"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Going to strip club right now

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I'm in the Uber.I remember last time I went to one thinking what a waste they are. I'm just bored. I wish I could go one day without drinking. Looking like that's not today.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bible_Belt

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It's like 130 in the afternoon, man. I am no saint about sobriety myself, but if you can barely make it past lunch without drinking, you might have a problem.

AA meetings are actually a good place to meet girls. Backbreaker, who hasnt posted much lately has talked about it being easy pickings at AA and NA meetings. And no, they usually are not junkies. Much like a lot of people at a weight watchers meeting are not fat, the ones who attend meetings tend to have their sh!t together.
 

Reykhel

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I wish I could go one day without drinking.
Some honesty from this poster.

Honesty leads to owning up to a problem. Owning up to a problem can lead to finding a solution. The process of finding a solution
can lead to personal growth......

I'm back in his corner for the moment
 

zekko

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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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logicallefty

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Frog I have to agree that if you can't go a single day without drinking that's bad. You are talking to a guy who used do 6-9 beers weeknights and more on weekends, 5-7 days a week, so I've been there. I briefly tired an inpatient program and honestly I thought it was a joke but I know some are actually good, it's just that mine was not. So how I solved the problem was gradually drinking less all the time, while setting goals for myself that required my sobriety to achieve. It took me about 2-3 years to go from my extreme drinking down to what I do today, which is about a 12 pack every 2.5 months. Far far less, but I still get to enjoy a drink when I want one.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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I read the "I wish I could go one day without drinking" as "I wish one day I can go [to a strip club] and not be bored without drinking."

But it could be either. Of course the other meaning that ever day needs beer is worrying, but honest at least.

I haven't been to a strip club. My friends wanted to get me to go to one but don't think it'd be my scene.
 
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Frog I have to agree that if you can't go a single day without drinking that's bad. You are talking to a guy who used do 6-9 beers weeknights and more on weekends, 5-7 days a week, so I've been there. I briefly tired an inpatient program and honestly I thought it was a joke but I know some are actually good, it's just that mine was not. So how I solved the problem was gradually drinking less all the time, while setting goals for myself that required my sobriety to achieve. It took me about 2-3 years to go from my extreme drinking down to what I do today, which is about a 12 pack every 2.5 months. Far far less, but I still get to enjoy a drink when I want one.
I've had about 15 already today and I'm still drinking them,slowly.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Getting the drinking out gives you additional control in your life and it feels great .
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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This is from the strip club a few days ago. I was having a conservation with the bartender on and off over the course of a few hours while consuming 10 beers. I actually recognized her from a bar downtown and asked if she used to work downtown. She said yes, I guessed the bar wrong, but it was the one next to it.

She asked if I had the day off, I said yes. She asked what I did for a living. I said flip houses. Both her and the other girl at the bar got excited when I said that. Then I started talking about how I usually work every day and bla bla bla and the conservation got boring for a while.

The rest of the conversation I remember in pieces and in no particular order because of the drinking. I remember showing her pictures of the house I remodeled and she was impressed.

One of the other strippers came and sat next to me and she looked really young so I asked how old she was. She asked me to guess. I said 21, and I was right. Then I guess a few minutes later, I ended up guessing the bartenders age. Guessed 26. I was right again! And I also remember maybe 20 minutes later trying to guess her ethnicity. I guessed French mixed with some kind of Asian. She told me was from Ecuador and lived there until she was 10. I was way off.

Then I remember talking about traveling. Her telling me all the places she's been, which was quite a long list. I've only been to Mexico and Bahamas other than USA. I asked her if she'd ever been to the Galapagos Islands. She said no and asked if I have. I said no, but I was invited one time.

She asked me where I went when I go downtown and I said I usually bar hop between 10 different places and barely remember the last 5. I asked what she did when she went downtown. She said she goes out with friends and dances. She asked if I could dance. I said not at all.

I remember she asked if I had a business card, which I don't.

There's probably more that I might remember later, but that's all I can remember right now.

After drinking 10 beers at this strip club, I Ubered downtown and went to a few bars that I vaguely remember, except that at one, I ordered a huge burrito through Uber Eats. And I remember the bartender and her female friends talking about sugar daddies.

Then, I Ubered from downtown to Winghouse and kept drinking. Probably drank 20 beers that day over 12-13 hours. When I was leaving Winghouse waiting for my Uber, a female customer who had been sitting at the bar told me I looked like Joaquin Phoenix.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Probably drank 20 beers that day over 12-13 hours.
This is like an extra 2,000 calories straight to the gut, potentially.

Anyway what did you say to the Joaquin Phoenix girl? Because that sounds like a textbook invitation to flirt to me.

Also carry business cards next time, it's a neat way to give these girls your number.
 
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This is like an extra 2,000 calories straight to the gut, potentially.

Anyway what did you say to the Joaquin Phoenix girl? Because that sounds like a textbook invitation to flirt to me.

Also carry business cards next time, it's a neat way to give these girls your number.
She initially asked me if anyone told me I looked like Sean Penn. I said no but people used to say Joaquin Phoenix. She said that's what she meant. She was with 1 other girl and a guy. The guy asked her "is that a good thing?" She said "of course that's a good thing." But I guess I didn't really care to continue, I was drunk as hell.

Business cards = Even if I had business cards, I don't think this girl would be thinking of my business card as she's downtown dancing and possibly meeting and hooking up with guys she thinks are hot.

I also remember asking her if I parked a Lamborghini at the strip club, would it get stolen or vandalized. She said that it wouldn't.
 
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Now this is what I call a good day and living life to the fullest. We'd have a good time chiling together broski
I still didn't get any number or sex with any of these girls.

And still no guaranteed way of sex with hot girls (or anyone) other than paying.

Although the next day, I Googled "escorts Orlando" and met a good looking Hispanic escort and she not only told me what site she advertises on since BP shut down, she also gave me her friends number and I suggested a threesome and she was all for it (for money of course).
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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MoreThanSmooth

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I would barely say a word without it, unfortunately.

I think alcohol has been a social lubricant for millennia.
I find one pint, even a half-pint sometimes, is more than enough to get me chatting. As it wears off I'll maybe have one more.

20 on the other hand as part of a standard session is problematic. The most I've ever had was 10 beers, and that was to celebrate a year of work, I probably got the drunkest I've ever been too.

What makes you quiet without alcohol? Do you just not like talking, or is it lack of social confidence? Both are fixable.

Also does the amount you're drinking worry you at all? Because as others have said, I think cutting down would probably help you out. I've noticed some threads you seem pretty happy, others pretty down with life, I find being drunk does that to you. You might feel more stable without it.
 

Reykhel

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I would barely say a word without it, unfortunately.

I think alcohol has been a social lubricant for millennia.
It's true.

I remember about 17 years of age having the mentality "he who dares wins" just before I was about to do something "daring" (ie push through fear..) asking the girlfriend at that moment out face to face.....

But yeah later in the early twenties.......getting women was going into Jim Morrisson mode.........social lubricant for sure.
 

JohnChops

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It's true.

I remember about 17 years of age having the mentality "he who dares wins" just before I was about to do something "daring" (ie push through fear..) asking the girlfriend at that moment out face to face.....

But yeah later in the early twenties.......getting women was going into Jim Morrisson mode.........social lubricant for sure.
really? I think my game is worse when I drink.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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