"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Going solo tonight. Tips?

Handsfull

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This will be the first time I am going out to some bars to land a ONS- on my own. Any tips? i know approaching a group a girls by yourself is damn near pointless because all they do is c0ck block each other, thinking they are protecting one another, mixed in with some subconcious jealousy issues.

What are the best targets, other than drunk chicks obviously. If a girls got a buzz or drunk that's great, but I dont want to hunt for one. That's cheap.

I'm thinking bartenders!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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pdx1138

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not a good idea.

bartenders/waitresses are among the most difficult and shielded.

think about it, they get hit on every single day. They know whats up.
what you deem flirting is them trying to get you to spend more.

I'd hit the bars LATE to increase your chances with the civilians.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Going solo is lame. Personally, if having a good time is dependent on whether or not I get play from women, then it is already a losing battle. The reality is that you are going to get rejected FAR more often than getting a number or anything else. It doesn't matter how good looking you are or how good you are, that's just the male-female dynamics.

I only go out with friends if I'm going to have a good time regardless of whether or not I meet a girl.

You're also more attractive when your happiness is not dependent on getting female attention.
 

csycpr

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Handsfull said:
This will be the first time I am going out to some bars to land a ONS- on my own. Any tips? i know approaching a group a girls by yourself is damn near pointless because all they do is c0ck block each other, thinking they are protecting one another, mixed in with some subconcious jealousy issues.
How is this any different than when you've gone to a club with friends, unless you only approach when you have wings?

The chicks aren't going to know you're by yourself.

Going solo is lame. Personally, if having a good time is dependent on whether or not I get play from women, then it is already a losing battle. The reality is that you are going to get rejected FAR more often than getting a number or anything else. It doesn't matter how good looking you are or how good you are, that's just the male-female dynamics.

I only go out with friends if I'm going to have a good time regardless of whether or not I meet a girl.
I don't think it's all that lame. Going out with the same bunch of friends can be pretty lame too, especially if all do is get drunk and repeat the same stories to each other all night and call this "a good time." Plus certain sorts of friends can be more of a hindrance than a help, so ditching them can actually help you.
 

Boilermaker

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csycpr said:
How is this any different than when you've gone to a club with friends, unless you only approach when you have wings?

The chicks aren't going to know you're by yourself.



I don't think it's all that lame. Going out with the same bunch of friends can be pretty lame too, especially if all do is get drunk and repeat the same stories to each other all night and call this "a good time." Plus certain sorts of friends can be more of a hindrance than a help, so ditching them can actually help you.

^

Whoever wrote this is very smart and mature.

Listen to this guy.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Handsfull

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csycpr said:
How is this any different than when you've gone to a club with friends, unless you only approach when you have wings?

The chicks aren't going to know you're by yourself.
Ok. So I approach. Everythings going well, weve got some charming banter back and forth, etc. The girl is not going to be alone. She WILL be there with at least another girl. Usually you would call your wingman overand at least say, "yeah, this is ...."

I have done this solo thing before, but that was not the intent of the evening. I've walked up to tables of two to three girls on more than one occasion, worked the best game I had in me at the time, and it was still awkward. You know the girls are looking at you thinking, where is this dudes friends? Did he just come here alone. Haha. And I'm a good looking guy. Good social skills, albeit, not the best in a bar/club situ.

I think it this is a text book case of what some people here call "social proof". An unkempt jackass, that might be the "alpha" of his little phaggot posse will arouse more interest from these girls, than a good looking guy that's got his **** together- because he's ALONE. Like, there MUST be something wrong with him...

Whatever. I'm gonna go hit it up anyway.

WHAT ABOUT APPROACH STRATEGY IN THESE "LONER" CASES? Just own the fact that your there checking out the scene, alone. Next subject.

Girl: So, who you here with?

Me::D
 

Fly By Night

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Or maybe you can go in there alone. Don't tell yourself that girls will hate you because you came alone. Go in alone because you are a BOSS that doesn't depend on the safety of his friends and can easily talk to anyone. Talk to both guys and girls. Game the girls, increase your social circle with the guys, and enjoy the night.

Stop letting one simple non-ideal fact screw up your whole night.
 

csycpr

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Handsfull said:
I have done this solo thing before, but that was not the intent of the evening. I've walked up to tables of two to three girls on more than one occasion, worked the best game I had in me at the time, and it was still awkward. You know the girls are looking at you thinking, where is this dudes friends? Did he just come here alone. Haha. And I'm a good looking guy. Good social skills, albeit, not the best in a bar/club situ.
I've never once wondered what a girl is thinking about where my friends might be. The thought has simply never entered my head. I've worried about plenty of OTHER things, but never this one.

