"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Going out on your own?!

ryanvalmont

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Ok so tonight i'm off to a nightclub on my own and am getting **** from my wingman about how i'll get beat up on my own...what do you guys do?!.

Do you solo or keep a wing for safety?!.....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dan Hunter

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going out on your own can be fun it's always better with a wing,your wing makes the night better...
 

ryanvalmont

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Yeah i'll try it for tonight...if it sux it sux....just means i'll either do it again or never again :D
 

Pro

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Man I go out alone. I got a lot of confidence and know a lot of people when I go out though so it's not really like going out alone.

Just start hanging at the local hot spot enough and you can meet some regulars that are cool and then you are always all set to chill there and have someone to chat with a bit if things slow down.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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cactus3178

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^ Exactly. Just hang at a spot where you can get to know people. become a bit of a reg. I've done this at 4 local bars, and I've got -at the very least- people I can sit and bullsh*t with if things get slow.
Chat up the bartenders too, if their not too busy. I usually drink for free or for little money at my local bars. Nothing like closing out the bar with your favorite female bartender and boozing it up after hours ;)
 

JT47319

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I've done it before and I'll probably do it again. Your buds aren't always going to be there.

It's not the most fun thing for me to do. Sometimes I do really well, other times I crash and burn. It, like everything else, is a hard-learned, but extremely useful, skillset.
 

California Love

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Going to a dance with a trustworthy bro is always a great idea - you're much more relaxed and off-guard. Also, the typical jackass you encounter every now and then is less likely to bother two people versus a solitary figure.
 

david90

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I'm thinking about going solo too but I have this belief that people will see you as a loser or a loner if ur going out alone. Am I alone in thinking this way?

What is a good place to go to if u don't dance and drink?
 

Ebach

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If you don't care you're alone, that means you're in a good mood, you can chat people up. If it bothers you that you're alone you might seem a little clingy when you chat up your new friend.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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squirrels

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I'm starting to think that once you learn how to approach and talk to strangers, it doesn't matter if you go alone, because you'll make friends with the people around you and they become wingmen. Remember, they're looking for someone to wing for them, too.

Don't be afraid to look gay if you talk to other dudes at the club. Just don't be too forward with it. :)
 

michelangelo

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It's true that some people might view you as a "loser" if you are alone. But most people are too involved in their own world to notice you.

Besides, f*ck what they think. Do what you want. You are not a loser because they think you are, you are when you think you are. As the wise men say "You are the Great Catch."

In addition, sometimes, you will meet some friendly souls who will say "You are out alone? Come join us!" Then you find yourself at a table full of strangers - but you "belong" there all of a sudden. Honestly, this has surprisingly happened to me on more than one occasion.

I like having a wingman, but sometimes he wants to leave when you want to stay, and vice versa.

Try it alone. It not like you have anything to lose.
 

chicksrock

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going solo gives you more flexibility...

<but you sacrafice a tiny bit of social proof sometimes...>
 

So pimp its scary

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You have to have alot of confidence when you go out, or you'll spend the night wondering how come you've met nobody. (it's happened to me once or twice :mad:, but it's also been good a few times)

If you don't know alot of people at the club, you have to LIVE the 3 second rule. Where you are constantly talking to people, yet if you come across an interesting group, you can always retun later...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by ryanvalmont
Ok so tonight i'm off to a nightclub on my own and am getting **** from my wingman about how i'll get beat up on my own...what do you guys do?!.

Do you solo or keep a wing for safety?!.....
Tell that pvssy that just because he gets beat up doesn't mean that everyone is such a wimp :rolleyes: If I were you I'd get a better wingman.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

DJ Alejandro

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i go out a lot of times and people have had two reactions basically; that im..

1.) a loner [them being very limited to seeing me.]
2.) a rare guy who knows how to have fun even on his own = confidence.
 

phenom

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I've had some of the best nights when flying solo. I once got tangled up in wild web of a hot bachlorette party one night. I had about 10 hotties all over me on the dance floor and I could feel the jealousy from all of the other men there. They treated me like a peice of meat and I LOVED IT!!! This was about a year ago and I was ripped. Damn, I gotta get back into the gym.

Whenever I'm solo I'm more on a mission to talk to girls. It's a lot less stressfull if you think about. If I get shot down no one will ever know but if I'm with a wingman sometimes thats just an extra person I feel I have to impress. I am actually more comfortable approaching girls without a wing anyway. Whenever my roomate and I used to go out a lot we would hit the club entrance and immediately go our separate ways. I just look at it the same way. I've never been looked at as a loser but thats just my experience.
 
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