"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Going out, what place?

Levrone

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Hi,

I have some sort of a problem with going out. I dont know many cool places for a date in my city.

I don't go out regularly like most guys of my age, the most go out every weekend. I don't. Why? I dont want to go every weekend, have other things to do.

But, there's my problem. Because of that, i don't know many places. WHEN i go out, I go to party's, or disco's. Not the ideal place for a date.

So I hope you guys can help me out. Maybe I can let the girl decide to what place we're going. Or should the man always decide? Will i look like a big loser if I say to the girl something like "hmm.. I don't know where to go, do you know some place"?? I guess i will :(
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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seductionman

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Take her to some place informal, like a coffee shop, that's near either your place or hers.

It's best if it's informal, not a "dating" type of place, in order to avoid having her look at you as a "relationship guy" who she makes wait for sex.

The whole point of the meet is to get her comfortable enough to go to her place or yours afterward.
 

Levrone

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Hmm.. so not a saturday night date?

But, I don't want a girl into my house after a first date, I still live with my parents, so you know what i mean ;) ;)

What about going to the movies? Is that something for a date or is that a total failure?
 

Don_Joffe

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You sound like you are 12 years of age or like you havent read the DJ BIBLE? 1. What is your age - you seem to mention your age that doesnt go out or something, but you dont mention what it is so i dont know if you are a 50 year old man or a 12 year old boy? Places differ for those sets of ages.
You also fail to mention where you live, so how must WE help you decide where A GOOD place would be in your area , where you could be on antartica for all we know?

I can give you a general opinion of where to go
If you are
15-18 years old: see a movie
18-50: dinner

Tried and Tested those 2 ideas, they should work.
You want a cool place in your city? State what city you are in, so i can help you out...
And If you tell a girl you dont know where you want to go
1. You got no confidence
2. You arent a dominate male
3. You are not an alpha
4. She will "OWN" you
5. She will lead your relationship
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Levrone

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Originally posted by Don_Joffe
You sound like you are 12 years of age or like you havent read the DJ BIBLE? 1. What is your age - you seem to mention your age that doesnt go out or something, but you dont mention what it is so i dont know if you are a 50 year old man or a 12 year old boy? Places differ for those sets of ages.
You also fail to mention where you live, so how must WE help you decide where A GOOD place would be in your area , where you could be on antartica for all we know?

I can give you a general opinion of where to go
If you are
15-18 years old: see a movie
18-50: dinner

Tried and Tested those 2 ideas, they should work.
You want a cool place in your city? State what city you are in, so i can help you out...
And If you tell a girl you dont know where you want to go
1. You got no confidence
2. You arent a dominate male
3. You are not an alpha
4. She will "OWN" you
5. She will lead your relationship
I'm 19 years of age. And I don't live in the USA, so probably you can't help me with cool places. But I didn't mean that you guys show up with excact names of some places, but more what kind of places. A bar, a disco, a restaurant etc.

And why do i sound like a 12 year old? I read the DJ bible for a little yes.

And it will make a differ how old the girl is where i will go right. If I date a 16 year old (is legal in my country :p) I probably don't go out on a dinner right?
 

Don_Joffe

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You read the bible "a little" listen buddy, you want to be succesful? I suggest you go over the bible fully and understand it. Im not from USA either, no worries, Im in South Africa. What did i tell you? Think about it, valentines day = clubbing? No ways.
Its a romantic event not a party event.
Movie, Dinner, Drinks at your place, something to that effect will do.
 

Levrone

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I'm just following the steps in the bible. I'm only at week one, BUT, here's a BUT, I just think about the whole thing before I will do it.

When I ask a girl for a date, i want to know before i ask the girl where to go you mean. I'm a person who looks forward, so that's why i'm thinking about this stuff already.

So if I understand you clearly, i don't have to be a partyanimal and go to bars en get drunk every weekend to be a good DJ or to date women well ?
 

Don_Joffe

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No be a party animal or whatever( thats where you will find your girl) once you start a relationship with her, movies and get 2 gether, braai's, nights together in eachother bedrooms, dinner , those are the things you should be doing, so valentines day is not for partying its for love and intimacy.
 

Layla

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Take her on a nice action date where you can get some kino. I wouldnt recomend movies because its just both of you looking at a screen for 2 hours.

Some ideas- rock climbing, bowling, go to an arcade, etc.

or do something romantic like a walk in the park or on the beach
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Don_Joffe

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Layla- I highly recommend you read "best time to kiss girl" thread and read my "Don Joffe Movie Tactic" that should solve that problem. Who goes rock climbing on valentines day? Its a relaxed day- not an adventurous day. A walk on the beach sounds good that could be the alternative to the movie or dinner, but movie and dinner are the top 2 advice places I would give you.
 
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