Going out for drinks with a girl I used to work with, any advice?

[Last_straw]

I know I'm new but I could use a bit of advice with this. I ran into a girl I used to work with a couple of weeks ago and got her new number. We're going out for drinks later this week. I'm pretty ****ty with women so I have a couple of concerns.

1) I don't know what to do / how to act. While I've started reading the DJ bible I haven't had any opportunity to put into practice what I've read. Obviously if I act different than what she remembers it might be in my favor.

2) I don't know if she even has a boyfriend. The only reason I have this concern is that this girl used to always have a boyfriend, so see no reason she wouldn't have one. But don't know why she'd want to hang out with me late at night if she did have one. And no I didn't ask if she had a boyfriend when we ran into each other or were talking.

Thanks guys for any help.

 

[terran2k]

1. Just go with the flow, don't try to impress her. Once you're comfortable, she'll be comfortable. If you go in acting nervous like you are already, she'll be nervous. She's looking for you to lead. Best advice I can give is know that she wants you, just know it to the bone and act like it.

2. act as if she doesn't have a b/f.

 

[Iceberg]

Sounds like you're starting from the bottom. So keep reading that DJ Bible.

You have the benefit of not having to treat this like a date. So go out there and have fun.

How do you act? Like a fun, carefree person who's playing with nothing to lose.

What do you do? Laugh. Smile. Bring energy to the table. Play with her a bit. Light kino. Test her out and see how she responds. Women like to have their boundaries tested.

 

[Last_straw]

Sounds like you're starting from the bottom. So keep reading that DJ Bible.

You have the benefit of not having to treat this like a date. So go out there and have fun.

How do you act? Like a fun, carefree person who's playing with nothing to lose.

What do you do? Laugh. Smile. Bring energy to the table. Play with her a bit. Light kino. Test her out and see how she responds. Women like to have their boundaries tested.

Yeah I plan to keep reading the DJ bible. But it has a lot of content and will probably take a long time to make a dent in it. In the meantime I'd like to try my luck with women. I will check out the DJ bible to see if there's anything that will help me this week, possibly posts about kino and kiss closing.

So your advice is just to push things? And what should I do if she pulls out te bf card? Just try and play it off as being innocent? To tell the truth the only thing that I'd hate is the embarrassment of making a bold move (like kissing her) and being rejected.

 

[nismo-4]

Here's Judge Nismo's sentencing.

1. Don't put her on a pedestal.
2. Maybe she does have a bf. Or not. Don't let it faze you.
3. Keep reading the DJB, you're doing good.
4. Don't be nervous. If you are, she'll sense that sh*t.
5. Take a walk and then a shower before the date.
6. Have fun dammit!

That's my ruling.

Case closed. Post a follow up.

 

[CarlitosWay]

To tell the truth the only thing that I'd hate is the embarrassment of making a bold move (like kissing her) and being rejected.

Ok at least you're honest.

Why would it be embarrassing if say her and you have a great night and she doesn't let you close her with a kiss? Chics can get weird sometimes man, just telling you....if anything you remain cool/undeterred if it doesn't go as planned. Look at it as just another test of your game. I've kissed closed girls before and they got weird on me but I didn't let it phase me at all and I would still get the f close a month later and daily texts about how horny they are.

So you fail/get rejected and then what? Do you not think many men before you have failed also in this sort of thing and in other area's say business, careers, sports and school. Yet many before you have gotten up, dusted themselves off and just got back at it. Yet man you have to be like a pit bull, get knocked down or denied something , get up and get at it with some other girl.

If you make a bold move and it doesn't work out. Seriously who really cares? You just move on with another gal, who knows she might call you back next week or next month wanting to "hang out" again and would be more receptive to your advances. Yet by then you should have another gal or two you're talking to, so you can make that choice of giving her one more shot or not.

EDIT: Please give her the benefit of letting her know subtly from the get go: A) that you're a man comfortable with his sexuality B) You Are not interested in just being "friends"

Nothing worse than a guy who acts like just a friend the whole night and then thinks he can get all sexual right at the end. Now that's embarrassing/weird!!!

So lay it on her nice and slow....light touches to her legs/back/arms, fun conversations, comments on how sexy she looks in whatever she's wearing ....stuff like that. Like mentioned above tease the hell out of her, keep compliments short, sweet and genuine.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Rejection should not be a concern to you. Why? Because if you can appear confident in the face of rejection, you'll find that a lot of girls will magically change their minds about you.

I've been denied a kiss close several times. My response? I just smile and say, "I'll win you over." This re-frames the situation: She's not rejecting you, she's playing hard to get. This not only helps you save face, but it has a way of triggering attraction, because it communicates that you are a man that gets his way. I usually get that kiss close the next time.

Go into this date assuming that she is interested- because she probably is! Be sure to kino right from the getgo, and position yourself close to her. Don't talk about boring stuff- make observations about her personality, tease her, etc. Have a stack of topics ready to go to eliminate awkward pauses. If she talks about a BF, I'd just chalk this one up as a loss; if she doesn't, you can assume that she's into you.

 

[Last_straw]

nismo-4: I'll let you guys know how it goes. Don't worry, I wont put her on a pedestal. She's just cute, and we used to have all this sexual tension between us (despite her always having a bf).

CarlitosWay: the only thing that would be embarassing would be her freaking out if I made a move, lol. It's not like she told me she still has a bf, so there would be no wrong doing on my part, right?

 

[Last_straw]

Don't think I'll be having drinks with her anymore. She said she'd let me know by tonight when she's off work tomorrow and can meet up. But haven't heard from her. Even sent her a text saying where to meet me and a time to meet me at (though obviously I'm flexible to when she gets off work). Sent the txt a few hours ago and no response. Obvious flake. Deleted her number.

So thanks for the advice guys, although it wasn't needed at all, lol.

 

[Last_straw]

So I was right about her flaking. Wake up this morning to a txt from her say that "unf tonight wont work. im too exhausted". Fvcking flake, don't get why she even wanted to go out. Or why she was asking me when I'm free. Deleted and forgotten. B1tch.