Honestly, I can't imagine a girl even caring about it. Look at it this way: if she likes you, she won't care about your friends. (Please, she's not thinking to herself "Mmm, I really like this guy, but it's going no further until I see his friends!" lol). If she doesn't like you, then who cares what she thinks? Whether it's your friends (or lack of them) or any other reason, the real point is she doesn't like you and at that point you just move on to someone else.

If you're worrying this much about what the girl thinks of where your friends are, I'd say you're probably spending too much time in the set (as in hours).

I think it this is a text book case of what some people here call "social proof". An unkempt jackass, that might be the "alpha" of his little phaggot posse will arouse more interest from these girls, than a good looking guy that's got his **** together- because he's ALONE. Like, there MUST be something wrong with him...
Social proof can make a big difference, but if you haven't got it through friends it's not the end of the world.

WHAT ABOUT APPROACH STRATEGY IN THESE "LONER" CASES? Just own the fact that your there checking out the scene, alone. Next subject.
Strategy one: stop caring about it so damn much. It's nowhere near the big deal you seem to think it is.

Girl: So, who you here with?

Me::D
If it's early: you're waiting for your friends. (And being the cool guy that you are decided to meet some people while you're waiting, you stud you.)
If it's later: you're friends have left. (They were being lame anyway, you're happier they left, you stud you.)

Done.
 

Handsfull

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csycpr said:
Strategy one: stop caring about it so damn much. It's nowhere near the big deal you seem to think it is.
Youre totally right. I dont think it's a big deal though. Just want to maximize success...

Good avice, all.
 

bigneil

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TillTheEndOfTime said:
Going solo is lame. .. You're also more attractive when your happiness is not dependent on getting female attention.
You're also more attractive when your happiness is not dependent of getting male attention from the sausage fest you seem to insist upon before going out.

Going solo rules.

1) Dress sharp.
2) Get to know the bartenders over time.
3) You want to find yourself in a situation where you are seated next to the woman you want to seduce.
4) Apply the 3 second rule. Just start up a conversation.
5) Ask her name. Wait to see if she asks yours and whether she extends her hand.
6) Cut to the chase at some point - I usually ask "are you single?" but whatever works for you.
7) Don't ask if you can text her. Tell her to dial your number. Make sure she does it right in front of you. Send a friendly reply and use your name (it's not programmed yet and she won't know how to spell it).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JohnChops

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to tell you the truth when i go to the club with friends I usually am the only one approaching girls ( :( ) and end up losing them for the rest up the night until we drive home. The only difference is that you dont have anyone to bounce back to when your girl leaves you.

All I can say is be confident , do what neil said , dress to impress and get to know some new people. If you were around CT id come with you, im dying to find people who arent lame to go out with.

Anyways good luck man.
 

Solomon

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TillTheEndOfTime said:
Going solo is lame. Personally, if having a good time is dependent on whether or not I get play from women, then it is already a losing battle. The reality is that you are going to get rejected FAR more often than getting a number or anything else. It doesn't matter how good looking you are or how good you are, that's just the male-female dynamics.

I only go out with friends if I'm going to have a good time regardless of whether or not I meet a girl.

You're also more attractive when your happiness is not dependent on getting female attention.
It's only lame when you're not the boss or the man, going out is fun for me cause I make it epic. I've gone out in places were I didn't know a soul dressed to the 9's while people were dressed country as heck and held it down

enough bragging

OP read this

http://sjones84.blogspot.com/2011/01/solo-challenge.html

Big Neil's advice is also spot on, for once, except for number 6 that sounds thristy

The thing is when you go out be social, smile, and have fun, there is no pressure to "pick up" or any of that b.s. your only goal is to have fun and pretty soon you will look like a boss

You can go out and look like this guy here

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FNuNOvyTV...AAAJw/P698vs9BjY0/s1600/creeper(9.23.10)i.jpg

or you can go out and do it up like this

http://i46.tinypic.com/1z3qmty.jpg
^^didn't know any of these people merged to social circles together, fun times

:rockon:
 

jglide123

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I've been out by myself several times, and the best advice I can give is to start the evening by being HIGHLY SOCIAL. You have to engage everybody: men and women. Also, choose a venue that is less cliquish and more welcoming, like a house party, if you know of one in your area. If not, I would go for larger establishments over small, dive bars. In smaller venues, everyone knows each other, and you'll likely receive massive blockage....

If you're looking for a ONS: prepare for MASSIVE REJECTION. Most women at bars/clubs aren't looking for ONS, so it's best to do a lot of screening for potential candidates. Look for girls who look approachable; understand body language; don't bother talking to girls huddled off in a corner talking to one another. Try to make and hold eye contact with girls to gauge their interest before approaching; approach girls in smaller groups; if you find a girl at a bar/club alone, that's also a great sign.

Finally, it's best to go out with the mentality that you're out to make new friends and have fun. Have that vibe/mentality. ONS are kinda hard to come by, because it depends on the woman and the situation as much--if not more--than your game.
 
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