"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Going to parties in college

jtrain 289

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Hi im about to graduate highschool land i went to only about 2 parties throughout all of highschool havent even hooked up with a girl yet The 2 parties that I went to when i came home i couldnt sleep because i know i missed an oppurtunity to get ass like girls would come on to me an start touching my face and i would just look at them and then be like your so wierd and leave. Im very sure in college if I go to a party it wont end up like that again but How do i know im even gonna get invited to parties? In highschool noone really wanted to hang out with me they would only hang out with me when they werent doing anything but when there would be a party and i asked what they were doing they would be like nothing and not answer me or tell me about it till after it was over. They always ditched me when their were parties I have no idea why me. My question is in college do guys and girls ditch people when they dont want them to come to parties all the time or do people generally dont care who you are and will just let you come?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jtrain 289

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hahah yea thats another thing im 5foot 9 and 220 pounds lol i bench 340 and squat 500 i dont know whats wrong with me. I remebr reading somewhere here that if you have an amazing body but are boring girls would just use you for sex and then leave you I would pretty ****ing happy if girls just used me for sex. What happens is that like at first girls see me and i know they think im hott but then they back off because they sense that im afraid of my ****. Which means afraid to be sexual. I dont know why guys dont like me at least most people that dont get girls have guys they can hang out with I have noone. I have no idea why people dont like me I try to be nice and then their nice back but then after a while guys just start making fun of me. Thats how it always ends up im always the butt of every guys joke and with girls after they get to know me they lose all attraction they have for me.
 

jtrain 289

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This has always been my case ever since i was little guys have never liked me It would always be girls that would talk to me. The thing is as i grew older i think all the jokes about me have effected my confidence and the girls that would talked to me slowly turned uglier and then turned into no girls at all. Its pretty amazing actually i could turn a guy thats completly serious doesnt play around and then after a few minutes around me you will see him change and start making fun off me.
 

Dannyrt34

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jtrain 289 said:
girls would come on to me an start touching my face and i would just look at them and then be like your so wierd and leave.
Sounds like an ass of a move you just made there. I'm going out on a limb here but just maybe this could be the reason. There's no reason to be a dlck like that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being nice. You can tease people, be funny, charming, ****y, all while still treating everybody nicely and with respect. You don't hear that too often around here. But you CAN be a nice guy that stands up for himself when needed.

Maybe you'll have more friends this way.
 

jtrain 289

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yea your right the other thing is that i wasnt trying to be a **** i was just being a bitzch i was afraid of hooking up i couldnt sleep that nigh cause it happened with 4 other girls that night. I just dont college to feel like highschool again i dont think i can survive another year of how highschool was like.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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andy1989

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When I came to college, I was even less experienced than you as I didn't attend ANY social gatherings in high school (including dances, prom, etc ).

What I discovered during my first semester in college that it is ridiculously easy to get "in" the social scene. I'm going to copy a section from a post on my blog and a post I made on another forum where I talked about how.

Me said:
Building a Social Circle That Gives You Steady Stream of Hookups

Let's start out with how to hook up with a bunch of girls (if that is what you want).

The path of least resistence is to build up a social circle, be the leader of that group, and get into the party scene.

Like the general population, most college students want to have a good time but would like others to go through the trouble of providing them with that good time.

So, if you can provide people with a good time, then they will want to be your friends.

Now, there are three types of "social currency" in college.

1. Hot girls

2. Alcohol

3. A place to party

These are the superficial things that can get you "in" even without a personality. Obviously your personality can be just as effective if you go through the trouble of developing it.

Anyway, the easiest way to build a social circle that will get you an endless supply of hookups is to be able to provide those three things.

During the first couple weeks of college, most of the people on campus are scrambling to find their place on campus. This includes the hot girls.

What you want to do is befriend a couple of them.

Get into a conversation with them, even if it is chode.

"Hey, I'm Andy, what's your name? Where you from? How do you like it so far? "

Then offer them some fun.

"Myself and a couple others are going out tonight. It'll be a lot of fun. You and your friends should tag along."

Exchange numbers and, boom, your set.

Do this to a couple of girls and you've got the foundations of a solid social circle.

During the day, find out where the parties are going to be that night. Because you are going to be rolling out with hot girls, you'll be able to get into any one of them. Because those parties will be providing alcohol, the hot girls will want to roll out with you.

Do you see how it all comes together?

Additionally, you have social proof at these parties because of those hot girls. Girls at the parties will approach you.

At this point, it's simply a matter of not being a dumbass.

If you are an upperclassman living off campus, you can offer your house up as a place to party (With alcohol, of course). Again, this will attract the hot girls, which will attract other guys and their hot friends...

This, by the way, is pretty much how the Greek system sustains itself. As much as I make fun of the fraternity guys, they do have a lot of built in opportunities to hook up with girls.

So there you go, the easiest way to get a steady stream of girls to hook up with and have a vibrant social life.

Animal House style.
 

Igetit!

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Seems to me like all your problems are internal. And the things you say that are constantly happening to you,(guys making fun of you after knowing you 5 minutes,girls losing attraction after getting to know you,etc.),all these things are an outward manifestation of what's going on inside you.
What you believe,truely believe in your heart,you create in your life.

All the things you say that are happening to you are nothing but insecurity manifested in different forms.

And this question you asked about college parties is totally useless...unless you plan on leaving your dating life up to chance/getting lucky.
If you want to get dates as frequently as winning the lottery,then by all means,continue doing what you're doing.

However,if you want to aquire the skills,confidence,and the knowledge to know how to approach a girl with a good chance of her being interested in you,then you need to take advantage of what this forum has to offer.

You've been here over 2 years. Heck,you've been here longer than I have. This problems of yours should be history,or at least,you should already be on the path of eradicating them.

You're already making another mistake concerning this college party thread. You're looking for something on the outside of yourself to make you become more attractive to girls and more likeable to guys.

That's the problem. That's what causes guys to start to make fun of you and girls to want to get away from you after such a short peroid of time.

Insecurity.

You're like a blackhole that sucks the life out of anything near it.

You get close to women,and at first,they don't know you. But after speaking to you for a while,they "feel" the pull of your insecurity on them,then thay want to get away. Same thing with guys.

Whenever you try to get something from someone that you should already have in yourself,(respect,self-esteem,self-confidence,etc.),they'll want to pull away from you because you make them feel uncomfortable.

If you want to go to a college party,be all means go...but the source of your problem won't be adressed.
 
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