sexually. But many, many women will.
Food for thought.