"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Going out on Friday and Saturday nights

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coachD

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Does anyone else despise going to meet women at bars on Fri/Sat night? I like going to bars and restaurants on the weekends, but to go with the goal of meeting women...I hate it.

I've read the book of Pook and feel like it's okay to just go chill if I feel l like it. Sit at my favorite sports bar and enjoy the show.

But then I start feeling guilty for not approaching "that girl". I'm new to the whole thing but I'm also on the verge of 40. Not getting younger.

Maybe I'll get over this. My coaching responsibilities are about to wind down and maybe I'll use that time to day game a bit. Decrease AA and then the weekend night life won't seem so daunting.

Thoughts?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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yyc12

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What are your goals then? Why do you feel like you need to do it? What's the point in doing something you don't want to do?
 
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Scaramouche

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Dear Coach,
Ten years ago when my Wife flew the Coop,I tried the Bars and NightClub scene...Soon realised how futile that was,remembering my Dancing of long ago,I started Dance Lessons...three months in Boot Camp,a few bucks on private lessons and I can honestly say I have never looked back...Though an Old Man now,I can go to any large City in the World and pick up a Woman at a Dance,at the least you always have a great time and look forward to going!
 
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origin138

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I think approaching women on Fridays and Saturdays can lower your success rate. They're being hit on all night long and their egos are inflated beyond belief.

I've found more success just dressing nice and going out to enjoy the night on my own. I find that women will actually approach me when I convey that I am comfortable in my own company. Just my experience.
 
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coachD

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So after posting this I went out. Ended up hitting on a HB6 at a bar pretty hard but her mom ****blocked me. I was like WTF and went out and danced with two blondes before going home.

Scaramouche and origin, great advice. I'll sign up for dance lessons soon.

EDIT: Scaramouche, what type of dance did you take? The boot camp, are you talking DJ bootcamp or dance lessons?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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BMX

BMX

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It's good to see you are still fulfilling your 30 days of approaching goals even if it's at a bar on a Friday or Saturday. What origin138 has to say is very true if you remove the stigma of going out on the weekend nights to bars just to pick up women you do better often. Dress nice and comfortable and don't make it obvious that you are scanning the joint.

The bars in bigger cities are still decent for me to pick up women in but the scene in the suburbs and country towns haven't been nearly as good. LOL @ the HB6, how old was she? When I'm in suburbs, the cougars put up too much resistance giving me BS excuses like they could be my mother. If I want to lay them in the cities, nowhere near as much BS.

As far as younger broads, they have been picked up in all venues so keep at it. If you've gone through a week of cold approaches during the daytime, the weekend nightlife scene will be easier for you to strike up conversations since you'll feel it is warranted. I have been fearless with daygame though and have struck up conversations with women who these AFC's believe do not WANT to talk to new people. Sometimes these chumps are standing there repeatedly looking back at me talking to women during my daygaming as if they can't believe I'm gutsy enough to do so. Don't let the onlookers hinder your game or rush you and you can get results outside of the bars too.
 
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coachD

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Good stuff BMX. She was in her 20s. Two kids and very shy. I just went for it because there was eye contact. The mom even encouraged it at first. I shouldn't have followed her to a second bar though. When I walked into the second place she was right there and the kino was pretty good. Still, following seems beta.

FWIW, this is all in the suburbs. I need to day game, take some dance lessons and get into the city.

EDIT: my real 30 days will start this week. The season ends on Tuesday and I'll make a point of going out every day and talking to at least one attractive girl.
 
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coachD

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At the risk of hijacking my own thread...Why do married women seem to give me the "look"? I'm sitting at a bar earlier and get very few if any IOIs from the single girls. But this one MILF is sitting with her husband (I assume) and his friend. She looked bored out of her mind. I caught her looking at me once. Then I tab out and hit the bathroom and she gets another sneak peek at me. I figure what the hell (hubby is right there) and touch her on her side/back and say hey as I walk to the bathroom. She looks at me with a look somewhere between "did you just touch me" and "get me out of here". Anyway, I left because I'm not looking for trouble.

I just wish I could get IOIs from single girls, or at least the ones not wearing rings...
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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